Breathing the air and simply going unnoticed was getting harder over time. Billy's target audience ranged from 12 to 31 years old. It was different now—back when only true cult rockers followed him… older, devoted rock fans, and a few others. But it was impossible to deny the reality: 70% of his audience hadn't grown up, and that was part of Warner's strategy—capturing an audience of nearly a billion people.
–I thought you'd give me the cold shoulder, say something about never wanting to see me again.– Billy said, looking at Avril. Her hair was dyed black with streaks, and her purple makeup cast shadows on her eyes.
She kept walking, but her presence lingered, a string of recurring thoughts. Something Avril needed, just to let it out.
–How's everything?– Billy asked, watching the woman who looked uncomfortable.
–Your entire personality disgusts me. And I'm indifferent to you.– Avril murmured. –You've got me trapped here, what do you want, Billy? I'm going back to Canada, back to someone who gives me peace… someone I haven't pushed to the edge. You only know how to ruin people. I feel like my only chance is finding out just how rotten you are.–
–Ouchhh.– Billy muttered, shifting uncomfortably at her words, walking over to the foyer and cracking open a bottle of sparkling water.
–Not "ouch". I hate you. I hate you in every way! You're a heartless bastard!– Avril snapped.
–Hahahahahaha.– he laughed, trying not to respond.
–You're such a bastard… I'm leaving.– she said.
–You're running away.– he replied.
She stood up, but he took her hand. Billy touched it gently, sliding his fingers just enough to feel her silky skin. Avril blushed; with her jet-black hair, her skin looked more radiant than anything else.
–Well then… I'll just say I'm sorry. For hurting you. And good luck with your relationship. A long time ago, I realized that your way of being would only bring me problems. But what can I say? You kept insisting… and I'm glad you're living a life with someone who can give you what you want.– Billy answered, smiling at her.
As Avril stood up to leave, Billy pulled her back and kissed her hard on the mouth. It wasn't just a simple gesture—there was care in it. Just when he expected her to push him away, she kissed him back. It always happened that way. Weakness, when people fall for the right words.
–Life gets so boring when we're apart.– Billy said, pulling off her shirt. She didn't resist.
–I've thought about you every single day since we split. I can't stop thinking about you.– Billy whispered.
Avril began to give in to every word, every movement. She wondered if she'd fail again. Dereck loved her, but that feeling… this was something else.
–You never stopped thinking about me while sleeping with all those girls.– she muttered.
–You know me—love is free. Life is free. You can do drugs, you can drink, you can do whatever the hell you want… and when you do, who cares about the rest?– The kisses were mixed. She was aware of everything, but the way she moved in his arms… it was sin, and she wanted to be wrong.
It was indulgent, the way their bodies melded. And right there, in the middle of one of the biggest and most devastating mistakes, was the truth: maybe in the coming months she'd regret it. But youth makes things shift wildly. Still, it was the desire to feel reunited in an urgent collision.
–Life is so damn unfair.– he whispered to himself, falling completely into that lingering mistake.
They enjoyed each other until she said goodbye, just before Billy headed off to his concert in Rome—an event full of chaos. He left without expecting anything more, except for the idea of betrayal no longer haunting his mind.
***
–Why are you so happy?– Connor asked, walking into Billy's room.
–Just had a few realizations.– Billy replied. The two were listening to classical music, Franz Liszt's sonatas, swaying gently to the notes.
–I swear, you always manage to piss me off.– Connor said, knowing well that Billy had probably done something stupid again. When mistakes stack up… how disgraceful everything becomes.
Connor closed his eyes. In the coming days, he'd probably hear about Billy's latest disaster—a girl in the tabloids calling him a fool, maybe even some scandal about fathering a child. He still didn't get how Gwen Stefani's husband didn't know the baby was Billy's. Or about the girl who had the abortion—it was all a complete disgrace, and he felt hounded by it.
–I can't keep watching the crap you pull. I heard you were reading lately… that stuff they make you read in school. Even though I didn't finish high school.– said Connor.
–But you graduated.–
–Man, come on. You know, we didn't do anything. Just filled in bubbles, answered some questions, they bumped up your grades a little, and poof—graduated.– Connor's words always shone with that rough-edged honesty.
–I can see you always do the dumbest things. I studied. I only did well in languages and music, but I learned what any illiterate person should learn. I did alright.– Billy responded.
With nothing more to say and trying not to lie to himself, he focused on not repeating his mistakes.
–Let's go over the music. I think it's perfect. The old man said your sample from James Bond was genius. He praised the way you used the guitar. Maybe you should play the ore guitar from now on.– Connor said, picking up the phone to order room service: two big steak lunches with mashed potatoes.
After the parties ended, they always came back to the quiet, looking for inspiration in the smallest things. Billy grabbed his acoustic guitar while Connor took notes on the musical timing.
Connor took out a white powder, inhaled a long line, his eyes reddening, then lit a joint. Both of them went about their business until Jack came in carrying a bass guitar and three bottles of tequila. The three of them started crafting new musical ideas.
–I like that growl.– Billy said.
–It was hard to match, but it's almost exactly what Spencer hit in "Like a Stone". Go up and down, but when you hit it in sharp… it hits hard.– Jack replied.
Two large steaks arrived in the suite. Jack ordered pasta instead—he was a picky eater and preferred to drown everything in booze and occasional exercise.
–The problem with smoking is it wrecks your throat.– Billy said, chewing the juicy meat that melted in his mouth. He looked a bit worried.
–I want to go back to the U.S. and have one of those thick Texan steaks I haven't had in ages.– Billy added.
–The best drink is the one you have after a good meal.– Jack said. –Better than any line. Booze doesn't kill—it's gentle, it treats you right. You stop whenever you want. It's not dangerous, and it's cheap. Legal in every state.–
–Women. They're the best.– Billy commented.
–Forget it.– Jack shot back.
–You broke up with Kate?– Connor asked.
Jack stayed silent, not wanting to say anything more than how much he hated these moments.
–Billy got back with Avril.– Connor said.
–Damn it! You went back to that devil woman. You're such an idiot. You're a damn fool.– Jack growled.
Billy rolled his eyes and punched Connor. They started fighting hard. Almost like they truly hated each other. But they knew… some topics were off-limits. And each carried their forbidden truth.
...