Chapter 97:
– Haru –
My hangover remedy was an immediate hit with two of the three ladies sprawled gracelessly around the breakfast table. Yasaka and Kushina gratefully sipped at their cups, sighing softly in relief as their pounding headaches began to ease.
Cersei, however, simply glared at me suspiciously when I offered her a cup. "Absolutely not," she snapped. "I don't want to drink any of your damned fox juice!"
I blinked at her in stunned silence. Had she even realized just how sexual that sounded?
…Judging by the look on her face, probably not.
But a second later, Yasaka and Kushina exchanged glances. Then they burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter.
Cersei looked momentarily baffled, then irritated, then downright furious. "What?" she demanded indignantly, her voice strained. "What the hell is so funny?"
"Oh nothing, dear," Yasaka giggled lightly, golden tails twitching with barely restrained amusement. "Just the… unique phrasing."
"Yeah!" Kushina added gleefully, grinning widely at the blonde queen. "Careful, your Majesty, or you might accidentally give Haru here some ideas!"
Cersei's scowl deepened, and she crossed her arms tightly, refusing to look at any of us. The crazy ass queen clearly wasn't accustomed to losing face.
"Okay, real talk," I began, turning toward Kushina with curiosity as I slid into an open seat beside my mother. "Why did you three even stay up so late drinking yourselves senseless in the first place?"
Kushina chuckled softly, brushing a stray lock of vibrant red hair out of her face. "Well, originally, I was just trying to get the stuffy ex-queen over there to lighten up a little. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
Cersei visibly bristled at the comment, immediately defensive. She turned sharply, her voice dripping with bitterness. "You try losing your entire kingdom—your home, your throne, everything—and then go and 'lighten up', Uzumaki."
Kushina's expression shifted abruptly. Gone was the playful grin. Instead, she regarded Cersei with seriousness. "You think I don't get it?" she asked quietly, her voice low and controlled. The sudden shift in mood was enough to silence everyone at the table. "I lost everything too, you know. My village—Ushiogakure—was wiped out, completely destroyed. Everyone I knew, everyone I loved, gone in an instant. My clan is practically extinct. For all I knew, I was the very last Uzumaki alive—at least until my two future children came into the picture yesterday."
The room grew uncomfortably silent. Cersei stared back at Kushina, her expression caught between shock and something approaching reluctant understanding. For once, the proud queen had no quick retort to offer, no scathing comeback on the tip of her tongue.
Instead, she simply turned her gaze downward, shoulders sagging ever so slightly.
Beside me, Yasaka's expression softened. Without a word, one of her fluffy golden tails curled gently around Kushina's shoulders.
Clearing my throat softly, I stood up and stretched lightly, breaking the heavy silence. "Well," I said gently, "I was thinking I'd head back to The Fox Hole soon. Kushina-san, do you want to come along? Naruko would probably like to see you."
Kushina gave me a faint smile and shook her head slowly, visibly pulling herself out of her momentary sadness. "Thanks, Haru, but not just yet. Give Naruko a little more time to ease Naruto and Kakashi-kun into the whole situation. Trust me, it's going to be messy enough without me barging in right away." Then suddenly she sighed loudly, throwing her head back dramatically as she groaned in exaggerated disappointment. "Ugh, it's not even going to be nearly as fun messing with Kakashi anymore now that he's somehow older than me!"
I chuckled softly, shaking my head at her antics. "Alright, fair enough. I'll see you later, Kushina-san."
She winked at me playfully. "Later, future son-in-law."
With a small, affectionate smile, I turned and walked through Yasaka's palace, leaving the three women in comfortable silence behind me.
Soon, the noise and bright energy of yokai Kyoto enveloped me as I made my way through the bustling streets toward my restaurant, The Fox Hole.
—
I stood in the kitchen of my restaurant, double-checking to ensure all the equipment was cleaned and ready for when the morning rush inevitably started streaming through the doors.
I wasn't alone, though. Nearby, Rias was leaning casually against the polished steel countertop as she watched me with an amused little smile. Beside her stood Akeno, Rias's queen.
