Chapter 50 - The Place Called Home (5)
On the second day of his leave, it was time for Ernest to return to the Military Academy.
Because of this, Haires hoped that Ernest would make the most of this special day.
"You finally get a break, and you're satisfied with just this?"
"Of course."
All Ernest wanted was to stroll leisurely through the park near home.
"That's something you could never dream of at the Academy."
Ernest walked side by side with his father, smiling gently.
Seeing his son so relaxed, Haires nodded slowly in understanding.
"I see."
Father and son spent the morning walking through the park.
Afterwards, they had lunch at a nearby dining hall, and then wandered aimlessly around the marketplace for no particular reason.
"Oh, right."
During their walk, Ernest remembered the candy Robert had asked him to get.
He recalled it only after seeing candy for sale at the market.
After all, with his precious time off spent with his only family, there hadn't been a moment to spare thinking about trivial errands from someone like Robert.
"Did you want some candy?"
Haires noticed his son's gaze lingering on the sweets and asked.
Though he knew well that Ernest didn't care for candy, there was a subtle hint of curiosity in Haires's voice.
Ernest glanced up at Haires.
He gave a slightly shy smile.
"Could you help me?"
"How much do you want to take with you?"
With that one line from Ernest, Haires understood the situation perfectly.
So instead of asking "What do you want?" he asked how much candy Ernest planned to take back.
Since Ernest was returning to the Military Academy this evening, of course he wanted to buy the candy to bring it there with him.
Ernest didn't care for sweets himself, and while he'd gotten into plenty of trouble during his time at the Academy, he wasn't looking to break any rules.
During his life at the Academy, Ernest had made quite a few friends.
Among them was his very cheerful and good-natured roommate—and, on the flip side, there were fellows like Robert Jimman, who was known as the worst troublemaker.
Still, the only person Ernest would risk bringing contraband candy into the Academy for was Robert.
Haires couldn't help but wonder if Robert might be having a somewhat negative influence on Ernest.
But at the same time, he had to admit there were also undeniably good effects that came from Robert's friendship.
So, he decided to just let Ernest do as he wished.
"I'm not taking that much."
"All right, I understand."
Without hesitation, Haires walked over to the candy shop and bought candy for his son.
"I'd like to have all of these, please."
"Excuse me? All of these?"
"Yes, that's right. Roll it up flat like this."
Haires bought the entire length of candy before it had been cut, just as it was being pulled into a long rope.
The Merchant, though baffled, rolled up the uncut candy just as Haires wanted.
Candy is an expensive treat—made from costly sugar—so there was no reason for the Merchant to refuse when someone wanted to buy the whole thing.
"Make it a bit longer, please, but keep the width about this much. If it's too thick, it won't do."
"Hmm…"
Haires spread his fingers, showing the precise measurements he wanted.
The Merchant pressed and shaped the rolled-up candy skillfully to match Haires's detailed instructions.
"Will this do?"
"That's perfect. Exactly right."
Satisfied, Haires nodded at the flat, rectangular Candy Slab.
He paid for the rolled-up slab of candy—a pricey purchase—right then and there.
Then, rather oddly, he also bought a few of the small, pre-cut pieces of candy.
The Merchant grinned cheerfully as he accepted the payment and wrapped the candy in oiled, glossy paper before handing it over.
"Thank you for your business."
"Please come again!"
Haires handed the Candy Slab to Ernest.
Ernest looked flustered but took it carefully.
"…How am I supposed to bring this inside?"
Not only was it huge, but it was also quite heavy.
There was no way he could sneak it in.
"There's always a way."
Haires looked at his son with a faint smile.
They took their time strolling through the market before heading home.
Ernest kept an eager eye on Haires, curious to see how his father would hide such an enormous Candy Slab.
Once home, Haires went to the master bedroom and took a bag out of the wardrobe. It looked old, but it was an elegant bag—a wooden frame wrapped tightly in sturdy leather, finished with wax to make it shine. The bag wasn't very large, nor was it very thick. It was just the right size for packing a few simple belongings.
Click.
Haires opened the bag and spread it open. He hooked his fingernail into one corner of the bag, pressed down firmly, then pulled. After that, he pressed lightly on the bottom with his palm, pushing it toward the opposite side where the mechanism had been triggered with his fingernail. Just like that, the bottom of the bag slid out and detached.
"Hand it here."
"Yes."
Mesmerized, Ernest hurriedly handed over the Candy Slab at Haires's request.
Haires carefully placed the flat Candy Slab, still in its paper wrapping, into the secret compartment he had revealed, then closed it up by reattaching the bottom of the bag.
Click.
