I woke up.
I feel like my ego—or rather, the Atman, unfolded on the outside—is slowly perishing.
Or perhaps the correct term is assimilation.
I am becoming human and also becoming illusory.
What a tragic world.
In this world, when you're confined to sensory apparatus, everything is binary. Everything clashes.
To fell a man, you must prepare to be fallen.
To gain, you must lose.
That is the cost of a living for free.
The benefits in the world are in abundance.
I'm a greedy man...
Well—I just woke up and I want some breakfast.
Literally though. I'm starving.
It must be this piece-of-shit fruit...
Thales slithered out of bed.
He had become rather independent.
He felt comfortable, for he knew what the trials were now—but the new uncertain variable was this fruit.
How does one climb the ladder of Dasein? I wonder...
Thales went to wash his face. He saw Edmund.
"Young Master Thales, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Edmund, I appreciate the education I receive—or rather, the freedom to educate myself—but outside of the wisdom you impart on me and the wisdom I gather through my unique set of life experiences... how does one become a complete individual if they aren't as apt as me?
Do they just flail around like a fish, or do they helplessly wither away into nothingness?
Do they live only to serve, to boost the quality of another?"
Edmund stroked his beard, constantly in awe at the boy's intelligence.
Even by the world's standards, it was abnormal.
"You don't understand, Young Thales. I myself do not understand the struggle of life—or rather, why, despite such abundant resources and creativity, a second world inside, and still... innocents suffer.
Misguided fools devour the weak.
They are strong only in name—only because violence disregards morality for the present moment.
Influence is another form of violence.
Those that are not for Libra's laws wield them for their own self-pleasure and their chains of ignorance.
Not entirely their fault, but... I am no extremist.
Why couldn't you have just said hello?"
"You see, young Thales," Edmund continued, "I do not believe the world is too kind.
Or rather—it lacks such anthropomorphism entirely.
God died because of man's pursuit of freedom.
In such liberty comes great responsibility, but we men... are just confused.
The Creator is all-loving—but equally, man's problems at the microcosmic scale are his own.
I believe, as men, we should all focus on the progression of the race and compassion for our brothers and sisters.
But inequality is a void that sinks deeper and deeper.
It is inherent, for it must be—if everyone was the same, everyone would be all and nothing more."
Thales stared at Edmund.
His eyes seemed to light up.
"Thank you, Edmund-sensei. You're as wise as always.
I will burn such information into my mind's eye.
And I don't know why, but... to be honest, what you said made me sad for the past, and happy for the future.
Even though I'm so young—albeit precocious."
"Good boy."
The old butler bent down and patted his head affectionately.
Then Thales moved away to continue his day.
"Beato, so... yeah, when is this fruit able to be used?"
"Use the fruit?" she said almost mockingly.
"You don't use it. You already ate it, idiot.
You need to control your vital energies and move them to bring out your Umwelt.
I do wonder what it is though."
"Oh, my bad. Uh... what do I do with an Umwelt or whatever?"
"Probably meditate on your experience and start painting on the canvas."
"What do you mean, painting on the canvas?"
"No—what do you mean, painting on the canvas?
When you connect your spine, brain, and gut, and meditate on your trial, do you not see a white void and have colours of certain spiritual quality, and you can walk on a branch and shape them?"
"I was joking. You're weak. You have no Umwelt.
But same thing—your Hegemony Elysium. It's in flux.
But yeah, you should see it there for now.
I doubt it will become a Pure Land," she said with a teasing voice.
"What is a Pure Land?"
"This is where you merge the alien, blinding Outside with the mirror reality Inside and cultivate it to its max.
You realize your true craving in spiritual reality."
"What do you define as the spirit?
I don't believe in an external self."
"What do you mean you don't believe?"
"We are just meat-puppets.
So unless spirit is a type of material property of reality, I don't believe it."
"Oh, how boring.
And you're wrong.
Without the spirit, we have no beauty—and we crave not The Mystery, but cyclical suffering.
I assure you.
Someone told me that once, I think."
"You just spit out whatever people tell you?"
"No. I think on it myself and see if it makes sense.
But it is intuitively true."
"Intuition can be deceived.
Intuition is the unconscious emergence of thought constructed from knowledge and experience upon reflection."
"No, it's so much more—but it is irrelevant.
Shut up and go access your Hegemonic Elysium so you can at least start to climb."
"Yeah, yeah. So I just... deeply focus?"
"No. You become aware of what you are.
Be mindful—but also love and be kind to yourself, or you may not have a good time."
"To myself?
What a funny thing. The self doesn't exist—merely patterns."
"You think it's mechanical too?
Then we are no different from machines."
"Fleshy machines, sure."
"It seems convenient for you.
I don't know why or even how, but... I know."
I ignored her and just started doing this bullshit.
I shut down my nervous system carefully and rebooted it after brief breath cycles.
The air flowed through my entire bodily experience—consciously.
My eyes were shut, and I saw not blackness but nothingness. A void.
Where was this canvas?
I did see a branch though.
I recalled my memories of the trial.
I didn't try to control them—I just let them wash over me like a river without action.
I saw something.
It was a spiral dragon.
I sat upon its back and rode it linearly.
It was a picturesque moment.
This invisible dragon...
I woke up.
Everything was at a snail's pace.
"Hey Beatrix, throw a punch at me. I won't dodge until you get right to my face."
I saw it.
She feinted twice and threw a kick.
How cheeky.
With my small frame, I barely dodged right as I said.
"How?"
"Seems I have precognition.
Makes sense. I'm only human—I can see a few moments into the future."
"No...
How did you create an Umwelt so quickly?
What experiences did you have in that place?"
"Thales...
What are you?"