Pausing for a moment, I raised an eyebrow at Rias, tilting my head curiously toward Akeno. "Not that I mind the company, but… any particular reason you brought Akeno along today?"
Rias's smile widened slightly. "Since we're together now, Haru, I think it's about time you start getting along better with my peerage as well. They're an important part of my life, after all, and they'll be part of yours too, whether you like it or not." She smirked teasingly, adding casually, "For at least the next ten thousand years or so."
I nearly choked at that outrageous number, my eyes widening in shock.
Ten thousand years…
Damn, sometimes it still slipped my mind just how insanely long our lives as supernatural beings could actually be. Immortality wasn't exactly something I'd gotten used to yet, no matter how casually everyone else seemed to toss the concept around.
"Ara ara, Haru-kun," Akeno purred teasingly, stepping closer and pressing a finger playfully against her lower lip. "Does that thought of being around me scare you so much? Don't tell me you're already eager to get rid of me?"
I rolled my eyes lightly at her antics, shaking my head with an exaggerated sigh. "It's not like that, Akeno," I said dryly, trying—and failing—to keep a straight face. "You're just a lot to handle all at once, you know?"
"Oh, I'm sure I am," she drawled, lips curving slowly into a sultry smile as she ran her hands playfully up and down her curves.
Rias chuckled softly, shaking her head at her queen's provocative teasing before turning back to me with a fond expression. "You know, Haru, teasing aside, Akeno is actually a surprisingly good cook. She made most of my meals before I met you…"
She was? Hmm—I do remember seeing Akeno in a kitchen at some point. That had been just after… Oh!
My cheeks immediately heated at the sudden recollection. Yeah, I saw Akeno in the kitchen of the Gremory manor right after I'd had my first time with Aela, while Rias watched. That was a memory I'd definitely never be forgetting.
Akeno immediately noticed my reaction. "Ara ara, Haru-kun," she teased slowly. "Did you just remember something naughty, perhaps?"
I coughed slightly, quickly averting my gaze even as my ears flattened slightly atop my head. Time for a change of subject!
"Hey," I asked, glancing casually back at Rias and Akeno as they watched me finish up preparations in the kitchen, "do either of you want some cooking lessons?"
Rias's eyes lit up immediately. "Cooking lessons? I'd love to!"
"Ara ara," Akeno purred teasingly, stepping gracefully closer with a slow, sultry sway of her hips. Her voice lowered just enough to send a pleasant shiver down my spine. "Count me in as well."
Since it was still early in the day, muffins seemed like the perfect place to start. Easy enough to bake, yet versatile enough that the girls could experiment a bit with flavors. "How about we do muffins today?" I suggested, pulling a large mixing bowl and utensils from the cabinet. "You can choose any fillings you want. Muffins are pretty forgiving."
Rias clapped her hands softly, instantly delighted. "Perfect! Something sweet then—maybe chocolate chips?"
Akeno tapped her chin thoughtfully, clearly considering her options. "Hmm… perhaps something a bit more natural for me. Blueberries, raspberries—something fresh and fruity." Her violet eyes flicked back to mine, a knowing smile curling at the corners of her mouth. "I tend to enjoy… natural flavors."
Somehow, even the innocent suggestion of fruit managed to sound indecent coming from Akeno's lips. I cleared my throat slightly, determined not to let her teasing distract me too much.
"Sounds good," I said briskly, gathering flour, eggs, milk, sugar, and other ingredients onto the countertop. "Let's get started."
I moved to stand in front of the work table, explaining each step as clearly as possible. Normally, baking demonstrations were straightforward enough for me. This particular lesson, however, turned out to be significantly more difficult than usual—thanks entirely to the two beautiful devils pressed distractingly close to either side of me.
Rias was practically glued to my right side, her soft curves pressing gently but insistently against my arm and torso. I felt her warmth vividly through the thin fabric of my shirt, and it took considerable willpower to maintain a straight face as I measured out the ingredients.
Not to be outdone, Akeno sidled even closer, her full figure wrapping around my left arm. Her ample breasts squeezed against me suggestively as she peered innocently at the mixing bowl. "Ara, Haru-kun," she murmured, lips so close to my ear I could feel her breath tickling my skin. "You certainly have talented hands. Have you always been this skilled at… whisking?"
