I woke up, and I glanced at my phone, hoping to see a text from Max. Nothing. Not a message, Snap isn't popping up either. I rolled over in the bed, and grabbed my earbuds from my nightstand.
I plugged them up to my phone, and started to play songs on my playlist. I was scrolling through my songs, hoping to find something to cure my blues. I kept scrolling, nothing, I hopped onto Tiktok.
I started scrolling there, "Ugh" , nothing there. With a gruntled disdain I rolled out of bed, and slid into my slippers, making my way to the kitchen.
I walked over to the fridge, opening it, looking for something to eat. Nothing really piqued my interest, then boom, there was a jar of giant pickles. I started licking my lips at the sour juiciness. I quickly snatched the jar, and went over to the table. I put the jar of pickles on the table, and tried turning the lid.
"Come on Cassie, you can do it." I was struggling to take the lid off the jar. I noticed that my dad was in the living room. I took the jar, and casually strolled into the living room, stopping in front of him. He had on his reading glasses, he looked at me just over the rim of them.
"Yes, Cassie?" I coughed, "Not that I need help just because you're a man, and I don't need a man's help for anything," I stopped, smiled, and held the jar open, "but I could really use your help opening this jar dad."
I handed it to him slightly. "Please." I said in a sweet attitude. Getting on my tiptoes, I watched as he silently opened the jar of pickles, and handed them back to me.
"Thank you," I said, as I ran but walked back to my bedroom. My door was always open.
It wasn't a thing of privacy, no. If I needed to change my clothes, of course I would shut my door. It was more so for my dog, Oreo. She's a black and white husky. It was a way for her to be able to come in, and out of my room as she pleased.
Talk about spoiled, yes, she is. I love her so much though. I wouldn't trade her for the world. I mean she is my best friend, never judging, except when she is judging me.
You also have my best friend named Kat. With her long blonde locks, and very girly style. As with me, I am a mixture of both girly, and tomboy if you will. In contrast to her golden locks, my hair is very auburn, almost brown, but with the right lighting the hint of red shining, popping through.
I can't forget about our eyes. With Kat's light sky blue eyes, almost eerily and unreal, too light for my taste. Some might say they look like the powder blue color, creepy, but suit her well. However, my eyes, just hazel. So, basic, with flecks of light brown and green mixture pouring into them. With the right combination of sun, and lighting, you can clearly see the colors reflecting in my eyes.
We became best friends in the fifth grade, Kat and I. This one dude named Mikey was bullying her, took her ice cream cone and everything. If there is one thing you should know about me, I absolutely hate bullies.
Me and my little self went over to them. Of course, when you look at a tiny girl compared to this giant kid, obviously you would bet against me. My dad didn't raise no quitter, or bitch taker. So, doing what I do best, I knocked him on his ass. Like any self respecting ten year old would do.
My dad is a complicated guy, ever since my mom left us when I was five. He worked with the FBI for a long time, but as I got older he retired. I needed him more at home then off on a plane discovering who the next serial killer is.
Now, he just works part time at the hardware store with the owner, and his best buddy Billy Smith. Our town was small, we lived in Caraway, Arkansas. There wasn't much here. Billy Smith, well he just happens to be the father of Max Smith, and Max Smith is the love of my life. Max didn't have any siblings, he was an only child like me.
I haven't been dating Max for very long though. Given we grew up together you would think we would only see each other as siblings. Weirdly, once senior year hit, it was like a light switch.
I noticed him more, I mean Max was always into sports, specifically football. So, it didn't come as a surprise that I would be attending his games, along with both of our dads. Not to mention, he was one of my best friends. What better first relationship to have then with him?
It all kind of happened very fast, to be honest, I couldn't tell you much. I mean, one day I was over at his house. He was needing help with his english essay, like usual. Me being the bombass student that I am, knew exactly what to do.
It wasn't the fact that I have never helped him with his homework before, god, I know I am the main reason he is passing all his classes for all of his life. Something just clicked, we shared a moment, a look. Then, the next thing I knew there were these butterflies swarming in my stomach.
Like with any new teen spark of romance, and all the awkwardness that comes with it. I got up as fast as I could, and darted completely out of his house. I didn't text or call him for almost a week. You know what, I did that thing where you avoid them at all costs, even at school.
Yep, I was that girl, didn't go to his game that week. I told my dad that I wasn't feeling good. I know, scoff, I was concerned about myself too. Cassie, this is so cheesy and cringey, pull yourself together girl.
