Malrik's POV
I was just about to step out of the ORC room when the doors opened with the dramatic flair of a stage play.
Sona Sitri walked in, flanked by her peerage, calm as ever, her expression unreadable behind those sharp glasses. Always the perfect student council president—cold, collected, and, in her own way… dangerously intriguing.
"Ah, Malrik. You're here too," she said, as if we hadn't just crossed paths yesterday.
"President Sona," I replied with a casual grin, slipping my hands into my pockets. "Looking sharp as always. What brings you to the House of Chaos?"
Rias raised an eyebrow at me from her desk. Akeno chuckled.
Sona didn't miss a beat. "I was hoping to speak with Rias. But I suppose catching the infamous Malrik here is a bonus."
Infamous, huh? I liked that.
Her peerage stepped in behind her, the usual group—Tsubaki beside her like a loyal shadow, and the rest quietly fanning out. Except for one I hadn't met yet.
Blond hair, gray eyes, and a chip on his shoulder.
"This is Genshirou Saji," Sona said, motioning to him like she was introducing someone halfway important. "One of my younger peerage members."
Saji stepped forward, arms crossed. I could feel him sizing me up. Badly.
"Oh, so you're Malrik?" he said, with a forced grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You're the human everyone's talking about? Can't say you look that impressive."
I blinked slowly. "Ah. A brave one."
He raised his chin slightly. "No offense, but what's so great about a human with a Sacred Gear? You look like a normal guy."
Sona's eyes narrowed.
"Saji," she said, sharp as a blade. "Enough."
Saji paused, confused. "But—"
"Let me be clear." Her voice dropped to that icy, no-nonsense tone. "You're not qualified to measure Malrik's strength."
That was as close to praise as you'd ever get from Sona Sitri.
Saji blinked again, visibly rattled.
I didn't even bother with a comeback. I just gave him the smallest smirk and turned my full attention to the women in the room where it belonged.
"Tsubaki," I said smoothly, "as elegant as ever."
"Polished lines but hollow flattery," she replied dryly—but I didn't miss the faint upward curve at the edge of her lips.
"Momo," I added with a wink, "looking cute today. You should let your hair down more often."
Sona adjusted her glasses. "Flirting won't earn you favor."
"Wouldn't call it flirting," I said, stepping a little closer, just enough to make her raise an eyebrow. "Just appreciating good aesthetics."
Aika groaned from behind me. "Can someone slap him, please? Preferably hard?"
In the corner, Saji looked like he was going through a life crisis.
Right then, Issei came strolling in—late, as usual—looked between me and Saji, then gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
"You'll get used to it, man," he said with a sigh. "I stopped trying to compete with him weeks ago."
Saji just blinked. "...Why is everyone letting this guy act like he owns the place?"
"Because," Akeno said with her usual mischievous smile, "sometimes it feels like he does."
I stretched with a yawn. "Hey, I'm not trying to take over anything. Just passing through, spreading charm, unsettling egos."
Sona gave me a flat stare. "Unsettling, yes."
Rias finally cleared her throat, clearly amused but also trying to regain control of the room.
"Alright," she said, "as entertaining as this is… Sona, you came here for something?"
She gave a small smile—barely there. "Yes."
And with that, she turned and walked toward Rias, Tsubaki following like a shadow.
Saji stayed behind for a moment, still trying to process what just happened. He opened his mouth.
Then closed it again.
Good choice.
I turned back to Aika, who had already stolen my seat and was casually sipping from my drink.
"You know," she said, "you really are a menace."
I leaned beside her and smirked. "And yet, you keep following me."
"Shut up and sit down before you cause another incident."
———
Just when I thought things were settling down, it happened.
Issei and Saji locked eyes.
There was a pause—barely three seconds of total silence—before the sparks began to fly.
"You're the perverted devil from Rias Gremory's peerage, right?" Saji said, his lip curling.
Issei raised a brow. "You're the guy with the attitude problem, huh? From Sona's group?"
Saji crossed his arms. "I've heard the rumors. The 'Oppai-loving pervert' who hides behind his girls."
Issei's face twitched. "Say that again."
"Oh? Did I hit a nerve?"
I sighed, stepping to the side with my arms crossed, watching the chaos brew like a volcano about to pop.
Aika leaned next to me. "Want to stop them?"
"Nah," I replied. "Boys need to bark sometimes."
Back in the center of the room, Issei had already stepped forward, fire in his eyes.
"I'll have you know, my path to becoming the Harem King is noble!"
Saji blinked. "Wait. That's your life goal?"
"Damn right it is! And I've got real backing too!" Issei flexed his gauntlet arm, the red Boosted Gear glowing faintly.
Saji scoffed and held up his own arm. Black and gold light shimmered around it.
"My gear might not be as flashy, but I don't need Boost to handle idiots."
"You wanna go right now, Vibe Cable Boy?!"
"Bring it on, Boob Dragon!"
The room collectively facepalmed.
Even Rias and Sona looked like they were regretting their entire existence.
"Should we stop them?" Tsubaki asked quietly, looking to her King.
Sona pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. Let them burn themselves out."
"Boost!" Issei's gear called out.
"You seriously activated it?!" Saji growled, his Sacred Gear crackling.
They were about two seconds away from actually clashing when Koneko, of all people, casually walked between them and karate chopped both in the back of their heads.
Thud!
Both boys crumpled with a synchronized groan.
"Stupid," Koneko muttered.
Akeno giggled. "Ah~ Youth."
I chuckled as the dust settled. "I swear, I didn't even have to say anything this time."
"Getting used to that," Aika said.
Rias rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it's like watching puppies fight over a squeaky toy."
As Issei and Saji groaned on the floor, both muttering complaints and insults at each other, I stepped forward, crouched down, and clapped my hands once.
"Alright, children. Recess is over. Try not to blow up the school next time, yeah?"
Both of them glared at me—but stayed down.
"Man…" Issei mumbled, "why do I keep losing to you… even in comebacks…"
I just smiled. "Because I'm the MC of a better novel."
"Hey!"