I felt my ears flick slightly atop my head, and I cleared my throat again, determined to remain composed despite the relentless teasing.
"You two realize this would go a lot faster if I could actually move my arms freely, right?" I said dryly, trying—and failing—not to sound flustered.
Rias giggled softly, resting her chin playfully on my shoulder. "We're just trying to observe closely, Haru. Cooking is an intimate art, after all."
"Yes," Akeno purred smoothly from my other side, gently squeezing my arm tighter. "And your form is just so fascinating, Haru-kun."
Despite the heated teasing, I was first and foremost a chef, and a damn good one at that. There was no way I was going to let a pair of beautiful, seductive devil girls compromise my culinary pride! That would be an absolute disgrace. Ingredients were precious, and wasting them was unacceptable—even if I was currently sandwiched between the two distracting women.
So, determined to maintain my dignity, I gritted my teeth slightly and persevered, guiding them through the recipe step-by-step. I was going to finish these muffins perfectly, no matter how much Rias and Akeno insisted on pressing themselves against me or whispering suggestive comments into my ears.
This, I told myself sternly, was the true mark of a master chef.
About an hour later…
I leaned against the countertop, nibbling quietly on one of the chocolate chip muffins we'd baked earlier. Yeah, I admit it, I definitely had a sweet tooth that rivaled Rias's.
I watched as customers gradually trickled into the restaurant. It was Saturday morning, after all, and people usually came in early to get a good meal before going about their weekend plans.
My eyes swept over the growing crowd. Near the front entrance, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger sat together in a booth, chatting casually with Professor McGonagall. It was good to see them relaxing like normal teenagers for once, probably making the most of their winter break before the Triwizard Tournament kicked off again.
Further in, in her usual corner booth, Counselor Tevos sat elegantly alongside two other Asari women who probably worked for her. Tevos looked significantly less stressed today, which probably meant that the Citadel had finally elected new councilors after Saren's brutal attack had wiped out her previous colleagues. Not that she had ever seemed particularly upset by their deaths. According to her, they'd all been "insufferable assholes" anyway.
I couldn't help but chuckle softly at the thought. Politics never changed, no matter what galaxy you found yourself in.
My gaze shifted to the middle of the dining area, where Amy Dallon and her sister Vicky, sat comfortably at their table, quietly chatting while they waited patiently for their scrambled eggs and bacon.
Checking quickly, I glanced back at the stovetop to see their food was nearly ready. Good timing.
Lastly, in the large circular booth tucked along the far wall, Rias sat casually with her peerage. Akeno lounged beside her, gently sipping tea and occasionally leaning in to whisper something that made Rias laugh softly.
Kiba sat poised and polite, calmly sipping his own drink, clearly enjoying the relaxed morning. Next to him, Koneko quietly nibbled her ninth pastry. The most surprising sight, though, was Gasper. He was out of his hole—uh, I mean his bedroom—for once, and that alone was proof enough that all the therapy sessions they'd been attending after school were doing wonders. He still looked shy and nervous, of course, clutching his juice box as if it was a lifeline, but at least he was here, and interacting.
Progress was progress, after all.
Satisfied everything was running smoothly, I grabbed two freshly prepared plates from the kitchen and carried them over to the Dallon sisters' table. "Scrambled eggs and bacon, ladies," I announced cheerfully. "Enjoy."
Vicky gave me one of her dazzling smiles, although of course her aura didn't work on me. "Thanks, Haru! Looks amazing, as always."
Amy offered a quieter, more reserved smile. "Yeah, thanks, Haru..."
"My pleasure. Let me know if you need anything else." They nodded appreciatively, and I moved on, heading toward Rias's large booth. As I approached, Rias's bright blue eyes instantly lit up, and she offered me a warm smile.
I slid comfortably into the large circular booth beside Rias. Almost immediately, I felt some of my tails had instinctively drifted over toward her, seemingly with a mind of their own. Before I could even think of pulling them back, Rias happily reached out, grabbing two fluffy golden tails and pulling them gently onto her lap.