However, that all changed though, after his game, he came by the house. Both of our dads had gone out to eat to, "celebrate the victory," Max knocked on the door. At first, I hesitated with my hand on the doorknob. I was conflicted, do I let him in?
What would I say if I do? Hey yo, Max, I think that I've secretly been in love with you literally my whole life. I didn't see it until we had that one awkward, cute moment. Except, it wasn't a meet cute, because we've literally known each other from the start of both of our existences? Even in my head I sucked in a deep breath.
"Pull yourself together girl." I whispered to myself. With my hand on the doorknob, and a very deep breath, I opened the door.
There Max was… leaning up against the door frame with his leatherman jacket draped over his shoulder. His shaggy brown hair framing his face, and his light blue eyes staring directly through my soul. I let my breath go. I needed to act cool, I mean he was still my best friend. Nothing like this happened before.
"Yeah?" I asked nonchalantly, even though I knew good, and well it wasn't smooth like at all.
With a deep subtle voice, Max asked, "Can I come in?" Of course, I am mentally dying inside, and want to crawl in a hole to die, said, "Sure."
We walked into the living room, and both sat on the couch. Except, I made sure to sit very, very far from him. I looked at my hands, fiddling them in my lap, not making any eye contact with him.
How could I? What if I become one of those girls that I get lost in his eyes? Ew, gross, cringe, I am not that girl. I wished I was fierce, I mean I usually am. However, the way I know he is looking at me is not really helping my case at the moment.
Then, I felt him, he got up and came next to me. He took his hand, and lifted my chin up to meet his eyes. If my knees could melt and float away, at that moment, they would have. I met his gaze.
"Cassie, what is going on?", a hint of hurt portrayed in his voice.
I took a deep breath. Here it was, the moment of truth, I could be totally honest, and destroy everything. I could lie, never knowing the existence of him in my life. There is a consequence to every action, and with the words I would say next would affect everything. Good or bad. I needed to choose my words very carefully.
With a deep breath, and an exhale, "Max, I honestly don't know. One minute I was helping you like always, and then something changed, clicked. You looked at me, I really don't know how to explain it, really." I quickly glanced back down at my hands.
Max took my hands in his. He lifted my chin once more, our eyes meeting again, but something new, something different present, in both.
"Cassie Laine Brooks, are you saying you got a little crush on me?" A teased smile coming onto his face, his dimples sharpening.
I rolled my eyes at him, "I don't know," I glanced away from a split second then back at him.
Max just stared at me. With those light blue eyes, scarily beautiful, how the look itself could kill me. We just stayed there, staring into each other's eyes, holding hands, it was all so much, but so little at the same time. It was everything all at once, like we were in some sort of trance, figuring out the next best move.
Then, with his hand, he put a piece of hair that fell in my face behind my ear. I glanced at his hand, and he caressed it against my cheek. I closed my eyes taking it in, and when I opened them he was staring at my lips.
I didn't know what I wanted to do. I started to slightly panic at him. I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted him to kiss me. He started to lean in close. Oh my gosh, why did my heart feel like it was about to explode? Are my lips too dry?
I should probably get some lip balm. Oh my… what if my breath smells? God, why didn't I think about having gum or mints in this house. Why does it suddenly feel like the room is getting smaller? Am I going to faint? God, if there is one, please don't let me faint at this moment.
As Max was about to kiss me, the back door opened, and in walked both our dads, laughing, drinks in hand. They both stopped and stared at us. It was awkward, I had my eyes half closed, and half opened, while Max was about to kiss me.
Max and I quickly flew away from each other. After what felt like a long awkward pause from everyone, we both got up, and I followed Max out the front door. His dad in front of him.
As our dads said their goodbyes, we lingered by the door. My dad made his way to the kitchen, trying to make sure we didn't notice him eavesdropping, which he definitely was.
"So," I said, looking Max in the eyes.
"So," He said right back, taking his hand, and putting it through his hair.
"We almost kissed, I think," With a quirked eyebrow from me.
"We almost kissed." He repeated back to me.
"Yep," "Yeah, well I need to get back home. I'll see ya."
He waved at me, and awkwardly made his way back to his jeep, almost falling in the bushes. I quickly put my hand over my mouth to stifle a laugh that was waiting to escape.