A hidden spring mechanism snapped into place, locking the bag's base firmly. It was flawless. Even someone as observant as Ernest wouldn't have noticed the secret compartment, even after knowing it existed.
"The method is just as you saw."
"Yes…"
Haires didn't bother explaining the specifics.
After all, sharp-minded Ernest would have figured out both the technique and the mechanics just by watching.
"It's been shaved down incredibly thin, hasn't it?"
"That's right."
In fact, Ernest realized not just that there was a spring mechanism inside but also that, to create this secret space, the wooden frame forming the main structure of the bag had been shaved down extremely thin on one side.
Tap. Tap.
Ernest tapped along the inside of the bag with his fingertip—then tried the outside.
To his surprise, the sound was perfectly even throughout.
Normally, you'd expect a hollow, echoing sound if there were a hidden compartment.
"There's almost no risk of anyone finding out. But just in case…"
Haires handed Ernest a small bag containing several candies he'd bought along with the Candy Slab.
"Take these with you, tell them honestly at the main gate that I gave them to you, and share them with the others."
Candy is a prohibited item at the Military Academy.
But a father, thinking of his son, slipped him some anyway.
The son, though he brought them, doesn't want to break the Academy's rules, so he simply takes the candies out and shows them honestly.
Since the father did it out of care, it wouldn't feel right for the guards to confiscate or take them away, and, seeing Ernest's honesty, they would probably find it commendable.
Plus, though there aren't many, there are just enough that it would be awkward to ask him to eat them all right there on the spot.
Late in the evening, the soldiers of the Academy's guard, exhausted and bored, will gladly share and eat the humble treat together.
Afterwards, having split the candies Ernest handed over, it's unlikely anyone would still suspect him and start shaking out—or even breaking open—the bag that his father had used for years before gifting it to him, all in search of some secret compartment.
"The best way to hide something is to give them exactly what they want."
Haires imparted this wisdom to his admiring son. Although his expression wavered and looked a bit blurred, his eyes were locked firmly on his child.
"At the same time, the moment you achieve results is also when you must be most vigilant. If you get carried away by a small success, it often leads to a big failure."
"Yes, Father. I'll always keep that in mind."
It was rather a grand discussion for something as trivial as sneaking candy into the Military Academy.
Haires and Ernest shared a small laugh at their minor act of rebellion.
Ernest then transferred his belongings into Haires's bag.
The bag wasn't all that big, but since Ernest had packed so little, there was actually room left over.
"That bag is yours now"
"What? Are you sure? What about your bag, Father?"
"Don't worry—I have plenty of other bags besides that one."
Haires gifted his bag to Ernest. Ernest beamed and hugged the bag tightly—a bag his father had used for years before giving it to him as a present.
"Thank you! I'll take good care of it!"
"It's an old thing, so just use it however you like."
"No, I could never do that. Someday, I'm going to pass this bag on to my own son. Just like you did!"
Hearing Ernest's bright-eyed declaration, Haires absentmindedly traced the old scar on the back of his left hand with his fingertips.
Looking down at his young son, he gave a small nod.
"...If you do that, Ernest, I'd be very happy."
Ernest, so excited that he could hardly stand still, couldn't quite tell if the expression on Haires's face was a smile or something else.
After that, the father and son sat together in the living room, sharing stories as they passed the time.
Later, after eating the dinner Haires had prepared, Ernest changed back into his cadet uniform to return to the Military Academy, and together they left the house.
"Do you really like it that much?"
"Yes!"
Even in the carriage ride back to the Military Academy, Haires quietly watched Ernest, who couldn't stop touching and admiring his new bag.
Ernest acted as if that old bag were some priceless treasure.
It was summer, so the days were long, and even when the carriage arrived at the front of the Military Academy, the sun had yet to set. But since it was hanging so precariously above the buildings, it wouldn't be long before it finally did.
Ernest and Haires paid their fare and got out of the carriage. The coachman cast a few furtive glances at Haires, but Haires didn't spare him a single look.
The carriage promptly left in search of more passengers.
"Ernest. Take care of yourself," Haires said to his son in a quiet voice.
"Yes, you too, Father," Ernest replied, hugging his father's bag tightly.
Then, with a smile, he added, "Before my first year is over, I'll earn another five merit points and come home again."
"We'll see. I've never heard of a cadet being allowed out twice in one year."
"But I already earned five merit points before spring was over."
"That was only because the trouble you and your friends caused happened to work out in your favor, wasn't it?"
"Are you going to do the same thing again?"
"...I did actually earn two of those points properly."
Ernest mumbled under his breath at his father's valid point.