A pleasant shiver ran straight up my spine as her delicate fingers started gently stroking the soft fur.
Damn, I never really got used to how good that felt.
"Oh, Haru, your tails are always so warm and soft," Rias murmured appreciatively as she continued running her fingers gently through my fur.
Before I could respond, another pair of delicate hands joined hers. Startled, I turned slightly to see Akeno leaning in, her violet eyes bright with amusement as she gently caressed a third tail. "Ara ara, Haru-kun. You wouldn't mind sharing a little bit, would you?" her sultry voice teased softly.
I sighed quietly, resigning myself to the inevitable teasing once again. Not that I truly minded, of course, but it wasn't exactly easy maintaining composure when two beautiful women were constantly petting my tails. Doing my best to ignore the distracting sensations, I turned my attention instead toward Kiba, who sat politely across from me.
"It's nice to finally have a proper chat with you, Kiba."
"Likewise, Haru-san. I've been looking forward to meeting you properly. It's wonderful seeing how happy you make Rias," Kiba replied.
Honestly, I'd always liked Kiba's character. He seemed like a decent guy, strong and reliable. It had always annoyed me a little how, after Issei's arrival in the original story, Kiba's role in the peerage seemed overshadowed and reduced. Thankfully, real life hadn't presented that problem yet, especially since Issei had apparently been spirited away or isekai'd somewhere.
Frankly, I hadn't bothered trying to figure out where he'd gone, nor did I plan on it anytime soon.
Leaving those thoughts behind, I glanced further around the table at Koneko and Gasper. Gasper was practically glued to Koneko's side, nervously clutching onto her arm and casting anxious glances around the bustling restaurant.
"K-Koneko-chan," Gasper whispered urgently, voice trembling slightly. "Restaurants are scary… there are way too many people here."
Koneko sighed softly, slightly exasperated as she gently but firmly pried his grip from her arm. "Gasper, seriously. You need to man up," she told him.
He was literally wearing a skirt though…?
"I—I can't!" Gasper whimpered pitifully, sinking lower into his seat as though trying to vanish entirely.
I couldn't help but chuckle lightly at the exchange. Gasper was definitely… an interesting person.
"How are you two finding therapy so far? Is it helping at all?"
Koneko hesitated briefly, clearly considering how much she wanted to share. "It's okay," she admitted quietly. "It… makes talking to people easier."
"That's good," I replied gently. "Progress takes time. I'm glad it's helping."
Next to her, Gasper nervously fiddled with the edge of his jacket, finally managing a tentative nod of his own. "Y-yeah… the world doesn't seem quite as scary now," he confessed softly. "Well, at least not all the time. Some parts still feel terrifying."
"That's fair," I said gently, giving him a reassuring smile. "You don't have to rush anything, Gasper. Take your time. We're all here to support you." As I settled back comfortably in the booth, the soothing warmth of Rias and Akeno stroking my tails slowly returned to my attention.
I was genuinely trying my best to get to know Rias's peerage members better, despite the constant distraction of Rias and Akeno gently petting my tails. Both devilish beauties seemed hell-bent on sabotaging my concentration with subtle but increasingly suggestive comments whispered just loudly enough for me to catch.
"Ara ara, Haru-kun… your fur is just so soft," Akeno purred quietly. "I wonder, are all parts of you this sensitive?"
Fighting down another pleasant shiver, I turned my attention fully toward Kiba, determined not to let their teasing get the better of me.
I shivered slightly, my face heating despite my best efforts to keep cool. Clearing my throat, I attempted to steer the conversation into safer territory. Turning toward Kiba.
"So, Kiba, how's your kendo club been going lately?"
"It's been fine, Haru-san," he answered honestly, although his expression showed a touch of mild frustration. "To be truthful though, I don't have much real competition at school these days. Most matches feel a little too… easy."
"Yeah, I can see how that'd get boring quickly." Pausing for a moment, an idea suddenly occurred to me. "You know, you're always welcome to drop by my restaurant anytime. Since Tsunade's officially part of Rias's peerage now, you could take a direct trip over to Konoha whenever you want. Plenty of the shinobi there would probably jump at the chance to spar with someone like you."
