Chapter Seventeen – Nothing to Forgive
What needed to happen next? What did people do in books and movies when the camera went dark and allowed those watching to fill in the gaps with their own imagination and dreams of love? Danny found himself at a loss. He had no imagination, and that was completely understandable because he had not one rational thought left in his brain, let alone more complex concepts.
Like love. Love was a complex concept, or was it simple?
"What are we going to do?"
Damn, he didn't mean to make himself sound so whiny. But it was the only thing he could say at the moment, pinned under Ryder's dark, intense gaze that went straight through him, piercing him with a wound that would never heal.
"I must follow my fate," Ryder replied, his eyes turning darker, filled to the brim with sadness.
Danny let his chin drop until it hit his chest. Fate was a terrible bastard. Or a cruel mistress? How did that saying go? He had finally met someone, but that someone was sworn to nobler goals in his life, while Danny had no such things going on for him. He only wanted to be loved, and now that it was happening, he found himself slated to get a big bowl of nothing.
"You must go to Theodore," he whispered faintly. When was the last time he had cried? To steady his vision, he stared hard at the grey carpet covering the floor. There was no pattern he could follow with his eyes to enable him to gain control of his emotions. Now that sucked.
"Yes," Ryder replied. "I am cursed."
Danny dug his blunt fingernails into his palms. "Are you sure you can't… say 'no' to this marriage that's been imposed on you?" He felt guilty, and selfish, and a petty human being as soon as the words had left his mouth. Ryder had to follow his calling, regardless of fleeting romantic temptations. Yes, even he, Danny, would call himself that after the night he and his guest had spent together in the throes of passion. Never before had he understood that expression, but now he was starting to see why they were called that. Ecstasy was too little a word to describe what had transpired between them. It hadn't been a random hookup. It had been real, and the worst part, the worst of the worst, was that there had been no actual awkwardness between them the next morning. Danny was in his underwear, and Ryder was washing the dishes. It was so perfectly domestic. So, why, oh why, wasn't he allowed to have this?
"I wish I was able to say 'no'," Ryder replied, his voice forced as if he was struggling with himself to get it out, or barely keeping himself from saying more. "It is not only my life at risk. The lives of my entire pack… family are at stake. If I make one wrong move, their lives will be forfeit."
Because of the threat to the environment resulting from Theodore's actions? Maybe they lived on top of a mine and they were the kind to chain themselves to the trees in front of the loggers and bulldozers to save the rain forest. Danny couldn't pretend he knew what that was supposed to mean, but Ryder was deadly serious as he said those words. There was nothing left for Danny to do but to believe him.
Furious with himself for being weak and stupid, he pushed his fists into his eyes. Once he was convinced he didn't look like a whiny kid, he dared to give Ryder an intense look. "You are free to do what you want until you're not, right?"
"That is true," Ryder replied solemnly.
Danny opened his arms, hoping he didn't seem pathetic and clingy. "Then we shouldn't waste a second."
***
He wasn't only perfect for him, this human who had stolen his heart and sane mind, he knew precisely what to say, too. Ryder forgot about the last plate he was supposed to wipe and rushed to Danny. In the light of day, their passion remained the same. No, he would be wrong to believe that; they were even closer now, their bodies were familiar to each other and their attraction couldn't be denied. Wherever they touched, they burned. Soon, there would be no spot left on their bodies that wasn't at risk of going up in flames.
Ryder knew he was committing an undeniable crime, but it was a crime against himself. He would now know forever what it felt like to be happy. This moment of happiness belonged to him, and if he was going to suffer through the long years of his remaining life because of it, so be it.
Danny's mouth was a pristine spring from which he drank until a sweet intoxication overwhelmed all his senses. He would never be satiated, but such things didn't matter now. Theodore was his future, as it was written by the vicious hand of fate. But Danny could be his present, as fleeting as it was.
"Will you forgive me?" he whispered against Danny's soft lips, parted and ravished by their kiss.
"I have nothing to forgive," Danny said tenderly. "And that should be my line, anyway. I'm messing with you and your emotions, mine too, when I know that you're promised to another guy."
"I have nothing to forgive either," Ryder repeated the same words forcefully, letting them echo in the small room.