Seeing this, Haires's fingertips trembled for a moment.
He slowly lifted his hand and, after hesitating briefly over Ernest's shoulder, gently placed it there instead of on his son's head.
"Yes, I really believe you'll do well, wherever you are, Ernest."
Ernest looked up at his father and smiled.
Determined not to betray that trust, Ernest was resolved to work even harder.
"See you next time."
"Yes, I'll write you a letter."
"I'll be waiting."
Ernest walked toward the wide-open main gates of the Military Academy, waving to his father as he went. Haires raised his hand a little too, waving it in an awkward but heartfelt farewell.
Clang!
The gate closed.
Haires quietly watched his son through the bars.
He watched as the boy, following his father's example, spoke with the soldiers at the gate, took out the bag of candy, shared it with them, and then, catching sight of his father still watching from outside, smiled and waved again.
Ernest, safely carrying the bag with the large Candy Slab inside, made his way back to the dormitory.
Even as he walked toward the dormitory, Ernest kept looking back, waving to Haires through the bars.
Each time Ernest looked back, Haires waved his hand in return.
Eventually, Ernest disappeared completely from sight.
By then, the sun had set, and dusk was slowly creeping along the ground.
Standing with his arms hanging at his sides, Haires felt the shadow of his own back embrace him.
He watched as the slow yet unrelenting darkness, unavoidable and certain, slipped past him and stretched toward the place where the boy had vanished.
And when everything was finally consumed in pitch blackness, Haires slowly lowered his head to look down at the ground.
He tried to make out his own shadow in the darkness, but no matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't distinguish it.
"······."
Haires slowly raised his hand.
Just as he had done for his son, he waved to his own shadow.
In response, his shadow waved back at him.
Even in the darkness, Haires could see his shadow moving clearly.
Even after the sun had set, the stifling summer air showed no sign of cooling and continued to torment the man, swallowed up by darkness.
Yet the man did not collapse in pain or despair—because, even amidst the darkness, he was still able to find his own shadow.
Step. Step. Step...
The man began to walk slowly through the street blanketed in darkness.
Not toward the house that the boy had lit up, but toward the Night Street of Grimm, the capital of the Empire, where the darkness that had swallowed him steadily seeped out.
Even in the darkness, the man could see his own shadow. However, even he couldn't tell exactly where the blurred outline of his shadow ended and the darkness began
Soon after, the man drifted away into the darkness without making a sound, disappearing completely.
No one lit a light for him.
***
"Krieger. You're here a bit early."
"I have to unpack and, since it's so hot, I figured it'd be better to shower at the dormitory."
"Did you send your letters alright?"
"Yeah, I sent them as soon as I left yesterday."
"It looked like there were quite a lot."
"My father sent them right away. Since they went through the Imperial Postal Service, there shouldn't be any issues."
Ernest's classmates greeted him as he returned to the dormitory.
Chatting casually, Ernest headed toward his room.
"You look like you're in a good mood."
"Well, wouldn't you be after getting out of here and having some fun out there? If it were me, I'd be grinning from ear to ear and running around the place."
"I'd like to see that—go on, show us."
"I want to, believe me. Want to sell me your merit points?"
"If I could, I'd love to."
"How many did you get?"
"Exactly as many as you."
"Damn."
The cadets who hadn't earned a single merit point by the time summer arrived looked at Ernest, whose mood had visibly improved, with envy.
"Oh, look who it is! Isn't that our illustrious Teacher Ernest!"
Before Ernest could even make it into his room, he ran into Robert.
Exaggerating, Robert waved at him in greeting.
Ernest knew very well that Robert wasn't waving out of joy to see his friend.
What Robert really welcomed was the candy Ernest had brought back.
Feeling a bit mischievous, Ernest replied to Robert in a cold voice.
"I did exactly as you said, Robert."
"...Uh..."
Robert froze for a moment, his eyes darting around.
Soon, he realized what Ernest meant.
"You scoundrel, you Bereter!"
"If the Disciplinary Officer comes looking for you, just remember—you brought this on yourself."
"Then at least give me my share! I deserve at least that much!"
"Robert, do you really think he could bring that in? You got caught, didn't you?"
"This is unbelievable!"
"It's all your fault."
"Did you get any demerits? You didn't, right? Tell me you didn't!"
"I didn't get any."
"What about me?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"Aaaaargh!"
Robert, frustrated, messed up his hair in despair, not knowing what to do.
Ernest ignored him and strode off toward his room.
"Are you serious? Did you really sell me out, you Bereter?"
"You told me to do it, didn't you?"
"Then why didn't you get any demerits!"
