As soon as Saber vanished, the atmosphere around them felt… calmer.
"Oh crap."
Olga and Gudako saw Caster emitting golden particles, a sign that he was about to disappear.
"Well, not too surprising. The battle's over, and I'm the last Servant standing, so it's time for me to go."
"Lancer… you're really leaving now?" Gudako asked.
"Oh? Finally showing your cute side? That's scary, stop it."
"I hope you die faster, Lancer."
Caster grinned and turned to Olga.
"Little lady, don't get consumed by Chaldea, okay?"
"Huh? What do you mean by that??"
"See ya! Oh, and summon me as a Lancer next time, alright? Even if it's not Lancer, at least give me Gae Bolg! I'll be waiting for you guys!!"
With that, he vanished without a trace.
"So it's over…"
"Over? What did he mean by 'consumed by Chaldea'??"
Gudako then noticed Shuten Douji approaching her.
"Master, could you get in touch with Nura-chan for me? He's too good at hiding."
"Uh… can I refuse?"
"Haha! You're so kind, covering for Nura-chan even after all the wrongs he's done to me. How disappointing~"
"WRONGS?! OI, NURA! YOU DARE DO THAT WITH ANOTHER GIRL?! YOU SCUMBAG!!"
Hearing no response from Nura's side, Gudako grew even angrier, while Shuten smirked mischievously.
"Alright, stop it! We need to wake Mash up so she can connect with Roman right now to teleport us back to Chaldea!"
At that, Gudako and Shuten glanced at Mash, still unconscious.
"Uh… got any water? Splash it on her face."
"I've got sake, fufu~ One sip, and she'll wake right up."
"Perfect! Do it, Shuten!"
So, Shuten poured a little on Mash's face. Mash immediately opened her eyes, coughing violently.
"Aghh! My throat's burning!! Can't breathe… Blegh!"
Ugh, isn't this sake a bit too strong? Mash is vomiting already?
"Good job, Shuten-chan!"
"I think you and I get along well~"
'Yeah, two evil people would get along,' Olga thought, staring at them silently.
Mash finally stood up, and Fou rushed over, jumping onto her head, crying nonstop.
"Fou… thank you for worrying about me."
"Mash! Connect with Chaldea, quick!"
"Y-Yes!"
A screen popped up, showing a very anxious man.
[Thank goodness! You're all alive!!]
"What's going on?"
[I tried connecting with you, but the signal kept glitching and was unstable. My guess is the massive explosion caused the connection to falter.]
Ahh, I know who's to blame… (*Yeah, yeah, it's my fault, Caster here.*)
[…I don't see Saber or Caster anymore? Did we win?]
"Yes, thanks to our new Servant. She's stronger than I expected," Olga said, pointing at Shuten.
"Yo, handsome, I'm Shuten Douji, and I hate milk cows~"
[Ah, hello! It's an honor to meet a powerful Servant like you!]
"Aw, quite the smooth talker, unlike Nura-chan, who lies without blinking."
[Uh… where's the Director, Mash?]
At that, Mash looked around and saw Olga holding something.
"Director! What are you doing?"
Olga glanced over, sweating a bit, then approached.
When she revealed it, everyone's eyes widened.
"T-T-THE HOLY GRAIL!!!"
"YOOOHOOOO!!! NOW I CAN WISH FOR A PROPER WEDDING CEREMONY FOR ME AND NURA!!"
"Oh, the Holy Grail? That means I can use it to drink sake."
[Director! I thought you were just a nagging, useless, arrogant person, but I was wrong. You're the best girl in the world! Fans will love you more than your canon version!]
"What the heck are you talking about, Roman?!"
As everyone focused on the Holy Grail, a cough interrupted them, making them glance toward the source.
A man with slightly messy, long hair, narrowed eyes, and very formal attire stood there.
"L-Lev?! Is that you?!" Olga's eyes lit up when she saw him.
Lev looked at everyone, then at the screen showing Roman.
"Doctor, it seems you didn't follow my orders."
[Follow your orders?]
"Hmph, I shouldn't expect anything from humans. You can't even handle a simple command to stay focused."