I shut the door behind me, and made my way to the living room. A huge grin on my face. My dad came back in with donuts, and two canned Dr. Peppers.
"Well, I am guessing you two had your own kind of fun huh," My dad said, putting the food and drinks on the table.
"Dad!" I half yelled, he only grinned at me.
He flicked on the TV and put it on his golfing show. I grabbed a donut, and the blanket that was laid on the back. I fixed myself up, and watched the show with my dad. We stayed there for an hour, before it was bedtime. I headed up to my bedroom, tossing my house shoes to the side.
I went over and checked my phone. There was a message from Max. Oh my, what do I do? This is that awkward moment after something weird happens. What if he never wants to see me? Ah, this is so silly, I shouldn't let a guy make me question literally everything, but at the same time. I am dying inside. I finally checked it.
Hey u up
yea whats up
i wanted to talk about earlier
What about it?
i like u alot Cassie
I took a deep breath. How do you even respond to that? Especially over text. I need to be cool and own up to it.
honestly i like u too
really?
yea but i think if we really like each other we would say it in person
ur right
want to ride with me to school tmrw?
dont we always ride together?
yeah but its different this time
how?
bc this time i plan on asking you out
Don't panic. Breath Cassie.
goodnight Max see u tmrw
goodnight Cassie see you tmrw
I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was even holding. How can one person make you feel everything all at once? I didn't know but I had a feeling I was about to find out. I put my phone down and charged it up, I rolled over and went straight to sleep.
The next day Max had picked me up for school. It was an awkward car ride, we went about our classes, and he asked me to stay during his practice. Which, I did of course, and afterwards we went to go eat. We have this local restaurant that serves burgers and fries. In which, he had asked me to be his girlfriend over a chocolate shake.
I was brought back to the present with the jar of pickles sitting nicely on my desk. I was finished with them, so I brought them back to the kitchen fridge.
I went back to my room. Max was supposed to come over soon, we had an essay due in a couple of days, and I had planned to help him out. I checked my phone for messages. There was one from Kat.
Hey girl, I might not be at school tomorrow. Something came up. Xoxo - Kat
anything i can help with?
No, just got a lot going on. I'll explain better tomorrow. Also, happy early birthday, the big 18! Xoxo - Kat
lol thanks seriously if you need anything just call k? Kat I love you!
I know. See you soon! - Xoxo - Kat
I was hoping it was Max. I love Kat, but I also really enjoy having the company of my boyfriend just a tiny bit more. Nothing against her, it's just this feeling that I get when I am with him. I love them both equally, but at the same time not equally.
I forgot that my birthday was tomorrow. How crazy you forget something like that. I guess I just have been so preoccupied with everything else, I forgot about it.
I would say I almost forgot about my own birthday to make it seem less pathetic, but really I did. Oops. Where was Max anyways? He was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago, and he is not answering his text.
There was a knock on the door, so I hurried to the front door. I opened it and there stood Max Smith. The love of my life. He had his backpack on, and carried his gym bag inside the house. We went to my room, waving at my dad on the way. I had to start keeping my door open after dating Max. It was a new rule from my dad.
I mean I understood it and respected it. Before he didn't have to worry about us doing anything, now he tries to peek in every now and then. It can be frustrating sometimes, because I know I am responsible enough to be trusted, and take precautions as well.
It makes me feel like all the times I was honest, and on time for curfew meant nothing. All those years being the good daughter, washed down the drain with just one moment. My dad has been better about it though after I talked to him about how I felt. He is still pretty bad about it, but not as bad as he used to be.
Max threw his stuff down on the floor, and flopped face down on my bed. With a huff, he kicked off his shoes, and sprawled across the bed. Then, he made a motion for me to come beside him. I quickly ran to him and made my way to fit next to him. We just cuddled for a second. I then tapped his chest and raised up.
"Come on, we got to start working on this essay." I said, grabbing his backpack and laptop out of it. I went over to my desk, and grabbed my own laptop as well. I powered them both on, and got on a google document for each of us.
He raised up, "Why do we need to already start on it, can't we just take a moment for us?" I looked at him, "We had us last night, and at lunch, and we can have us after we start on this essay. We need to get it done. I would like to get into college, and you need a passing grade to stay in football."
"I know, but still, I don't want to just start. I got out of practice not too long ago." I raised my eyebrow up at Max.
"I'll start brainstorming on my end, you can go put your clothes in the washer while you're here. We are going to be at this for a while either way." Max rolled his eyes at me, and grabbed his gym bag.
