From the depths of the scorched crater, the Guardian rose.
A towering humanoid, forged from crystal and inscribed with golden runes that pulsed like a heartbeat. Its core shimmered with light from a forgotten age, and flame licked across its joints as if it were born from the sun itself.
Zane blinked up at it. Then crossed his arms.
"Okay… so let me get this straight."
The Guardian let out a thunderous growl, drawing energy into its fists, preparing to pulverize the annoying mortal who had just disrupted its centuries-long nap.
Zane took a step forward and pointed dramatically.
"You are stupid."
The Guardian paused. Slightly.
"Like—actually stupid," Zane continued, voice rising. "You're telling me that your seal, your big majestic 'I guard this ancient magic' seal… was a freaking tree. In the middle of a desert."
The Guardian cocked its head slightly, confused. No one had ever spoken to it like this. Ever.
Zane kept going.
"You could've been a statue. A sword in stone. A cursed oasis. Literally anything but a tree."
A dramatic pause.
"I've had beef with trees since the beginning. First one tried to trip me. Second tried to eat me. So honestly, this isn't my fault. This was just bad life choices on your part."
Link hovered nearby, silent, stunned.
Nyx simply whispered, "Oh no."
"And second," Zane said, raising a finger, "I don't have time for this. I've got two more artifacts to find, people to ignore, and a destiny to accidentally fulfill."
He gestured casually at the glowing titan.
"So here's what we'll do. You forget I destroyed your weird leaf disguise, and you go back into the ground and nap for another thousand years. Sound good?"
The Guardian's response?
It roared, raising one massive crystal fist overhead, flame coiling around it, runes blazing like a miniature sun.
Zane sighed. "Why is no one ever reasonable?"
The fist came crashing down.
Zane didn't move.
Instead, the ring on his finger—the Ring of Auric Dominion—flared with violet light.
Time bent.
The desert air thickened. Sand froze mid-swirling. The world slowed to a syrupy crawl.
Zane tilted his head and watched as the Guardian's fist crept toward him at the speed of a lazy tortoise.
"Oh no," he muttered. "An angry light bouncer is trying to smoosh me. Whatever shall I do."
He stepped to the side leisurely, pulled back his arm, and gathered Void energy into his hand. The shadows hissed and surged as his eyes gleamed with a faint red hue.
A blade of darkness formed. Thin, sharp, absolute.
"Nighty-night, glowing piñata."
With one clean motion, Zane slashed upward.
The blade didn't just cut through the Guardian.
It cut through reality.
Time snapped back to normal with a crack, and the Guardian froze mid-punch. A glowing line appeared across its chest and shoulder, searing with Void energy.
Then—
Boom.
It shattered. Crystal shards exploded outward like fireworks, turning into harmless light before they could hit the ground. The desert fell still again, eerily silent.
Zane dusted off his hands. "See? Told you we could settle this peacefully."
Link blinked. "You obliterated a cosmic guardian…"
"Gave him a nap he'll never wake up from," Zane corrected. "That's basically mercy."
Nyx spoke in his mind, sounding slightly impressed. That ring lets you touch time. But combining it with your Void affinity? That's dangerous.
Zane stretched. "Yeah, well. So am I."
He looked to the horizon, his smile returning. "Two more artifacts to go."
Then he turned away from the glowing crater—unbothered, unapologetic, and entirely too powerful for someone who still called ancient entities "glowing piñatas."