Their kiss turned furious. They didn't even reach the bed, and they didn't need it, anyway. Ryder was on top of Danny, bent on ruining him, and himself too, once more. Wolfshifters healed quickly; a scratch from a human or a bite was nothing. But Danny would retain the marks of their togetherness for much longer. Ryder fought against the desire to give him more of them along with the tender desire to cherish him and keep him safe.
Whatever pieces of fabric that stood between them disappeared as if by magic. Danny's hands were bolder now as they took him out of his jeans, while he removed Danny's flimsy underwear by ripping it asunder in one go.
"From behind? Or from the front?" Danny asked him breathlessly. "Oh, wait, we need condoms and--"
Ryder growled low in his chest. Such barriers between him and the one he desired so much were enough to make him go mad. For his sake, even though he couldn't be aware of it, Danny moved quickly and returned. The thin sheen of perspiration on his harmonious body made him look like the figment of a dream, a temptation risen from mysterious waters.
To stop thinking about how much he wanted and how little he could have, Ryder grabbed the things from Danny's hands. This most desired person asked him no more questions. He offered himself up by arranging his body on all fours, his glorious behind right in Ryder's face.
The signs of their lovemaking from the previous night were still there, fresh not only in their minds, but imprinted on Danny's flesh as well. Ryder moved his fingers reverently over Danny's entrance, enjoying the high heat coming from the puffed skin.
"You can hurry. I believe I can take you," Danny said in a ragged whisper.
"Forgive me for losing myself in admiration of you."
Danny let out a short laugh. "You say the craziest things. I want you so much, Ryder. Would you, please, hurry?"
He would have to hurry because the urgency growing in his loins was demanding the same thing. It took only a heartbeat for him to be on top of Danny, his large manhood poised at the entrance of the place where it belonged. No, not only his manhood; Ryder belonged to Danny completely. The pleasure he experienced as he let himself delve deep into the hotness of the other's body was the answer to all the questions he would be asking himself for years to come.
Danny was a willing participant, too. He moved and moaned prettily while Ryder mounted him and allowed himself the elation of letting himself be wrapped in the heat that welcomed him. They moved together. They were like two parts of the same whole, and they fit perfectly. Ryder couldn't imagine anyone else complementing him like this, least of all a person like Theodore Pembroke. He chased the face of that brutal man out of his mind. This moment belonged to him and Danny alone.
"I wish we could do it raw," Danny voiced the same thing that was making Ryder growl each time he moved, thrusting into his partner.
"We cannot," he said, knowing well what it would mean if they even dared to attempt it.
Humans and wolves didn't come together like this. His attraction to Danny was uncanny, but Ryder couldn't see it as something bad, something he should avoid no matter what. A cursed wolf had a chance to be happy, and that was something he couldn't and wouldn't give up.
"I know," Danny said. "It's crazy how much I want it, though. Do you feel the same?"
"Yes," Ryder admitted. "I wish I could breed you."
Danny chuckled breathlessly. "I wish you could do that to me, too."
Humans had a notion of breeding, as well, and Ryder was aware of it. But Danny couldn't know what a wolfshifter truly meant when he said it, the sort of bond that would form between them if they ever allowed such a crazy thing to happen.
***
Danny had had no idea that amazing sex could make him so stupid. Never before in his life had he imagined that he would be saying such crazy things to a guy he had met a mere few days before. Sex ed – proper sex ed – had been drilled into him since he had discovered sex, whether it was via the formal instruction that everyone his age got, or from extracurricular materials. Keen on learning about his body combined with the desire he had experienced toward men, he had made sure to go into this well-informed.
And now, he was telling Ryder how much he was wishing he could feel that huge awesome cock inside him without a rubber between them. It wasn't as if he knew there was a difference between doing it raw and doing it with a condom. His very sparse sex life had followed all the rules of using protection and practicing safe sex.
Therefore, his words were those of a madman, someone who wasn't him. At least, he wasn't alone in wanting to throw caution to the wind. Ryder confirmed that the same naughty desire consumed him just the same. If only they had the chance of becoming a couple; then, they would surely do it raw sooner or later.
He couldn't let his head go there. He needed to focus on what he had right now: these stolen moments before Ryder would leave him and go on to belong to someone else. Danny felt his fingers digging hard into the carpet. His fingertips would end up raw and painful if he continued to let the anger and jealousy he felt toward Theodore Pembroke get the better of him.
Ryder sure knew how to make love. Even if his moves were hard, they were ample and made Danny feel the inevitable outcome approaching.
