"... it's useless. I just can't focus at all!"
Her eyes fluttering open, Xie Mei fell backwards and stared at the ceiling with an empty gaze. Although she would usually be completely devoted to her cultivation practice, ever since Theodore had fully secluded himself a month ago, it had become increasingly difficult for her to 'get in the zone'.
Before, he had almost always been gone for the majority of the day, or sometimes multiple ones. Yet even then, he had frequently dined with everyone, or shared some intimate moments with his lovers. This time, however, he had well and truly shut himself away, forcing Xie Mei and Han Junqiao to undergo a 'ruthless' trial.
Both of them had grown to be very dependent on him, and it couldn't be argued that it was not–to an extent–by his design. To now be separated from their lives' very pillar felt deeply distressing to the two of them.
Whilst Han Junqiao had got accustomed to prolonged loneliness from an early age, and therefore managed to handle these weeks relatively well, Xie Mei was hit far worse. Both of them had lost their entire lives and everything they held dear, thinking of their lover as their whole world–but one of them had led a very joyful life before it all began, with surprisingly little hardship.
As a result, Xie Mei, who had primarily navigated through all manner of distressing events due to having Theodore at her side, now felt completely lost. Most importantly, she knew that this was an issue which she had to overcome, and one that the lover who she missed so dearly had knowingly thrust upon her.
By now, she understood him very well. There was no way at all that he was ignorant of how his absence would affect her and her sister–which meant that he deliberately wanted them to go through this pain. And worst of all? She couldn't blame him at all. But it wasn't due to her rose-coloured glasses.
'He's told us time and again that the path of cultivation is a fundamentally lonely one. Mostly, we'll be stuck advancing further and further unceasingly, the years passing us by before we know it. As recompense, we'll get to live practically forever–if we don't mess up somehow. I understand all of this, I really do! Yet... why does it still hurt so much to be apart?!'
Clenching her fists, a few tears escaped her eyes. Being all alone in this room, there was nothing and nobody to keep her mind off of these depressing notions. To avoid distractions, cultivation chambers were built to shut out almost all outside noise. Therefore, being in them could feel as if one was locked away in solitary confinement–the main difference being that one could always leave.
By this point, however, Xie Mei had gone too far off the deep end was spiralling further into her misery, even going so far as to bawl her eyes out. She was unsure whether this state persisted for minutes, hours or possibly days, but eventually, a loud knock on the door snapped her back to reality.
"... come on in, it's not locked."
Her voice a little hoarse and powerless, she turned her head, facing the entrance, not even bothering to rise from the ground or make herself look a bit more presentable. Soon, the dragon-horned head of her sister came into view, who glanced at her with a very complicated expression, before kneeling down next to her.
'I feared that this might be the case. Isolation itself is already really rough to deal with for most people unless they've grown used to it, and Mei'er is an especially cheerful, socially active girl. Couple that with Theo not being here... and you have a disaster.'
Stroking her closest friend's hair, Han Junqiao was lost in thought for a while, silently keeping her company as she was trying to figure out how to continue from here. Both of them could be considered to be mentally unstable, to an extent, with their lover keeping them grounded. Now that he was temporarily out of the picture, they had to deal with this loss of security.
She had begun to suspect that Xie Mei was going through an exceptionally rough time a week ago, when she had last seen her. Her behaviour had been quite off and via her refined will, she could sense that her sister's progress had ground to a halt–heck, she had almost been in danger of regressing. Reinforcing one's will wasn't easy. Depending on what sort of life events one underwent, one could even end up with the opposite result.
"Follow me. We're going on a trip."
Locking eyes with the bundle of anguish, Han Junqiao grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the floor, then dragged her out of her self-imposed prison. She understood very well that her best friend needed a change of pace and scenery right now, whether she wanted to or not. This was why she had made the impromptu decision to travel around.
"... where are we going?"
Contrary to what she had expected, Xie Mei didn't make a fuss, instead remaining mostly passive. Eventually, however, she seemed to get a bit curious and spoke up.
"Wherever our whims take us. Do you have enough supplies in your Storage Ring? If so, then we'll start our journey right now."
Sending Vigdis and Cheong Suhyeon a message on the side to inform them about her plans, she shot her sister an inquisitive gaze. Fortunately, the two of them had been taught to always keep enough on hand to last many years outside, to be prepared for emergencies. Therefore, they didn't need to waste any more time before taking off.
Following the duo with her gaze until they disappeared from her range of perception, Cheong Suhyeon heaved a small sigh. Although the two girls were by all rights adults, overall, they were still incredibly young and inexperienced.
She had seen too many people like them suffering through some sort of separation anxiety over the course of her illusory lives. If Han Junqiao hadn't found the strength to care for her sister and stood up for the two of them, then she would have eventually chosen to help them a tiny bit. Of course, to temper them more effectively, she wouldn't have interfered too much, but she would have steered them towards a correct path.
