The banquet hall was filled with nobles all dressed to the high. I had thought I would be out of place in my glamorous gown but I'm glad everyone else is dressed to impress too.
The hall went silent as we made our entrance.
"Thank you all for coming to our banquet, on such short notice. Join me to welcome lord oliver Leandros and lady Isabella leandros back to runan."
The crowd erupts in cheers as they lift their wine glass.
"I would also like to introduce you all to my wife the duchess, lady clarisa Leandros " he turned to me, smiling
"Greetings distinguished nobles of runan, I am duchess clarisa Leandros and Its an honor to make your acquaintance. Thank you all for coming to our banquet, I hope you all have a lovely time tonight" i tried to keep my voice steady and I'm so glad i didn't stutter. The music started playing, Isabella and Oliver moved to the dance floor to start the first dance. As people began walking up to me to introduce themselves.
It showed me the huge difference between clarisa dumont and clarisa Leandros. Clarisa dumont was just a puppet for count dumont who had no value, which was why no one approached me in the past, but now as a duchess people had allot to gain from getting closer to me. Even knowing this, it still feels nice for people not to avoid me like I'm some sort of plague stinking up the party.
"My dear, would you like to have a dance with me?" He was smiling as he extends his hands to me.
"It would be a pleasure my love" i grabbed his hand and he kissed it, then he led me to the dance floor.
"Dont be too disappointed if i step on you my love, i'm not that great of a dancer" he spun me around smiling as we danced.
"You can step on me as much as you want dear, dancing with you is everything I ever wished for" i could feel eyes on me but all I could think of in this moment were his eyes on me, his hand on my waist, his arm that leads me through this complicated dance, his eyes that never failed to look straight at me and the fact I know it's all mine. Right now i don't want to think about the eyes of the people following us, i just want to think of this man filled with affections in his eyes for just me.
Everyone keeps talking about how much theo loves me, at first I thought they were just being generous with their praises but I could tell from tonight, although he was surrounded by a crowd of people at all times his eyes still managed to find me and give me his reassuring smile. It made me feel like the most beautiful woman at the ball, it made my heart flutter. Even if i tried to go back now, I think it's too late I've fallen too deeply in love with him. Even if i get hurt in the end..... even if he ends up becoming the poison in my chalice..... I would happily drink it, lost in this happiness.
Who knew being the duchess at a party would be so exhausting? Theo did tell me i could ignore the nobles if I wanted to but I couldn't do that even if i tried to. Oliver looked like he would rip the head off anyone who talks to him so everyone has been actively avoiding eye contact with him and isabella was immediately surrounded by people the moment her dance with him was over, she feels like a buffer between him and the world.
I need a break, I should let theo know where I'm going to but he looks so busy so I'll just get a bit of fresh air on the balcony before coming back in.
Being inside for so long I forgot it was still winter, the air was cold and dry, which made it hard to breathe. The door behind me open and I spun around ready to give the person and ear full for walking onto a balcony that was occupied.
"My dear, it's cold put this on" he must have seen me walking out of the party and gotten worried. He wrapped his jacket around me and wrapped me in his arms.
"What did you want me to put on the jacket or you?" He grinned, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"I would happily let you put me on any time you want dear" there is no way he doesn't know what he is saying, how can he be trying to seduce me any moment he gets. Well i wont complain as I like his arms around me.
"So..... did you enjoy the banquet?" I tried my best for it to be perfect, but I'm still worried I might have made a mistake.
"It was perfect my dear, everyone couldn't stop gushing over how beautiful and elegant you are." He leaned in kissing me on the lips, all day i was worried not to ruin my make up but right now all I want is him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in deepening the kiss.
"My dear... should we continue this upstairs?"his hand on my neck was heating me up and i could barely feel the cold.
"What about the banquet? We cannot just leave out guests alone my love" he smiled trailing kisses on me, before letting out a sigh. I place my forehead on his
"Just bear with it for a bit longer my love, and i'll be yours all night" I guess he must have liked what I said as his face lit up.
The banquet was a huge success. people were starting to leave one after the other, coming over to me to say a greeting before they exited.
"Your grace, please send us an invitation when you decide to throw a tea party. It would be an honor to be invited"
"Me too your grace, i would be grateful to be invited " allot of the other ladies also expressed interest. I'll need to remember their names and faces, if I want to invite them to a tea party. I'll also have to learn about their family's, so I won't be throwing a party anytime soon, sorry ladies.
"Of course, I look forward to seeing you all then. Thank you for coming tonight, I hope you have a pleasant trip home ".
I'm so glad the banquet ended without drama, I thought I would have to enter a battle of words like in the novels but nothing like that happened. It almost made my fear seem silly, because no one in their right mind would try to antagonize a duchess in a society where status was everything.
