By the time she got home, the sky had dimmed into a gentle dusk. She tossed her bag onto the hallway bench and entered the lounge.
Her mother was there, sitting stiffly with her ankles crossed, a magazine untouched on her lap. She looked up immediately when Jay walked in.
"Jay," she said, smiling faintly. "How are you?"
Jay paused, disoriented by the soft tone and actually irritated by it. Her mother rarely greeted her like that only at occasions when she wanted jay to do something or when she wanted to clear herself of any feelings of guilt.
"I'm okay," she replied cautiously.
Her mother stood. "Would you like something to eat?"
Jay narrowed her eyes. The concern sounded… off. "Do you want something, Mama?"
Her mother's expression shifted slightly. "What are you saying, Jay? Now I can't even talk to you?"
Jay sighed. "I'm just asking if there's something you want to say."
Her mother hesitated, her mouth parting and then closing again. Something was building behind her eyes and on her tongue, but her nervousness, maybe even fear was clearly visible. Jay tilted her head, watching her closely.
"Mama?"
"I just—" her mother stepped closer and gently held Jay's wrist. "Sit. Please. I want to talk to you."
Jay followed her to the couch. Her heart began to thump again, but this time not over the button. This time it was her mother's voice all measured, strange and sweet laced with flattery that she was not used.
"Your father and I… we've decided something."
Jay stiffened. "What do you mean?"
But before her mother could continue, she deflected jay's question and started saying, "ah… leave that … let me ask you something… Jay, do you remember I told you there was an issue in my company?"
Jay nodded slowly. "Yeah. I heard you talk to Dad about it. you didnt tell me especially."
Her mother nodded without istening the later part of what jay had said, absently twisting her fingers. "Yes… well, it's about that. I was talking to your dad about it yesterday… so actually jay … Our company isn't doing well. We need help. your help. And I want you to know that everything we do is to keep this family stable—to make sure you're taken care of."
Jay's brows furrowed. "Okay… but how do I help with that? I don't even know what your company does, Mama. "
A guilty smile crossed her mother's face.
Jay looked at her and said with confusion…"do you want me to stop studying?"
"No its not it"… her mother replied
"You want me to earn my own bread?"
Her mother didn't respond this time…
"Ahh… so its about that… no problem I can handle that … don't worry… I was also thinking of earning on my own…"
Jay… please… try to understand… her mother interrupted
"What? What do you want to me to understand?" Jay was defensive now. she was feeling irritated.
"its not about that"… her mother again said desperately…
"So what do you want mama…? She asked, now her eyes absent of all emotions…but her mother still couldn't bring herself to say anything… she just held jay's hand and then looked here and there…jay following her mother's gaze.
"You want me to move out?" jay questioned
Her mother looked at her… jay tilt her head and look back at her…
" I can move out but I cannot move out instantly like I need time to look up for a place, look for a source of income to pay rentals all that and pay for my tuition." jay tried to answer as if it didn't matter to her … but she was shivering already…
"Jay…"
"Mama… I have understood whatever you want…I will go to my room now, I need to rest… lets talk about it later… I cannot listen more to you, sorry I have lots of work to do, but don't worry I have understood, you don't have to worry."
jay got up and started to move toward her room her fist clenched by her side her breaths coming in high and low…
"JAY…" without turning her back jay stopped stunned by the loud shout…
" Jay… we've confirmed your betrothal."
Jay blinked and turned .
"You... What?"
Her mother looked down.
Jay held the sofa beside her and then losing her balance suddenly fell on it … so suddenly that the couch creaked beneath her.
"Mother!!!"
The room rang with the sound of her cry.
Her mother flinched but didn't stand. "Jay, please. Listen—"
Jay snapped, her voice trembling. "what did you just say? What did you confirm???"
"jay listen to me", her mother insisted, rising slowly. "We need this. The man's family—he's from a strong background, and it will help us. Help you, too."
Jay's heart was pounding so hard that it hurt. "No. No, Mama. I'm not a pawn in your company's financial game. I'm not someone you get to trade."
Her mother looked stricken. "It's not like that—"
"Yes, it is! You made this decision without me. You didn't even ask."
"I thought you'd understand," her mother whispered.
Jay shook her head stood up and stepped back, her hands trembling. "I don't understand. I never will. I don't want to…don't talk to me about this again… I won't marry with your will like an animal sold for profits…"
And without waiting for another word, she turned and fled to her room, slamming the door behind her.
She stood there, in the silence, breath hitching. Alone again, surrounded by shadows. Unintentionally tears fell from her eyes… she put a hand on her chest… there was no pain but an invisible weight… her mother was calling after her from outside the room… "Jay, it's a good family, we haven't done it only for the company we have done it for you too…"
Jay closed her eyes as she tried to hide her face in her arms… she knew she had no reason to react so strongly, she knew this would happen to her sooner or later, but the current events especially how she was feeling distant how she was feeling awkward around her own family was actually what tearing her up from inside…
She raised her head… and looked around and suddenly remember… The button.
The mystery.
The dream
The boy.
And for the first time, she wondered—
If he took the button… would he come back for it? Can he take me with him? If anything maybe he is a good person… he took me to the hospital … can he save me from this….can he take me somewhere? Can he help me escape? Can I ask him? Can I believe him?
Can i….
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