'Pure Talent-wise, Mei'er has many advantages over Qiao'er, and during most other cultivation stages, that will shine through. But while in the Dawning Numen Stage, it seems that their roles will be reversed.'
Of course, she was aware that tough mental challenges to overcome were also opportunities, so it was likely that Xie Mei would manage to not be left too far behind once she utilized them well enough.
'Qiao'er is a smart girl–if there are any issues, she'll notify us immediately. I really don't have to worry overly much.'
Feeling a bit as if she had taken on the role of a big sister–or perhaps even a motherly one–the corners of her mouth curled into a smile. Refocusing on her own cultivation, she did her best to surpass Vigdis and Navya.
Theodore's right hand had recently begun to break through to the Dedication Realm, whereas his ghostly stalker had been in the Resolve Realm for a long time as well. The fledgling goddess had only followed in their footsteps a short while ago and was now determined to catch up. And perchance it was the fact that she was in an underdog position, with the odds stacked against her, but the process of refining her resolve progressed a bit more smoothly than expected.
A month came and went, and by now, Xie Mei and Han Junqiao had strolled along the vistas of many different planets, sampling delicacies and trying out various forms of entertainment on the way.
Initially, it had been hard for the former to really get into any of it. Yet the more time that passed, the more frequently she found herself immersed in a new game that she got to enjoy, a movie or play which she ended up watching, or a novel that she had picked up. Of course, eventually, the bleak reality always dawned on her, dragging her back down into the dumps.
She couldn't even remember how many times she had jumped to her feet and slapped her cheeks, firm in her desire to climb out of this abyss. Theodore would be back eventually–he wasn't gone forever, and she knew that. But unfortunately, when it came to matters like these, reason and logic held extremely little sway.
All this while, Han Junqiao had always been at her side, sometimes silently encouraging her, and at other times attempting to cheer her up via idle conversation or introducing something interesting to her.
If there was anything that had come of their journey so far, it was that Xie Mei now adored her sister far more than ever before. She felt guilty for worrying her so much, but also relieved by and deeply grateful for her constant company.
"... hey, Qiao'er? Let's go back. I... I want to try again."
Finishing the cup of ice cream that she had bought, she took a deep breath and finally chose to brace herself. She had run away from the inevitable for long enough–it was time to face it.
"Are you sure?"
Raising an eyebrow, Han Junqiao at first scrutinized her worriedly. Yet when she sensed how determined her sister was, she showed a small smirk and rose to her feet.
"No, but I'll have to do it anyway."
Smiling wryly, Xie Mei did the same, whilst shrugging helplessly. She was uncertain whether or not she was up to it, but at the very least, she wanted to make another attempt. And unbeknownst to her, this desire alone was often all that was necessary to succeed, if it persisted long enough.
"Also... thanks a lot. For everything."
Turning a little sheepish and sporting slightly reddened cheeks, she mumbled these words, before rushing ahead, leaving her sister to catch up with her.
During most of their journey back, Han Junqiao was all smiles, fondly recalling her dearest friend's remark of gratitude. And although she was still a bit embarrassed, Xie Mei's mood had also improved a lot.
However, as they got closer and closer to their current home, a strange thought suddenly dawned on her, causing her to slow down a bit and fall into prolonged contemplation. Finally, she voiced her suspicion.
"Considering everything that we've heard about Named Families and Supreme Pillars, Theo deliberately steering us into conundrums like mine should be him showing his affection for us. After all, he was probably raised this way–manipulated into facing tough challenges and mental dilemmas constantly. That's the love he knows, so it's the love he shows. I'm correct, right?"
Met with the sparkling and exciting eyes of her sister, Han Junqiao was silent at first, taking it all in. The longer that she ruminated on it, though, the more convinced of this line of reasoning she became, therefore she soon nodded her head in agreement.
"Probably, yeah. But let's keep this discovery to ourselves, okay? He might not want everyone to be aware of and talk about it."
Motioning that her lips were sealed, Xie Mei exchanged a knowing glance with her sister, then the two of them completed the last leg of their return trip.
Fortunately, it appeared as if Han Junqiao's efforts had not been in vain. Impressively, for more than a month, her best friend's will didn't waver one bit. Although she had to psych herself up many a time, and there were plenty of occasions when her mind had been filled to the brim with thoughts about her beloved, she soldiered on.
Yet although her cultivation had seen remarkable headway, she still instantly dropped everything the exact moment when she realized that Theodore was about end his seclusion. Before he could even fully open his door, she had already rushed into his embrace, burying her head in his chest.
Han Junqiao had been just one step too late–but fortunately, her lover had two arms.