"Tsuyu, you should take him back".
Tsuyu nods. She summoned a shadow clone. She passed the house key to her - let her pick up Naruto like a sag of potato and disappear.
Uh. Jiraiya didn't think Tsuyu would stay on the training field. He expects her to take care of Naruto since he's hurt.
"Tsuyu, aren't you worried for him?".
"He's strong, his body heals fast. I wouldn't worry too much, Jiraiya-sama".
"I see…". Rather than not caring, it's more because she believes in his strength, thinking he won't need her at this point.
But… If at one point she assumed wrong, while Naruto is at his weakest and needed her… It would only make him feel abandoned, feel weak, feel like a failure.
Now Jiraiya understood what exactly felt off about these two relationships.
"Tsuyu, Naruto isn't like you. He's strong, yes. Confidence and belief in others are good, but… someone like him, at times he may not see it. I get you aren't the type to show 'care' directly, but he may not see it".
"... I don't think he needs me to hold his hands, Jiraiya-sama. He should be able to walk a path on his own".
Tsuyu said while frowning. Matters on Shinobi work is fine. But matters regarding her own family seem like a breach of personal boundaries from Jiraiya. She's not a babysitter. And he wouldn't want Naruto to need her in the first place.
She expects and wants Naruto to become an independently strong person - without any of her help at some point.
"I understand. You want him to be strong, able to stand on his own. But you have to let him know that you are there to back him up in case he falls."
"He should know. I am always supporting him", Tsuyu said as a matter of factly.
Jiraiya sighs. "Have Naruto ever felt uncared for?".
Tsuyu turned her eyes towards the patch of grass.
"At times he overlooked everything. At times I feel he's even ungrateful, not seeing what's right in front of him". Tsuyu said bitterly.
"But, he would always see it eventually". Tsuyu's bitter tone turned a little mild. Naruto may be a little stupid sometimes, but he would see it once he's done with his issues.
"That's good… but what if, at some point Naruto truly cannot see it? He would not be able to get back up. You are too closed up. Show some care outwardly, let him see it clearly".
"... I am not sure…". Tsuyu just said quickly. Honestly, she doesn't understand what Jiraiya wants her to do. She felt like she's showing more than enough that she cared.
"Huh… well…", Jiraiya's head spun. Right, Tsuyu doesn't have parents. No one showed her care and love in a direct way since she's a child. Jiraiya almost forgot Tsuyu too; is an 11 years old child that never received enough love. Naruto seems to, but it's different.
"Well… for example… just now, you could have stayed next to him. Show him you cared for his wellbeing and worried for him".
Tsuyu frowned. "He needs rest. Sitting next to him won't help. Besides, Naruto wouldn't want me to think he's weak". Tsuyu is aware Naruto hates being looked down on. And coming from her would only break his confidence down more. She takes a stance to believe in him.
Jiraiya tried to wrack his brain. It's really difficult to convey. Tsuyu's words weren't wrong… but she's missing a view.
"You are right, Naruto would hate it if you think he's weak. He must have a lot of jealousy for you, somewhere inside. You are a one in a hundred genius. I can understand that. And to have someone who believes in him like you do is something more than he could have asked for. But…".
"Tsuyu… there's a difference between letting someone prove themselves - and acting like you don't care if they do. The way you are acting, it seems like you are"
"I do care. I am proud of his achievements and growth he had. There's a lot to improve, but he's always moving forward". Tsuyu said resolutely.
"You could see his improvements. And thus you support and are proud of him. But if... if he fails and yet he insists on moving forward? If he shows no results and only regresses? What then?", Jiraiya wanted to help Tsuyu see a missing piece of her view.
"If he fails… then he should just quit. I wouldn't want him to waste his life - literally. The job is dangerous enough. Everyone has their talent, and ability. He can choose other paths in life".
This is it. Jiraiya finally gets to the point.
"You're right. There's always another path, even if he fails".
Jiraiya was quiet for a while, his tone is a little empathetic.
"But have you ever thought that this path, his way to become a shinobi, is no longer just a path to his dream?".
