I hugged my family and bid goodbye to them early in the morning. My younger sister had been pretending to be happy all those days but at that moment, she finally broke down into tears. I hugged her tightly and made fun of her. She was pretending to be so happy.
"Study well and don't skip your classes. Or else I will tell mom." I threatened her, speaking quietly in her ear.
She pulled away and smacked my arm. "Go aw ay. You are so annoying."
I laughed.
I got in the car and started the engine. I watched them disappear around the corner from the rear view mirror. It was five in the morning and I was to drive for more than six hours to reach the city. I was prepared. I had slept well and I had music ready and most importantly, Jeremy promised to give me company from seven over the call.
So I drove down the road, listening to songs. Two hours had passed just like that. Jeremy called around seven and we talked about random things. I was surprised how much we had to talk about. He was a good story teller and had a lot of stories to share. I stopped for breakfast around ten and continued my journey.
It was a long journey and I was thankful to Jeremy for making the time to give me company. He wasn't working at that moment. Just freshly graduated. So he had a lot of time. Till the time I reached the city, I was exhausted.
I picked Jeremy up from his place and he gave me a tight hug.
"Finally. You must be exhausted. Let's hurry and you can take rest once you reach there." He said, brushing my hair gently.
I nodded, leaning my head back at the seat. "It isn't that far from here. Just another ten minutes."
He smiled.
So I drove to the apartment building. I was really tired and sleepy of the long journey. I collected the keys to my room and took the lift. Jeremy was taking all my bags and luggage. I unlocked the door and walked in. A fresh smell of my perfume hit my nostrils and I felt like home. It was the only scent I preferred for years. Mom must have told the cleaners to spray that. I turned on the lights and looked around. The apartment was clean and tidy. I plopped on the sofa and closed my eyes, leaning my head back.
"This is huge. I thought I would help you clean and settle things but it's already done." He looked around in awe and plopped down beside me. "You are rich!" he laughed.
I rolled my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"You should sleep for a while." He spoke quietly.
I nodded. "Stay with me for a while. I don't like this big empty space."
"Okay."
After a while we moved to bed. Everything was set, from bed sheets, blankets, towels to bathroom essential. All I had to do was arrange my clothes. Jeremy lied down next to me and I curled up beside him, my mind falling asleep. But it was thinking about someone I shouldn't be thinking about. I started to imagine my life if Kao was still with me. It seemed happy and flawless. Everything would have been perfect...
I woke up and looked around the dim room. I blinked sleepily and searched for my phone which was placed on the bed side table. The time was four in the evening. I got out of bed and took a shower. As I walked out of the room, I could smell food. I walked to the kitchen and was surprised to find Jeremy working in the kitchen.
"I thought you had left." I said, walking over to see what he was cooking.
He smiled, as he placed slices of meat on the pan and it started to sizzle deliciously. "I figured out you must be hungry."
And he was right. I was starving. "Thanks." I beamed and patted his shoulder. I leaned my hands on the counter and watched him cook.
"Is someone already living here? Because your refrigerator is full." He said.
"Oh yeah, that must be Mrs. Kristin. Mom set her up to take care of this place." I said.
"Ahh...I see. That's nice. Everything is already settled. So work starts from tomorrow?"
"Nope. I will start from Monday. I need to go for some shopping. They only allow teachers to wear formal attire."
"I will help you choose." He grinned.
I smiled. "Okay."
He had cooked fried rice and he set it out on the table neatly. I was surprised at how delicious and perfect it was. We ate, talking about my work place and my plans. He was attentive and it made me feel good to have someone to at least talk to. I had always craved for love and I was loving the attention he was giving me.
"Okay, I should leave now. It's getting pretty late. The last bus is at nine." He said, wearing his coat. I stared at him for a moment.
"Uh...can you stay over? Just for tonight?" I asked. I didn't want to be alone.