Lev smirked, and it wasn't a pleasant smile.
"…Lev?" Olga sweated, seeing the man she always relied on with a completely different expression.
"Olga… I can't believe you're still alive. Is this pure luck? Or misfortune?"
Lev then looked at Gudako, who was still very confused.
"And you, Master Number 48. I can't believe someone with no potential like you made it this far. I should give you a round of applause."
"Turning an ordinary person into a Demi-Servant? That's incredibly impressive."
"Compared to Olga, I like you better."
"No thanks, I'm into hot guys, not old men."
Lev burst into laughter, his eyes full of chaos.
"But humans are still humans—weak, deserving of death, pathetic. You lot don't deserve to change my mind!"
Mash rushed forward, shielding everyone.
"Senpai, Director, please step back! The person in front of us isn't the Lev we know!"
Lev glanced at Mash and raised his hand.
"Break their spirit."
Mash was instantly flooded with a barrage of memories:
177013, NTR, *Rent a Girlfriend*, MHA fandom, Loud House fanfic, Skibidi, *Solo Leveling*, *Snow White* live-action.
All of it… everything she saw…
She felt everything, yet felt nothing.
After taking that hit, she collapsed again, her eyes lifeless.
"MASH?!"
"Hmph, such weaklings. Can't even handle the sins you've caused?"
Lev placed a hand on his chest.
"Do you know… do you know what I've had to witness living in this world?!"
"The manga I loved got axed, my favorite YouTuber turned out to be a groomer, the hentai I read was freaking NTR!!"
"And you know what else?!"
His eyes burned with hatred as he glared at them.
"You filthy humans… dared to ship Shinji with Saber, Tohsaka, and Sakura?! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU ALL TO BRING JUSTICE FOR MY BOY, SHIROU EMIYA!!!!!!"
…Holy crap, author, you've completely wrecked the FGO storyline, what the heck?!
"Also, Olga,"
Lev looked at Olga with a wicked smile.
"You've been dead for a long time."
"…Huh?"
What? What do you mean I'm dead? But… I'm still here, aren't I?
"Sounds sad, doesn't it? In the end, you didn't even know. Your physical body doesn't even exist anymore."
"But don't worry, I'll give you a happy ending—a happy ending I read in my favorite manga."
[Director, RUN!!!]
Olga's eyes widened as she saw Lev transform, becoming more muscular, more imposing.
"Alright, ahem… ZA WARUDO!!!"
Time stop sound effect
"…One second."
Olga felt her body freeze, unable to move.
"…Two seconds."
"Three… four… five seconds."
Olga had a terrible feeling, as if…
As if the Grim Reaper himself was standing beside her.
"Six… seven seconds!"
Suddenly, a massive shadow loomed over where she stood.
"CHALDEASAAAAA!!!"
Lev lunged down, hurling a glowing red orb toward Olga.
Olga was slammed into the ground by the Chaldeas orb, its searing heat robbing her of consciousness.
"MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!!"
"MUDADA!!"
With a final punch, Lev leapt back.
"Zero…"
Time resumed.
Before Olga could even scream, she was absorbed by the Chaldeas orb, vanishing completely into the void.
[…The Director's dead?]
Roman could hardly believe it. When did she get killed?
"What the hell?! I thought she was some important character! She died so pathetically?!"
Suddenly, someone was flung out from hiding and landed next to Gudako.
"Nura!"
"…I tried to save her, but he did something… Did he stop time?!"
"Enough talk, you filthy humans!"
Lev pointed at the group, striking an absurdly dramatic pose.
"Next… it's your turn!"
Suddenly, the ground shook violently.
"Huh?!"
"Tch, the Singularity's reached its limit, has it? That Saber was truly useless. If she had followed my orders, I could've killed you all by now."
"Well then… farewell, Roman, Mash, and you Servants."
"And especially you, Ritsuka Fujimaru."
"…Roman? Rayshift, now?" Gudako was sweating profusely.
[I'm already on it!!]
In an instant, the group vanished. The last thing Gudako saw before the Rayshift was Lev's sinister smile.
*****
You can seen this as parody, so don't take anything serious