"Isn't it? He had always wanted to prove himself and gain acknowledgements. If he fails then it's all meaningless".
"You really would make him quit if he fails?", Jiraiya's tone is filled with exasperation and frustration.
"Yes… there's other ways to gain acknowledgements. If you can't become a great renowned shinobi, you can be a renowned great cook or whatever. He doesn't have to stick with a road that would lead to his death".
Jiraiya remained silent for a while. Tsuyu sees the 'core' reason and basis for Naruto's dream. However…
"Being shinobi is a part of who he is. You may think the 'path' doesn't matter, and you may believe you see the real issue beneath Naruto's goals. But this specific path as a shinobi he chose, it matters. It's a part of Naruto - what makes him, him. If you force him to choose another if he doesn't show results…".
"You will break him…", Jiraiya said solemnly.
"...". Tsuyu hasn't thought about it that far. Because Naruto did show promise, and she thus supported him.
But if Naruto fails to show any promise amidst all her effort, indeed, she would have stopped him a long time ago.
And if she did, would it break him? She believed Naruto shouldn't be that stupid and would understand he really doesn't necessarily have to become a shinobi at all. She even wants to disagree with Jiraiya even.
But if Jiraiya is right… what would she have done with Naruto?
No, she would still have him quit. She wouldn't let him waste his life and die for nothing.
"It's better than dying for nothing, Jiraiya-sama. I wouldn't want to see him waste his life".
"...". Jiraiya remained silent. After moments of building his words, he continued.
"Naruto will disagree…", Jiraiya said.
"... I can see that. But he just has to accept it and move on".
"You think he could move on afterwards?".
"He will. He would grow out of it and see there's still other things he could do".
"What if you are wrong? That he would be broken, forever? Would you really make him quit then?".
Tsuyu clenched her fists. She's annoyed that Jiraiya is saying such nonsense.
"That's impossible".
"...". Jiraiya could see it. Tsuyu doesn't want to face that possibility. If making Naruto quit a death wish means breaking him forever - which is just as bad as that said death - she really wouldn't know what to choose. There's no choice. That's what Tsuyu thought. And logically the human mind isn't a law to have a 0 or 1.
The two were silent. Jiraiya recalled his closest friend in the past… that person that he had failed to bring back to light. And someone who he had to kill. The orphans he had taken as his students for a short while… and the news of the subsequent deaths of them. A lot of things had brought him pain. The choices he made… ended up hurting him.
"Sometimes the hardest choices aren't between right and wrong, and at times there's no right or wrong at all... but it's to choose between different kinds of pain."
"...", Tsuyu looked down over the grass, thinking about that brat. Different kinds of pain, huh…
His eyes turned soft, looking over at Tsuyu.
"Sometimes, the best thing to do isn't to protect someone from those hurt. It's to stand beside them, even if it means you have to watch them struggle, even if you have to watch them fail. To share their pain. That's what Naruto needs from you".
Her eyebrows barely frown, her eyes looking at grasses.
"I can't feel his pain, Jiraiya-sama. I am not sure how to 'share' it". Her brows are still frowning. It's not that she hides it, it's just a part of her. Perhaps she does feel something, but just as they come, they go away quickly.
"Sharing pain doesn't mean you have to feel it the way others do. You both had the 9 tails. But you don't feel any pain on that matter. It's just about being there. Listening. Standing by someone even when you don't fully understand what they're going through. You are a smart person, Tsuyu. I feel like you are similar in certain ways with someone I know".
"You looked at his feelings through the lens of observation, cause and effect, and stimulus and reactions. And that's fine, even if you cannot fully feel in your heart - because I see that you care. For me, that's love. And as long as you stay by his side, trying to share his pain when he had to cross that hard road - he would feel that care from you, it would be more than anything he ever wanted".
"I see… I will try, Jiraiya-sama". Tsuyu's tone is mild, almost soft.
"Good… that brat needs that. And you… need that brat too".
"Huh…?".
"He keeps your path in light…", Jiraiya smiled slightly.