"That's because I just told them the truth—I said I brought the candy."
"······."
Robert, who had followed Ernest into the room, froze at his words.
"So you're telling me that you brought the candy, handed it over without complaint, and then told them I made you do it?"
"That's right."
"You little—! No, wait. ······You little punk! ···No, you wouldn't—. You traitor! ······There's no way that's true!"
Robert yelled as if he'd lost his mind, then quickly grew calm as he mulled something over.
Then, deciding he couldn't just leave this Bereter-like guy alone, he got angry again, only to pause, think calmly, and then lose his temper all over again—he kept repeating this cycle.
After a moment of this crazed back-and-forth, Robert suddenly began speaking in a remarkably composed tone.
"Teacher Ernest. I am absolutely convinced that you would never do anything as low as that, just like a Bereter."
"Hmmm···."
"So, go ahead and share my portion with me. Hurry up."
Robert knew Ernest well.
If he did something, he'd make sure to cover his tracks completely, hiding even his wrongdoing.
There was no way this guy would suddenly repent and confess just to be forgiven for his sins.
"It seems you don't trust me, Student Robert. In that case, see for yourself with your own two eyes."
Ernest raised the bag he'd received from his father high in the air, almost as if to show it off. Robert's eyes locked onto the bag, burning with intensity.
Ernest opened the bag, and its light clothes and miscellaneous belongings tumbled onto the floor with a clatter.
Like a madman, Robert dove at the items scattered across the ground, frantically digging through them.
"This can't be happening!"
Of course, Robert didn't find the salvation he was hoping for there. After all, God doesn't exist for Robert's sake.
"How! Teacher Ernest! Are you really telling me you've confessed and been absolved of all your sins?"
Robert, still crouched on the floor, looked up at Ernest—who continued to hold the bag aloft with a hint of pride—and delivered his dramatic line as if on stage.
"That's right, Student Robert. So—"
"You bastard!"
Just as Ernest began to speak, Robert suddenly sprang up from his crouched position and charged straight at him. Ernest could easily have stopped Robert, but to do so without dropping his father's bag would mean hurting Robert seriously—so he had no choice but to take the hit.
"Argh! You pervert!"
"Where is it? Where did you hide it!"
"I told you, I don't have it!"
"No way! There's no way you would confess your sins on your own! You wicked bastard!"
Robert started frisking Ernest, desperately trying to find the candy he thought was hidden. But as soon as Ernest carefully set his father's bag on the ground, he flipped the situation in an instant and had Robert pinned to the floor.
"Argh! This can't be happening! Give me my share right now!"
"...To think you'd go this far just for some candy... And what on earth do you think of me?"
"I'd sooner believe Wilfried walks around in just his shirt without a jacket than believe your nonsense about turning yourself in!"
"Hmm..."
Ernest let go of Robert, acknowledging that he had a point. As soon as he was free, Robert quickly rolled away from Ernest and jumped to his feet.
"But even if I really had brought candy..."
"See! You did bring it!"
"…But didn't it occur to you that if you talk to me like that, I might not want to give you any?"
"Oh, come on, I was just joking! Just joking. We're just having a bit of fun for the sake of our great Teacher Ernest, aren't we? Right?"
Robert immediately changed his tune, bowing and acting extremely friendly.
Ernest sighed, muttering complaints under his breath as he opened the secret compartment in his bag, took out a slab of candy, and tossed it to Robert.
"What's this?"
Robert inspected the hefty, hard slab wrapped in oiled paper, turning it over in his hands.
"It's your share."
With that, Ernest closed the secret compartment of his bag again. Robert glanced at it but didn't ask anything.
Robert placed the candy slab on the desk and, with great care, untied the string and peeled back the wrapper.
"…Teacher Ernest, have I ever told you how deeply I respect you?"
"I don't need your respect."
"Then… what do I have to do for you to give me this?"
"I told you, it's your share. It's mine too, for that matter."
"Yes!"
"Ernest! You're the best friend ever!"
Robert jumped up and down with joy. Right away, he grabbed the end of the rolled-up candy, snapped off a piece, and ate it.
"Sweet things really are the best…"
"I wouldn't go that far."
"No, I mean it—sweets are the best. Besides, you enjoyed them too after training, didn't you?"
"Well, that's true."
Normally, Ernest didn't have much of a sweet tooth, but after grueling training sessions, he always enjoyed the candy Robert gave him.
"You're the one who brought it in, so I don't know anything about it."
"Oh, of course, Teacher Ernest. Absolutely, sir."
They'd pretend that Robert was the one who brought in the candy. If they got caught, Robert would take responsibility. But Robert didn't mind at all.