When Ryder slowed down, Danny thought he was close to losing his mind. "No, please," he begged. "Do it harder."
"I wish we could do this forever," Ryder said, in his usual, no-nonsense honesty.
"Me too," Danny moaned, but there were things they couldn't postpone.
His hand moved up and down his cock like a piston. Ryder pushed inside him, like he wanted to get there with his whole being. Danny could no longer keep it in.
He announced to his lover of his impending ruin, receiving the same warning in return. Were they going to come at the same time? Not even movies were this graphic when it came to sealing the deal between people who were beyond compatible when it came to sex and lovemaking.
But he and Ryder were. Danny whispered all the curses available in his vocabulary, as his need soared alongside with temporary madness.
"Come inside me," he said, although he knew that was impossible.
"I will," Ryder promised.
They were playing the same game, and they knew it. Although they had been absolute strangers only days ago, now they knew how to get each other off, and at the same time too.
Danny thought he had to be imagining things because he could swear he felt the heat of Ryder's cum when it exploded inside him. That was impossible; sex with a condom didn't work like that. The idea, however, worked, pushing him over the edge. The grey carpet would need some proper scrubbing after this, but he couldn't care less. This was what he wanted.
Ryder released him slowly and pulled him into his arms.
"It's unfair," Danny mumbled. "We shouldn't be so compatible."
There was no reply from Ryder. Danny watched his handsome face, his closed eyes, and the way his chest rose and fell. That was his dream guy, right there.
***
It was madness to continue carrying on like this. Ryder was convinced he should allow himself this brief intermezzo before obeying the dictates of fate, but he was worried for his sanity. The more he indulged in Danny's body, the more he craved it.
He wanted more. It was impossible for him not to want Danny. The thought was stark and imperative inside his mind.
He rolled Danny onto his back, enjoying the way the other opened his legs to welcome him.
"Again?" came the incredulous whisper.
"I must," Ryder replied.
"Let me change your condom."
Ryder closed his eyes to contain his rage at being denied feeling his partner completely. Humans and their rules. But Danny couldn't know Ryder's true nature; he couldn't learn that wolves couldn't hurt humans that way, nor that they remained unaffected by human afflictions.
It was a good sign that the curse was strong. It looked like he kept forgetting about the impact – both known and unknown – of a pairing between a wolf and a human. Danny was right to be cautious, even if he didn't know the correct reasons for it.
The sensation of nimble fingers on his cock was from another world. He was grateful it was Danny doing this to him, because if he were the one struggling with the human device to keep his cum from touching the other's body, he would mess it up for sure.
"I believe we're good to go," Danny whispered. "You are so hard again. I feel tempted to take it as a compliment."
"I desire you completely," Ryder said. "I can't help wanting you."
Danny's candid eyes watched him from below. "Don't hold back then. I want you to want me like this."
Other words were no longer needed between them. Ryder embraced Danny with everything he had. His arms searched for the reassurance that the body in his arms was real and belonged to him, even if only temporarily.
Danny helped him by wrapping his legs around him. "I've never thought I'd ever have the guts to look at someone like this."
"Look at me for as long as you want," Ryder encouraged him. "I want to see the look in your eyes and taste every breath leaving your mouth while I lose myself in you."
***
He had to be a poet, too. Danny couldn't see any other kind of person saying such incredible things while remaining as serious as Ryder was right now. His words sounded believable, because Ryder was so honest and direct all of the time. Danny could and would take such words at face value, and would even allow his own heart to swell as a result.
No one would ever be able to make him feel this way again. The thought was supposed to make him sad, but he didn't feel a smidge of that. Instead, he felt like he could take on the worst the world had to give with a smile on his face.
Someone wanted him. Specifically, Ryder wanted him, an Average Joe who had never had one proper relationship in his life. That would never change from here on out. Danny would live with the knowledge of this simple wonderful fact.
Ryder moved above him, waking up the now familiar sensations while adding something new. Danny was dimly aware of the tenderness making his chest rise; it was more than sex and even lovemaking, what they were doing right now. They were committing themselves to each other, and not even Theodore Pembroke would ever be able to take that away from them.
The man would have Ryder as his husband, but he would never have Ryder like this. Danny couldn't tell what exactly made him so sure of that, but he knew it to the marrow of his bones.
TBC