He started going through it. He started to pull out his shorts, towel, water bottle, extra shirt, and tank. He sat his water bottle on my nightstand. Then, he pulled out a bra. He held it up to me.
"Did you stick your bra in my bag?" He asked, looking at it and then at me. Not glancing up from my laptop, I answered, "No, I wouldn't do that, maybe it got mixed in with my stuff though somehow. Just throw it in my laundry basket please."
I kept typing away at my laptop. I was on a roll with my essay. I already had the topic and the outline set. I was searching up facts to back up my thesis statement. When he was done sorting through his gym bag, he headed to the closet that held the washer, and dryer just across from my room.
He half closed my door behind him. I heard his phone buzz. I am not the one to snoop, but it was late. It was probably his dad messaging him. I had unlocked his phone. There was a message from Phoebe, the head cheerleader at our school.
Maxie just wanted to let you know I had sooooo much fun wit u
Cassie, don't panic, this doesn't necessarily mean anything. Don't jump to conclusions. Max came back into the room, and went over to his phone. The good thing is, I didn't fully open it, so he doesn't know I already read it. I shouldn't make assumptions, I looked over at him.
He smiled. My smile. I started to panic just a little bit. I mean that smile didn't mean anything. Right? No, Cassie, you are just overthinking again. You've done this before when another girl had messaged him, he was just helping her out, because her mom was in the hospital. What could Phoebe possibly need from him?
Max finally got on his computer. He started typing, he would stop every now, and then to look at his phone with a quick smile. I looked at him, matter of fact, I was staring him down.
He huffed, "What is it Cassie? I can feel daggers staring at me." I curled an eyebrow, "You have been on your phone a lot." He looked at me like I looked stupid, "And? My dad was just messaging me."
He lied to me. I know for a fact it wasn't his dad. He last messaged his dad that he was here with me. His dad doesn't get worried when he is over here, because our dads trust each other. I wasn't feeling too trusting of Max anymore.
He went back to go get his clothes out of the dryer. I hurried over to his phone, this time to actually snoop. I went to Phoebe's contact.
Maxie just wanted to let you know I had sooooo much fun wit u
i always have fun with you
hehe c u tmrw
c u tmrw!
Breathe. Cassie, breathe you idiot. I thought I was hyperventilating. Was he flirting with her? No. He wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't. I am just overreacting. Again. Don't do this. But why does it hurt so much?
With that, my closet doors flew up. I looked over to my window. It was completely closed. What in the world? Nothing blew my doors open. That was super creepy.
Now, I am frustrated and completely terrified. Guess who will be sleeping on the couch tonight. Max came back into the room. He folded his clothes, and put them back in his gym bag (that he also had washed). I sat there, legs crossed watching him. Half in a daze and half trying to understand what is happening.
"Max." I whispered, "Yeah Cas?"
"Are you cheating on me?" He stopped folding and looked up at me, looking into my soul.
"Did you go through my phone?" He asked, in an accusatory voice.
I stopped breathing for a moment, "You didn't answer my question, Max, are you cheating on me?"
"Cas, why would I do that?"
"I don't know."
"Cassie, did you go through my phone?"
"Why do you keep asking that?"
"I don't know."
"Max, I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you cheating on me?" I held my breath. Praying for him to say no.
"I don't know."
"I don't know, Maxwell."
"Cassie, I don't know what you want me to say."
"Say that you aren't."
"I promised you I would never lie to you."
"Yeah, and you promised you would never hurt me either. Guess we're both liars, because I did go through your phone."
"Cassie, are you freaking mental? You shouldn't have done that."
"I thought your dad was worried about you."
"And? That was my privacy."
"And. You used my house, my time, and my energy."
"So, where does this leave us now Cas?"
"Not together, obviously."
"Cas…"
"Go away Max. I don't want to see you ever again."
"Cas, we can talk about this right?"
"No. Screw you. Leave now."
Max grabbed his stuff, and left my room in a half run. I closed my laptop, and laid it on my desk. I went over to my bed. I sat in the middle of the bed, lights turned off, just my lava lamp on. I was covered up, crying my eyes out. Why was I even crying over a cheater?
It was only two months, how could I possibly cry over that. No. It was more, he was my best friend too. It was so much more. My lava lamp kept flickering. What in the world is happening? I finally passed out from the exhaustion.