It's already been a week since I transferred to the M&A department. These days have been busy handling a live deal that came out in the second teaser.
"Sean, here."
This guy with thick glasses is Ranton, an analyst assigned to me by Pierce. You could say he's my personal Excel slave, my own Dobby.
"Already done?"
"This is nothing, pretty standard."
To have results in just two hours… definitely fitting for a third-year analyst.
'His hands sure are quick.'
A third-year analyst is rare. Most analysts are on two-year contracts. When that contract ends, there are two choices: get promoted to associate and stay at Goldman, or switch to a private equity or hedge fund. But a third-year analyst? That means they're skilled enough that Goldman wants to keep them around, but not political enough to get promoted.
'Not a bad lineup.'
– Or at least that's what I thought until just last week.
Flap, flap!
I flipped through the printouts, scowling unintentionally.
"I thought I told you not to include antidepressants in the comparison group?"
"There are too few comps, so to show meaningful numbers, we should include at least 15 in the comparison group."
He snaps back at my criticism. This is the problem. My Dobby doesn't listen.
"Didn't I clearly explain why antidepressants shouldn't be included?"
"Well, that's not how you do comps."
To buy or sell a company, you need to determine its value, a process called valuation. The comp Dobby is arguing about stands for comparable analysis, a comparative evaluation method. The comp I requested is the similar company comparison method…
Basically, it's a project to create a "cousin" of NetPlus. A process of insisting, 'Since my cousin makes money, I'll make the same.'
I told him to stick to fourth cousins, but Dobby is insisting on including sixteenth cousins. I've repeatedly ordered him to leave them out, yet here he is, sneaking in eighth cousins.
"Didn't I say? While this drug is branded as an antidepressant, the real aim is Alzheimer's."
"Still, if we only include Alzheimer's, there are too few comps. It weakens the grounds for the evaluation value."
I can understand where he's coming from. Externally, I'm a first-year newbie, and he's a senior who's been grinding in this field for three years. But I'm not an ordinary first-year. I'm a unicorn with miraculous accuracy, and Pierce granted me immense privilege.
Yet, he's constantly trying to assert dominance over me like I'm any other rookie.
'No wonder he wasn't promoted.'
I've tried explaining it nicely, but he just doesn't get it. By this point, I'm starting to get genuinely annoyed.
"Phew…"
As I hold my throbbing head, I hear a snicker from behind me.
"Complete associate material."
This is why Dobby acts up. I've got a huge target on my back in this department. From the moment Dobby was assigned to me, every associate in the M&A department was giving me deadly glares. What they thought was a hardworking Excel slave turned out to be a rival—no, a miracle unicorn rival with a fast-track promotion.
Who would like that?
'Should I put him in his place just once…'
I feel a bit annoyed. Dealing with these guys is like getting into petty ranking battles with rookies. Spending my valuable time on such nonsense feels like a waste. But if I keep ignoring their sarcasm, Dobby's defiance only grows.
"Then let's compromise like this. I'll make the adjustments here, and you can do it your way. If 15 isn't meaningful enough, then why not go for 30, 40, or even 50 similar industries and get those numbers."
If Dobby wants to work more, I might as well let him. What else can I do?
"You want it to look credible, right? Go ahead, try it."
Dobby's pupils are visibly shaking. I've just piled a load of work on him. Plus, he must have realized by now that all his hard work is likely to end up in the trash as soon as he hands it in. After repeating this a few times, he'll eventually understand: if he doesn't listen to me, his body will suffer for it.
'Has Si-heon mellowed out a lot.'
Well, I've decided to live a kind life this time around. There's no guarantee I'll come back to life again if I die.
Just then.
"Sean."
Jeff, who was passing by, called me and nodded towards the conference room, signaling me to follow him.
As soon as I entered the conference room, Jeff tossed a small notebook onto the table.
"Anything here catch your eye?"
This was because of the second condition I laid out for Pierce: 'Once a month, I get to choose the project I want.' Technically, this is overstepping, since staffing assignments are the VP's authority, which explains Jeff's sour expression.
"Excuse me."
I quickly skimmed the list in the notebook. Three small, unremarkable companies with no clear identities. None of them were the kind of project I wanted.
"I'll follow whatever staffing you assign."
I returned the notebook to Jeff as politely as possible. One must be careful when exercising a privilege; if it's not overwhelming authority, using it too often only breeds resentment. It should be saved for when it's really needed.
"Leaving it to me, huh…"
Jeff's mouth twisted.
"Then why did you attach that condition in the contract?"
"It was just in case a deal appears that only I could see."
"In that case, you'll be in charge of bio-pharma pitches for the time being. Any objections?"
"No, sir."
When I accepted his directive with utmost respect, Jeff's hostility slightly lessened. He seemed to go from 'should I kill him now' to 'should I kill him later.'
Still, I couldn't just ignore my rights just because of his hostility.
"Sorry, but could you continue sharing the list regardless?"
Looks like getting close to Jeff will be tough. After a few scoffs, Jeff spat out his next sentence as if he was spitting out bile.
"Remember, the choice doesn't roll over to the next month."
Back at my desk, I took a moment to think.
'No rollovers…'
This means I must use my project selection right within the month. It makes sense; if I saved up choices and used ten all at once, the team wouldn't function properly. In other words, I'll need to exercise my first right within the next three weeks.
'Time to start looking for my next prey…'
For the first week, I decided to observe the situation. I planned to grab one of Pierce's existing deals if something promising came up, but so far, nothing has.
There's no guarantee that something useful will come along within three weeks. So, I have to take the initiative. Instead of just waiting for Pierce to bring deals on his own, I need to make him bite on the deals I want.
'What kind of project should I choose…?'
There are so many options that it's hard to pick. For now, I've set three main criteria.