After all, it was only because Robert pestered him that Ernest had brought the candy at all. On top of that, Ernest had brought far more candy than what Robert had given him. Not to mention, at the Military Academy, candy wasn't supplied at all—even though demand for it was clearly there. Within the Military Academy, candy is worth far more than its actual value.
Above all, since Ernest doesn't particularly like sweets, most of this stash would end up in Robert's mouth anyway.
Robert carefully wrapped the hefty slab of candy again in its wrapper, tied it firmly with string, then wrapped it once more using an extra sheet of paper. He then slipped it into his bag, crawled under the bed, and carefully hid it.
"Every time I see you, I think, you're really something else, aren't you?"
Ernest muttered as he watched.
After securing the bag's strap tightly around the bed frame, hanging the bag under the bed out of sight, Robert crawled out again.
"To receive such praise from Teacher Ernest—it's an honor."
"Good grief."
With enough candy to last until the end of the First Year, Robert was clearly in a fantastic mood.
Though Ernest grumbled a bit, laughing and bickering with Robert made him feel, more than anything, that he was truly back at the Military Academy.
The next day, Ernest finished his day of training in the best mood he'd had in a while, and as evening free time was winding down, he met up with Marie again.
"Hi, Marie."
"Hello."
In an unusually cheerful mood, Ernest greeted Marie first as he opened the door.
Marie gazed at him for a moment, then greeted him back.
After a short pause, Marie spoke in a soft, almost whispering voice.
"Did you manage to resolve the problem you couldn't avoid?"
Ernest gazed down at Marie. Unbeknownst to Ernest, in that moment he looked so much like his father it was almost uncanny.
"Yes, I managed it just fine."
Speaking in a calm voice, Ernest carefully observed Marie's expression.
"If you can't avoid it, do you really have to face it head-on?"
Marie asked. The freckles blooming across her small, pale face looked almost painful.
"Well…"
Ernest didn't know how to explain it to Marie, or even what to say. He himself had managed to solve things by facing them directly, but he couldn't claim that everyone could or should do the same.
Then, a thought occurred to Ernest.
"…Avoiding something, or even running away, can also be a way to solve a problem."
Ernest remembered how he had given up on a winnable battle during the first Mock Battle Training.
Thomas had scolded him, and the other cadets had acted as if his decision was completely baffling, but to Ernest, it had been the best tactic he could think of at the time. Even though 'Thomas, the Military Academy Instructor' had reprimanded him, 'Thomas, the Veteran Soldier' had praised Ernest's choice.
"So… um… unless it's a problem that you absolutely can't avoid, that might be okay. Sorry, that all came out a bit mixed up."
Even after saying it, Ernest couldn't quite organize his own thoughts. Offering perfect advice to an eleven-year-old girl who harbored so much hatred for her family that it bordered on murderous was something that fourteen-year-old Ernest simply couldn't manage. Even though Marie was thirteen.
"…Yeah."
Marie gave a tiny reply, her face scrunching ever so slightly. Now, Ernest could see a very faint smile hidden in Marie's expression.
He couldn't tell what effect his words had on Marie. But he figured it wouldn't be bad if they helped her, even a little. On the other hand, he also wondered if maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all.
"Well, do your best tomorrow, Marie."
"Okay. You too, Ernest."
But beyond that point, it wasn't Ernest's place to interfere—nor did he want to—so he simply offered Marie his usual words of encouragement and let her go.
Marie, too, left Ernest's room quietly, just as she always did.
If it's a problem you absolutely cannot avoid, then one day, you have to face it.
But if it's a problem you can avoid, then maybe just running away can also be a way to solve it.
Running away might be just another way to face and resolve a problem head-on.
If you could leave for good and never have to face it again, wouldn't that be enough?
Marie mulled over Ernest's muddled words, turning them over and over in her mind to piece them together.
"If you can't, you will become perfect strangers…"
She softly repeated the words Ernest had said.
"You could become perfect strangers…"
This time, she reworded it.
And then, Marie felt as though the painful gaze of those painful memories, stuck deep inside her and always staring at her, was finally starting to fade away.
Walking along a road shrouded in darkness, Marie stopped and looked back.
She gazed up at the dormitory where Ernest was, then dropped her head once more and continued on her way.
"If I could just be alone."
The girl murmured again.
"If I could really be okay on my own."
Wouldn't that be enough?
At the Military Academy on a summer night growing ever deeper, a girl so used to loneliness that she no longer remembered what it meant, made up her mind as she walked through the shadows that silently trailed after her.
The indifferent night had no intention of stopping and simply kept on walking, endlessly.