I wonder why those novels always made it seem like everyone would try to jump on you once you marry into an influential family? I had even prepared rebuttals if anyone dared to stand against me.
I can feel someone watching me, I turned around, it was theo. He was surrounded by people but his eyes were on me staring intently as he smiled, some of the ladies around me giggled as I tried to hide my embarrassment. I would be lying if I said I didn't like it, i love how his eyes trail after me and I love all his sides that only I have the honor of seeing. I love everything about him.
The banquet was over by 10pm, now it was time to have some alone time. I can't wait to fall onto bed and just sleep for hours. Who knew that my legs would give out once my anxiety was gone, first I need a bath
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! This feels so nice.
"You must have been so tensed all day your grace, your muscles are so stiff" Sarah and stella massaged my shoulders and arms.
"That feels so nice . Where is hannah?"
"I head that sir cavill got released today, so she took half the day off" thats true, I almost forgot about him. I asked to have him as my personal knight out of spite, but I'm regretting my decision now. I really don't want to have him around me, glaring at me with cold eyes.
"Her grace fell asleep" Sarah and stella stared at clarisa as she was slumped over in the tub in deep sleep.
"Ladies, what's taking you all so long..... oh dear" maria stopped as she soon as she saw the duchess asleep in the tub
"Madam Maria what do we do?" Stella had a mischievous glint in her eyes as she stared at the love bites all over the duchess's body.
"What if we informed his grace" maria smacked the mischievous girl as she giggled.
Knoc knock, I wonder who it is. I stopped by the office to check some documents before going to bed
"Your grace it's maria"
"Come in"
"I'm sorry to disturb you your grace, but her grace fell asleep in the tub and we couldn't wake her up." She must have been so tired after working so hard today.
"Thank you for letting me know, let's go"
She really was asleep in the tub
"Greetings your grace"
"Thank you both, you may leave now" I grabbed the towel from them.
"Have a great night your grace"
I lift her from the tub wrapping the towel around her.
I took a minute to admire the red marks i left on her body before i helped her into her night gown that was laid out. It felt really good to see my marks on her body. I pulled her into my lap as I helped her dry her hair, who knew those annoying task I did for mother would come in handy when taking care of my wife,
I should thank mother tomorrow.
"Mmmmmmmmm" her eyes opened slowly.
"Sorry my dear, I'll just help you dry your hair then you can go back to sleep" she wrapped her arm around my neck nuzzling into me.
I need to think innocent thoughts only, she is very tired so I need to let her rest, she kissed my neck trailing the kisses to my face.
"My dear..... let's not do this tonight, you are too tired" I tried to gently push her down but she wouldn't bulge
"I waited for you all day my love, i'm not too tired. Hold me my love" i really wanted to.... but her eyes were barely open and she looked like she would pass out with the slightest touch.
"My dear..... you need to rest" I gently set her down covering her up with the blanket.
She grumbled meekly before falling back to sleep.
"I'm sorry dear, I'll give you anything but your health comes first" I crawled into bed with her wrapping her in my arms, this much will be enough for tonight.
Had someone asked me before I got married if I would be this comfortable being in bed with someone else, I'd have thought they went insane. But having her in my arms just feels right, its almost like I was in a fairytale and she was my happily ever after.
"Clarisa, what do I need to do to have your heart?"
I kissed her forehead head. Do I deserve this happiness? But I'm a monster.... I shouldn't get greedy.... just being by her side should be enough.... but...but....
I didn't want to get greedy, I know what happens when I try to be happy so I thought just watching her from afar should be enough for me..... that much was fine..... I was fine seeing her radiant light.... I was scared.... because I know how it always ends... I know how fickle the words love and friendship are... so I wanted to keep her at a distance where I wouldn't hurt her..... where my existence wouldn't be a threat to her... a distance where she wouldn't see the monster i truly am... But what do I do now my dear..... I want more..... I want to hold you every night and hear you talk about your day. I want to be your strength where your legs fail you.... just laying beside you was once enough for me, but now I want all of you, your body and your heart.
I know she likes me but I don't think it's love yet. She said she never loved prince callus, which made me so happy but I want to win your heart my dear.....that way.... that way ..... I'll truly be happy.
Before I had realized it i was craving her, I always wanted to be by her side. I wanted to hold her, to touch her to love her and for her to love me.
At first I couldn't understand why I felt that way but now I know..... I fell in love with you at first sight my dear and had I known it would feel this good... had i known you would be my happiness and weakness.... I would have never let you be alone.
I'm glad you smacked me that day and you never gave up on me.
I would have regretted it for life if you weren't in my arms right now.