He thought I would be evil if Naruto wasn't there? Tsuyu rolled her eyes inwardly. She has always been herself, whether there's Naruto or not. And the only thing she considers objectively evil is massacre without any benefit except pure pleasure from it. Even if she massacred a city, it would be under a legal loophole and has a clear objective. She's pretty sure she wasn't evil. It's just, Jiraiya had this feeling. Whether from experience, or his intuition. Perhaps Tsuyu is still calculating and pragmatic as ever. But Naruto would be her limit. The last light in her dark road. That if there's someone who could make her choose another path - it's him.
"You should go see him…". Jiraiya pats Tsuyu's head, shocking her at this unexpected gesture.
"Uh. Yes… I will see you tomorrow then, Jiraiya-sama", she had a weirded out expression on her face as she turned to leave. Jiraiya chuckled slightly, seeing her leave.
***
"Nnh…", Naruto grumbled in bed, feeling sore all over. Tsuyu's shadow clone poofed a long while ago, leaving him alone here. The memories of those hate when 9 tails chakra plague made his heart hurt…
Tick…tick… only the sound of the clock tickling in his room.
Sasuke is still training outside huh… It's only been an hour since he went out after all, and Naruto's training with Jiraiya ended quickly.
The pain on his body and chest, in this empty room, somehow makes him feel that feeling.
It's lonely…
Though, it's something Naruto is used to and he really doesn't think much and puts it at the back of his head.
…
Just then, the door creaked open.
Tsuyu came in without much expression on her face.
"Mm…? Tsu-chan? What is it…?".
… Tsuyu was quiet. It's clear Naruto will be okay… but then, what did Jiraiya say again?
"How do you feel?". Her tone is kind of off, as if this question is a deliberate choice.
"Ah? It hurts all over… but I am fine… I just need some rest, no worries!". Naruto smiled slightly, trying to appear fine. He feels nice that Tsuyu is asking him.
He thought Tsuyu would just leave now, but this time she surprised him inside.
Tsuyu went to Naruto's desk by his bed, sat on the chair and read the book she carried.
"Um… what are you doing…?". Naruto furrowed his eyebrows.
"Reading. Don't mind me. Just rest".
"...", he looked at Tsuyu weirdly. Turning here and there… then she turned to Tsuyu again, her eyes still focused on her book. It's so early in the morning. She usually would still be training outside who knows where.
"You need anything? Water?". Tsuyu asks in a neutral tone.
"Uh… yeah… I guess I am kinda thirsty…".
Seeing Tsuyu leaving in a calm manner, and coming back just as calmly to give him water made him weirded out.
IS SHE POSSESSED!?
Naruto opened his eyes wide, trying to watch each of her expressions. With the way his eyes seemingly about to pop it's as if he's trying to use sharingan to see through her.
Seeing he couldn't see anything, he takes a sip of water suspiciously. He smacked his lips, trying to identify the taste. This water is normal… Placing the empty cup on the bedside table, Naruto relaxed his guard gradually.
…
He turned to look at Tsuyu again, who's still just reading her book. After seconds, an idea struck him.
She… she just wants to accompany me?
At this thought, suddenly he felt a sting in his chest. He wanted to deny subconsciously. Those feelings faded quickly, as if trying to protect himself from disappointment. But after seconds of seeing, and feeling Tsuyu's presence next to him, just sitting there, for him, something is filling and overflowing from him. As if it's about to make him float and crumble. Tears well up in his eyes. It felt… it felt overwhelming even. It felt like he's really cared for…
The tears welling up in his eyes are quickly hidden away. He turned around to the other side, hiding his face. Tsuyu didn't know… just how much this gesture touched his heart.
***
Huh. What's Tsuyu doing in Naruto's room? Reading a book?
Sasuke coming back to rest and wash-up look at Tsuyu suspiciously. His eyes sharp, as if trying to see through her. His sharingan on verge of popping...
He look at Naruto just sleeping there, then at her. Naruto is clearly sleeping. So it's not for a chat. She wasn't doing anything other than reading her book. So what she's here for?
Could it be... an enemy ninja in disguise? She is trapped in genjutsu?
Sasuke's brain had been infected by the dobe...
***