One, a well-known project. Like the big clash between Pierce and Rhino, this would mean getting involved in a high-profile project.
Two, a project related to a famous company or a major investor. This is to propose a deal that gives me an excuse to approach people whose connections I want to build.
And three, a project that offers plenty to learn. This would mean joining a project where I can learn how to deal with companies through financial means.
'The last one is the most tempting…'
A place filled with conflict between management and investors. In such a place, I'd like to gain plenty of indirect experience in seeing how investors can financially discipline a company that doesn't listen. I didn't get much exposure to this in my previous life.
The problem is that finding such a battlefield isn't easy. Fights between management and investors usually happen in boardrooms and are rarely made public.
Not that there aren't any methods…
At exactly 6 p.m., I approached Dobby. I was close, yet he didn't turn around.
"What's that?"
I pointed to the numerous toy models displayed on Dobby's desk, but he replied, without looking at me, as if he couldn't be bothered.
"Can't you tell? They're deal toys."
A deal toy is a kind of trophy. When a deal is successfully closed, they make a small commemorative item and distribute it to employees. The more of these you have, the more live deal experience you can prove. In investment banks, it's customary to display these trophies at one's desk.
"Can I take a look?"
I picked up the deal toy placed in the most noticeable spot. It looked like a gas station model, with the following engraved on a small plaque:
To commemorate the split of Valerengi and the birth of the CST brand
(Goldman Saxon) (Valerengi) (CST)
January 28, 2013
I hadn't heard of this company, but if it's displayed so prominently, there must be a reason.
"Valerengi?"
No response.
But then,
"Sean?"
Right on time, Rachel appeared behind me. I had invited her to join our department for takeout tonight.
"Shall we order?"
Rachel asked with a bright smile.
'She's excited.'
Lately, our princess has been quite happy. She seems to enjoy the new career path I set for her, coming back from client meetings with all sorts of stories to share. With such a lovely princess grateful to me, why not enjoy it?
"Could we hold off on ordering for a bit?"
"Pardon?"
It was only then that Rachel noticed the gas station model in my hand and tilted her head in curiosity.
"What's that?"
"A deal toy. It looked interesting, so I was checking it out. Do you happen to know a company called Valerengi?"
"No? What kind of company is it?"
"It… it's an oil company," Dobby stammered, looking down at his desk.
He then let out a sigh and began speaking in a lamenting tone.
"This was one of those deals that nearly killed me. It's an oil company, but we had to carve out only the retail division to turn it into a convenience store chain."
Just as I thought—it worked. Men naturally want to brag about their accomplishments in front of women. Dobby, being a man himself, must want to play the hero in front of Rachel.
"One of the major shareholders made such a fuss that we had to separate the retail division for risk management…"
He started sharing some pretty interesting information. It turns out the company aggressively expanded into new regions, but a major shareholder opposed this move. They pressured the CEO to at least manage risks if they insisted on continuing, so the CEO agreed and carved out only the convenience store business to create a separate brand.
'These are the kinds of places with a lot to learn.'
This is an example of investors disciplining a company with money. Not bad, though… a larger, well-known company would be even better than some obscure oil company.
"Oh, you must've worked hard on that."
"Haha, seriously… it almost killed me. So many all-nighters…"
As Rachel sympathized, Dobby looked delighted, as if he could die happy. Meanwhile, I scanned the department. The backs of people all around seemed to be pleading, 'Please come check my stuff.'
I approached the desk with the most deal toys displayed.
"Mind if I take a look?"
Though he wasn't particularly fond of me, the senior quickly leaned back, making his trophies easier to see. Rachel was next to me, after all.
"Wow, you've got a lot of deal toys!"
"Haha, had quite a few live deals last year."
While Rachel was distracting him, I picked up each deal toy, checking their names. Finally, I found one that interested me: a unique model shaped like a lens case.
To commemorate the merger of Valerengi and Boschromes
(Goldman Saxon) (Valerengi)
May 17, 2013
'This is…'
Not bad. Valerengi is a company that would cause a huge scandal two years later in 2015. A famous incident, a famous investor, a battlefield—it met all three of my criteria.
'I can't use it right now… but…'
It'll be perfect to jump into around next year. A piece of prey from which I can extract everything, including the bones and marrow. Maybe I should start gathering information early.
"Valerengi is a pretty hot company these days, isn't it?"
"Oh, you know it? Yeah, its growth has been rapid. The CEO has an aggressive expansion plan, and he's a former McKinsey consultant, so he knows his stuff…"
"McKinsey?"
"Yeah, he was so capable that a client recruited him as CEO. He's got guts…"
As Rachel encouraged him, the senior seemed ready to spill everything, right down to the internal details about the CEO's temperament and ridiculous demands.
'This is too easy.'
I just need to gather information this way for two weeks and then pick a suitable project in the last week. Simple enough, but to stick to this timeline, I'll need Rachel's cooperation.
After dinner, I escorted Rachel to the elevator and began my prepared speech.
"Thanks for coming today. To be honest, it felt a bit lonely eating by myself."
I said this with the saddest expression possible. Since I'd been subtly whining about how the seniors didn't like me and were giving me the cold shoulder, Rachel would understand the meaning.
"I think I'll have to eat in the department for a while because there's so much work… Would you mind joining me tomorrow if you're free?"
"Won't it look strange if I keep going to another department?"
"They seemed to like it, actually. But… if you're uncomfortable, please forget I asked."
"No, I'll come tomorrow if I can."
As expected, our princess has a kind heart. There's no way she'd abandon a poor, ostracized orphan.
I was pleased everything was going smoothly, but there was an unexpected side effect to this plan.
When I returned to my desk, a guy approached me and asked, "Is Rachel seeing anyone?"
The bugs are starting to swarm.