Yuki looked over, finally sensing something was wrong.
"Rika-chan...?"
Rika forced a breath, the bitterness spilling out before she could stop herself.
"They're naked, you know," she said flatly.
Yuki blinked, confused.
"Eh?"
"In the bathroom," Rika added, voice sharp and hollow. "Your beloved Senpai. My beloved Ai."
Yuki's eyes widened, mouth falling open.
"They're in there," Rika continued, her words cold and cruel, like stones dropping into a deep well. "Together. Naked. Showering. Washing each other. Touching each other."
Yuki's face went beet red.
He visibly wobbled where he sat, his small fists clenching his jeans.
"I—" he squeaked, his voice breaking.
Rika gave a short, bitter laugh.
"And we just have to sit here," she said. "Like idiots. Knowing."
Yuki looked like he might cry again.
His lip trembled, his whole body shaking slightly.
"I didn't—" he started, voice high and tight.
"I know," Rika cut him off.
They sat there for a long, miserable moment.
Rika leaned her head back against the sofa, closing her eyes.
"We're hopeless," she muttered.
Yuki sniffled quietly beside her.
Neither of them said anything else.
Because really, what was there to say?
The silence stretched.
Thick. Heavy. Unbearable.
Finally, Yuki shifted beside her, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve.
He wasn't looking at her.
He was staring down at his lap, voice barely above a whisper.
"...At least... I might still have a chance," he mumbled.
Rika's eyes cracked open, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Yeah," she said bitterly. "You might."
Yuki pressed his lips together, hands clenching tighter.
"I don't know for sure," he said quickly, as if afraid she might snap at him. "I—I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's just teasing me. Maybe he doesn't really mean anything by it. But... I wanna hope."
His voice cracked on the last word.
Hope.
That cruel, stupid little thing that kept them breathing when it would have been easier to just curl up and disappear.
Rika closed her eyes again.
Hope.
It hurt worse than despair.
She turned her head slightly, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
Yuki was hunched over, fists trembling, face hidden by his bangs.
Small. Vulnerable.
Exactly how she felt inside.
"You're not even the right gender either," she said softly.
Yuki blinked, glancing up.
Rika gave a sharp, humorless smile.
"But you still might have a chance," she muttered.
Yuki's mouth opened, then closed again. He looked unsure, guilty even.
"And me?" Rika continued, laughing hollowly. "I have no chance. None."
She tilted her head back against the sofa, eyes burning.
"Ai..." she whispered. "She doesn't like girls that way."
Yuki watched her, wide-eyed and silent.
Rika let the words tumble out, a bitter flood she couldn't dam anymore.
"I asked her once. Just to make sure. You know what she said?"
Yuki shook his head faintly.
Rika gave a jagged laugh.
"She said the idea of kissing a girl made her feel sick. Like she'd want to scrub it off. Like it was wrong. Disgusting."
Yuki flinched.
Rika squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the lump in her throat back down.
"I'm not even an option to her," she said. "I'm just... there. Just her best friend. Nothing more."
Yuki hesitated, then awkwardly reached out and patted her shoulder — clumsy, trembling.
It wasn't perfect.
But somehow, it helped a little.
They sat there in silence, two hopeless idiots nursing broken hearts they had no idea what to do with.
Rika exhaled shakily, her voice cracking as she whispered:
"I guess... we're both hopeless."
Yuki gave a tiny, watery laugh.
"Yeah," he said softly. "Hopeless."
But even in the hollow emptiness, some part of Rika knew —
Yuki still had a chance.
Even if he wasn't the "right" gender either.
And her?
She had nothing but ashes.
The silence stretched for a few more seconds... then Rika groaned dramatically, throwing her head back against the sofa with a thud.
"They're definitely enjoying themselves," she muttered, voice dripping with bitter sarcasm.
Yuki nodded solemnly beside her, arms crossed.
"Definitely," he agreed.
Rika kicked her foot against the carpet like a sulky kid.
"Ughhh," she whined. "Onii-san is probably—" she flailed her arms, "—touching Ai! Her soft little body! Kissing her!"
Yuki made a disgusted face.
Rika didn't stop.
"She's so adorable! She looks like a freaking doll!" she cried. "And he's there, touching her, kissing her—doing stuff—and he's so lucky! I hate it!"
She crossed her arms, puffing her cheeks out like a pouting child.
"...Though," she added begrudgingly after a beat, "he does make tasty pancakes."
Yuki let out a sudden snort, clamping his hand over his mouth.
"You're impossible," he wheezed.
"Am not!" Rika huffed, glaring at him sideways.
Yuki wiped his eyes dramatically.
"And you think I'm hopeless," he mumbled under his breath.
Rika stuck her tongue out at him childishly.
Yuki leaned back against the couch, throwing an arm over his eyes with an exaggerated groan.
"It's not like I'm jealous or anything," he said in his best fake-casual voice.
"Nooo, totally not jealous that Ai gets to touch Shin. Hug him. Kiss him. Run her hands all over his stupidly hot, muscular body."
He peeked at Rika through his fingers.
"Those abs," he said mournfully. "Those arms. That ridiculously smug but somehow still handsome face."
Rika burst out laughing despite herself, her voice half-choked, half-snarling.
"Stupid sexy Onii-san!" she cried.
"Stupid perfect Onii-san!" Yuki added, throwing a cushion at her head.
Rika caught it and threw it right back, hitting him square in the chest.
Both of them dissolved into a ridiculous little wrestling match, the tension breaking like a popped balloon.
Finally, panting and messy-haired, they collapsed back into the sofa, limbs sprawled everywhere.
Rika wiped at her watering eyes, snickering.
"God, we're pathetic," she said.
"Pathetically awesome," Yuki corrected proudly.
"Yeah," Rika agreed, giving a crooked, sad little smile. "Pathetically awesome."
They both sat there for a long moment, breathing heavily, listening to the faint sound of running water from the bathroom.
Both knowing exactly what was happening behind that door.
Both feeling the sharp, aching twist in their hearts.
But at least for now —
They weren't alone in it.
---
END OF CHAPTER : 63 : ATLEAST... I HAVE A CHANCE!
---