He looked surprised and quickly opened his coat and hung it back. "Sure." He said, as if he was waiting for me to ask him to stay over.
I smiled.
He scratched the back of his head. "Uh...do you mean it...like... to make out? Or something like that?"
I burst out laughing. "What are you talking about? I am just asking you to stay over because I don't want to sleep alone."
He grinned. "I see. I just thought...you know."
I laughed, nodding my head. I walked to my room and opened my luggage, rummaging through my clothes to find him something to wear. I placed a sweat shirt and sweat pant on the bed and turned around to face him. He was standing beside me, watching me intently.
"Wear this. I will go freshen up." I said, walking towards the bathroom.
"Oh. I have to freshen up too." He followed after me in the bathroom.
Inside, I turned to face him. "Don't try anything funny. I am not in the mood right now, okay?"
He exhaled in defeat. "Okay. Okay. I am gonna take a shower." He walked forward, stripping off his clothes. He walked in the shower and pulled the curtains.
I shook my head with a smile. "Don't take long or else you will catch a cold."
"Yes sir." he turned the shower on and yelped as the water came out cold. "Damn Kwan. Your shower is trying to kill me."
I laughed, brushing my teeth.
I patted my cheeks with my new vitamin C moisturizer and let out a deep breath. He came out in a towel and I couldn't help staring at his body. He was hot. He dressed up in my clothes and slid inside the blanket beside me.
"Who's going to turn the lights off?" I asked, pointing at the switch board with my chin.
He rolled his eyes and started to get out of bed. I grabbed his arm.
"Fool. The bed side light is only on. You can turn it off from here." I said.
"Oh. Okay." He reached out to turn the light off and the room went dark.
I exhaled and closed my eyes.
"Why are we sleeping so early?" He asked. "It's just eight."
"Then what do you want to do? Watch a movie?"
He sighed and shifted closer to me. "I am still in the mood though."
I rolled my eyes in the dark. "That's all you think about. You gotta set the mood right for it."
"Eh? Was the mood right that night? I just touched you and you were all sensitive."
I laughed it off. That night, I was just in my vulnerable state. It wasn't right to say but I used him as a distraction. "What?" I asked as he started slipping his hand under my shirt, caressing my abdomen.
"You can sleep. I just want to touch you." He grinned.
I placed my hand over his to stop him. "How am I suppose to sleep when you are literally rubbing my stomach?"
He laughed. "Then what should I do?"
I thought for a moment. "Stroke my hair."
"Okay." He reached out to stroke my hair lightly. I exhaled as my body relaxed. I closed my eyes. Maybe life would start to get better. Maybe he could be the one. Just maybe...
I blinked my eyes and looked around. Dawn had cracked but the sun was still not up. Or maybe it was just going to be another grey and sunless day. I turned to my side and looked at Jeremy sleeping peacefully. I stroke his hair once and got out of bed slowly. It was still very early. Six in the morning. I went to the balcony with a book in hand and sat out in the cold. The wind was light, brushing my skin like soft touches. I liked reading because it made me travel through time. The interest a book could hold was timeless. Within a few pages, already an hour had passed. I walked back to my room and he was still sleeping. He was probably not a early bird. But I wanted to go for a walk outside. There was a park nearby.
"Jeremy, wake up. Let's go for a walk together." I shook his gently.
He opened his eyes slowly and frowned. "Oh."
I stared at him. Oh?
"I forgot I slept over." He sat up and yawned. "What's the time?"
"It's past seven. Let's go for a walk." I smiled.
He nodded, still dazed. "Okay, let me just freshen up."
We spent the rest of the day shopping and having meals. He left in the evening and I was left alone. As I was left alone, the loneliness started to creep in. My mind started to drift to the past. It had been years already. The pain had eased but not healed. People always say pain will heal with time. But pain actually never heals. We just learn to live with it. And I was still learning to live with it. And maybe it would take me another few years to completely be comfortable living with it.