"Boy... that was a show. We were even called by the school. I swear to God, for a moment I thought I was going to have to pay the Violet family for a new carriage. That girl was screaming like she was dying." said my father, and I almost choked on my shame.
My face must have been as red as hot coals. He spoke as if he was talking about a business dinner, not about... that.
Rillan had that proud look that only a very inconsequential or very crazy father would have. And, well, mine was both.
"I'm thinking of contacting her parents. Maybe close a marriage alliance?" he continued, with a smile in his corner. "You're a bit taken with her, aren't you?"
He knew me too well. And I hated that, especially when he got it right.
"Hehe, the young master's going to marry the little redhead." muttered Doug, patting Rammal on the shoulder.
"Yes. She's small, but pretty. I'm even jealous." said Rammal, smiling like a professional sycophant.
I rolled my eyes, but my eyebrow was already furrowed.
"Don't do that yet." I said, more seriously than I expected to sound. "I want to wait a little longer. See how far it goes."
My father raised an eyebrow, analyzing me as if I had said something unexpectedly sensible.
"You got pretty suspicious after what those two did to you, didn't you?"
The words felt heavy, and the other two stopped smiling.
"Just in case. I've never dealt with a woman like Victoria before. Vomiting on her was strange... but at the same time, it was liberating. I don't know. I can't get carried away. Do you remember how it was with Joana?"
"I see..." muttered Doug, more restrained now.
"Are you going to give up?" Rammal asked.
I stared at the floor for a moment, gasping for air. The memories of everything I'd experienced with her - her eyes, her moans, the silent moments between one breath and the next - shuffled around inside me.
"I don't know... I'll try it. If I fall, all I have to do is get back up again."
We were silent for a moment. One of those rare moments when neither of us needed to say anything. Our gazes met and, without meaning to, discreet smiles formed.
I was changing. And they knew it.
Since that day, my relationship with Victoria has intensified.
We didn't wait until the end of school to repeat what we had done in the carriage.
We did it during.
Whenever there was a break between classes, an empty corridor, a storage room with the door closed... we would meet. And we devoured each other.
I didn't know I could transform myself like that. There was something about her that took me out of control. Sometimes it felt like we were two crazy rabbits, wandering around buildings, looking for any hidden space to relieve the tension between us.
The fear of being caught in public only made it more exciting. It was like a secret game between the two of us, and I felt alive. But this time, everything seemed different. There was no sign of insecurity or strangeness coming from Victoria. She was... perfect. She didn't care about my money, nor did she treat me like a disposable object. On the contrary - she spoiled me. Clothes, presents, little surprises.
And I let myself go. Little by little, step by step, I became attached. It was impossible not to get attached. How could I not feel something for a woman who made love to me all the time, as if the outside world didn't exist? And I foolishly thought that maybe... maybe it was love.
Then, one day, I came home smiling. One of those smiles that escape without permission, my face light, my heart even more so. I felt good. I felt... lucky.
But my father was waiting for me at the gate with a cold, hard expression. At that moment, my chest tightened. Something was wrong.
"Problems?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
He gave me a strange look. Almost with pity.
"Come on. I discovered something a few days ago... It's almost time." he said, and without giving me time to react, he whipped up his horse.
I rode on in silence, feeling a growing nervousness consume me with every step. The tension was suffocating. We didn't exchange a word until we reached a secluded corner of the city. A hidden garden. Too quiet. My father finally spoke:
"I asked two men to follow her. I thought there was something wrong with her behavior..."
My stomach churned. I began to understand, even before I saw.
That's when I spotted the carriage. I knew her. It was hers. Two guards were standing nearby, talking and smiling discreetly. And the carriage... was moving. Noisily. Up and down.
I froze.
The three men accompanying me remained silent. I understood. Everything. And at that moment, a sharp pain shot through my chest. It was like getting a blade between the ribs. It was worse than anything I'd felt with Alice or Joanna. It was... brutal.
I stood still in shock. My body refused to move. I felt the dizziness coming on, the blood draining from my face. At first, I denied it. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't what it looked like. But it was. Then came the rage. A blind rage that made me reach for the bow attached to the side of the horse.
And then I asked myself: what did I do wrong?
In the end, I could only sigh. I accepted it. There was nothing more to fight.
My gaze was blank. Heavy. Empty.
"Are you going to wait for the guy to come out and shoot him with an arrow?" I heard behind me.
I hesitated. The idea shot through me like a spark.
"Why? Because you fucked her? Leave it alone. May they be happy together." I muttered. I could barely stand up straight. I almost lay down on the horse, trying to contain the pain that was eating me up inside.
"You really liked her." Doug commented, as if he was only now realizing the depth of the damage.
"Yes..."
"So why did it take you a week to tell me?"
"We didn't know if it was right... You seemed so happy."
"Didn't you think I'd be devastated that you'd let me touch something filthy? I kissed that woman. My God, who knows where else she put her mouth?"
I shook my head, disgusted by the mental image. I'd been an idiot. A complete asshole.
In fact, the signs were there all along. I just refused to see them. The way she looked at other men. The loose comments. That time she suggested, almost jokingly, that we could have fun with other people. And I laughed. I thought it was just a silly tease. It was all there. Clear as day.
"So that was it? A carnal relationship?" I muttered to myself, as the memories ran over me.
From the beginning, Victoria had never been interested in me. Not in who I was. Not in who I was. She wanted my body. That was it. She never cared about my feelings, never thought about what would happen if I found out.
"Why don't you give her a chance? Maybe she likes you too, kid?" Doug suggested, seeing the sadness in my eyes.
But I wasn't the same anymore.
"Betrayal isn't a mistake, Doug. It's a choice. You can't force someone to be loyal. Either they are, or they aren't."
We were silent. They understood. Or they pretended to. And I... I just felt the emptiness growing in my chest, like a shadow.
I really liked her. Perhaps I was even beginning to love her. Every moment with her had been incredible.
But now I knew: it was all just an illusion.