Kiba's eyes lit up at that suggestion. "That's actually a really great idea," he said thoughtfully, clearly intrigued by the possibility. "I hadn't considered training with actual shinobi. It sounds like exactly the challenge I've been missing."
Beside Kiba, Koneko lifted her head slightly, quietly listening. After a moment, she spoke up in her soft, straightforward voice, "I'd like to go to Konoha too. It'd be nice to learn proper taijutsu from real shinobi. Might Guy could teach me how to punch perverts harder!"
"That's uh—certainly an idea…" I trailed off, noticing the determined look in Koneko's eyes.
Perverts beware—The loli-catgirl wasn't fucking around…
Rias squeezed my tail affectionately, causing another little shiver to run up my spine. "I think that's an excellent suggestion you gave Kiba," she said enthusiastically. "I've been looking for a way to get Tsunade more involved with the peerage as well. I don't regret having Tsunade join, just the age gap and how busy Tsunade is, puts a damper on things sometimes…" she sighed.
"Ara ara, yes, broadening our horizons is always such fun," Akeno cooed seductively into my ear, her fingers gently tracing the length of my tail. "Perhaps Haru-kun will teach us something exciting too…"
I swallowed nervously, struggling to ignore her tantalizing whispers. Just as I was about to reply, a timid, hesitant voice spoke up from beside Koneko.
Gasper, clutching his juice box protectively, looked around the table shyly. "Um…if we do go to Konoha…maybe…maybe I could finally read one of those famous books by Jiraiya-sama? I've always wanted to—"
"No!" Rias interrupted instantly.
"Absolutely not!" Akeno added just as quickly, shaking her head at him with a playful but stern look. "Those aren't for innocent little vampires like you."
Gasper's shoulders slumped visibly as he sank back into his seat, pouting dramatically. "B-but…they're just books. How bad could they be?"
I chuckled quietly at his reaction, sympathizing with the curious vampire's disappointment. "Sorry Gasper, but trust me, they're definitely not for you."
Koneko nodded seriously beside him, patting his shoulder gently. "Listen to Haru-senpai. He knows what he's talking about."
I did not—but I at least had an idea from what Naruko had told me. No plot, just pure smut. For shame…
Just then, the doors to The Fox Hole slammed open with enough force to shake the walls, instantly silencing every conversation inside.
All heads snapped towards the entrance, including mine.
Naruto Uzumaki stood there, seething. Magicka and Chakra were radiating off of him, his nine yellow fox tails whipped furiously behind his back. He stormed forward into the restaurant.
Vicky Dallon twisted around in her seat. "Whoa there, Fluffy! What's got your tails in a twist?" she called out.
Harry and Hermione, seated nearby, both exchanged worried glances before turning curious looks toward Naruto as well. "You ok, man?" Harry called out.
"I sense a lot of anger," Tevos said.
Naruto ignored them all, prowling forward until his intense blue eyes locked directly onto the booth I was sharing with Rias's peerage. He bared his canines, one finger shooting up accusingly as he pointed directly at me. "You!" he growled, voice echoing angrily through the restaurant.
I stared blankly.
"Me?" I asked incredulously. "Naruto, calm down. What did I even do?"
Naruto jabbed the finger harder in my direction. "Give me back my freakin' mother! And stay the hell away from her!"
I blinked, utterly dumbfounded. For a moment, all I could do was gape at him, my mouth hanging open as my brain scrambled to catch up. "Wait…what?" I finally managed weakly.
Naruto clenched his fists, clearly worked up. "Don't play dumb with me, Haru! I know your game by now! Every single time a pretty redhead walks into this damned restaurant, you somehow end up seducing her! Naruko told me that mom went home with you last night!"
At that, Rias and Akeno immediately burst into loud, helpless laughter beside me, clearly enjoying the spectacle unfolding in front of them far too much.
Naruto continued. "Well, not this time, dammit! You might've already gotten your greedy claws into my sister, but there's no way in hell I'm letting you anywhere near my mom too!"
At those words, even Kiba and Koneko couldn't hold back either and started cracking up at my expense. Gasper, meanwhile, went bright red, stammering quietly under his breath, "Ah wah wah wah wah…"
"She just got here yesterday. I haven't done anything!" I defended myself. This was a blatant attack on my character…
Naruto snorted skeptically, his tails still bristling. "Yeah, right. I've seen your track record, fox boy," he growled suspiciously. "I'm not taking any chances!"
Rias finally managed to suppress her laughter enough to lean forward and speak up. "Oh Naruto, that's adorable. You're acting like Haru seduces every pretty redhead who comes through his door…" she trailed off, then glanced mischievously at me, clearly unable to resist teasing further. "Though, now that I think about it…"
"Ara ara," Akeno giggled softly into my ear, stroking one of my tails gently and whispering loud enough for everyone to hear, "it's hard to deny his… considerable charm."
"Thanks for the help, you two," I muttered dryly, shooting them both annoyed glances.
Naruto pointed a finger straight at me again, determination blazing fiercely in his bright blue eyes. "That's it, Haru! We're fighting this out right now!"
I blinked, shifting awkwardly in my seat. "Naruto, you know there's literally no way you're going to win this, right?"
"I don't care!" Naruto growled stubbornly, his nine golden tails lashing behind him. "I'm not gonna feel better unless I get to punch your stupid face!"
I paused, sighing heavily. Honestly, I couldn't exactly blame him. It's not like I wanted a punch to the face—obviously—but at least I understood his paranoia. If our positions were reversed, I'd probably be annoyed too. Still, fighting Naruto felt more like babysitting than an actual challenge at this point.
"You sure do get into a lot of fights, Haru," Rias murmured teasingly beside me.
"Yeah, well," I sighed, leaning back in the booth and rolling my eyes dramatically. "That's just part of living in the supernatural world, I suppose. Trouble has a way of finding me…"
Across from us, Naruto impatiently folded his arms across his chest, practically vibrating with anticipation. "Come on, fox-boy! Are we doing this or what?"
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. There was clearly no avoiding this. "Fine. Where exactly do you want to have this showdown of yours?"
Naruto grinned eagerly, instantly brightening. "We'll throw down in the forests right outside Konoha! No rules—just you, me, and whoever gets knocked out first loses!"
"Yay! Kaiju battle!" Vicky Dallon cheered excitedly from her table, floating slightly off her seat in enthusiasm. "A hundred bucks on Haru!"
"Come on," Harry spoke up. "Everyone's going to bet on Haru. There's no point in even taking bets."
"I'll put one hundred credits on Haru as well," Counselor Tevos chimed in from her booth. "I suppose I have a few minutes to spare to watch."
Naruto visibly deflated, his shoulders slumping dramatically. "Hey, hold up! Seriously? No one's betting on me?"
A small, nervous voice piped up from beside Koneko. "I'll bet on you, Naruto-san! I believe in you!"
Everyone turned to look at Gasper, who had shakily climbed to his feet on the booth seat. His face was flushed bright red, but he still managed to hold Naruto's gaze bravely.
Naruto blinked, visibly startled—and slightly touched—by the unexpected support. "Aw, really? Thanks!" His expression shifted into a curious smile. "Wait, I don't think I've ever seen you around here before. Who are you exactly, cutie?"
Gasper blushed even deeper, fidgeting nervously with his fingers. "I-I'm Gasper. It's nice to meet you," he stammered shyly, unable to hold Naruto's gaze for long.
Naruto chuckled warmly, eyes sparkling with playful encouragement. "Hey, no need to be shy around me—"
I stared blankly between Naruto and Gasper, realization dawning slowly. Wait… was Naruto seriously flirting with Gasper?
Oh… he didn't know… Hehe…
Everyone else did, though, as we all came to the same realization and smirked.
A dry voice from across the table broke the awkward silence. "Gasper's a boy," Koneko informed Naruto flatly, her usual deadpan expression fixed firmly in place.
Naruto's eyes widened in horror, his mouth dropping open. "Wait, again!? How the hell does this always happen to me!?"
XXX