Cavill sat in his dimly lit bedroom as the door opened slowly, he didn't bother looking up as he already knew who walked in.
"I offended the duchess again and caused the duke and duchessto have a fight." he turned to Hannah as she walked slowly to him.
"Go on call me an idiot, shake me around, beat me even because I deserve it" she sat on his lap wrapping him in a hug.
"You may be an idiot, but you are my special idiot. So what did you do this time?" She didn't sound angry, her tone was calm and understanding. She knew her husband could be a handful but his intentions were always pure.
"I carried out an investigation on the duchess and when she found out it led to a fight between her and his grace" she was stroking his back lovingly as she could hear how much his actions saddened him.
"I always knew your devotion to his grace would make you blind. I understand where your fear is coming from honey, i was there too. I witnessed how much suffering his grace has been through, but even his grace is trying his best to move on" she played with his hair as she kissed him.
"But her grace looked so crushed.... my actions hurt her..... I..."
"Honey people make mistakes, I know the duchess, she may be mad at you now but she definitely understands that you foolish actions come from a place of love. Now you just have to spend the rest of your life atoning for your actions to the her grace." He nuzzled into her neck.
"What if she doesn't forgive me?... maybe i should resign as a knight...."
"Cavill do you remember when you thought i liked the baker downtown? You were ready to hand me off to him even though you knew how much you loved me. You put my happiness first even when you knew it would completely wreck you...It's okay to make mistakes honey, what's not okay is knowing you are making a mistake and still going forward with it because there is no clear answer In sight."
He had wrapped his hand around her leaning into her, as she continued to stroke his back trying to comfort him.
"Then what should I do?"
"Well, when there is no answer in front of you, its okay to stop and turn back. Apologize to her grace and his grace. It may take them some time but I'm sure they will forgive you." She clasped his face in her hand.
"Just stop being so nosy like you are in love with his grace or something. If you need someone to be devoted to then... devote the rest of your life to your son or daughter" her voice trailed off as she looked away.
It took him a few seconds to understand what she had just told him.
"I'm....going to be a father?" He questioned as his eyes filled with tears.
"Yes..... I found out yesterday and you are the first person I have told." He picked her up screaming in excitement as she squealed and he cried.
"I'm going to be a father..." he was screaming for the whole neighborhood to hear.
"Thank you.... thank you so much.... thank you for choosing me hannah.... thank you" he was still spinning her around as she laughed.
"Put me down you rascal." He set her down gently as he grabbed her hands kissing them and pressing them on his cheeks.
In the royal cementry, prince callus sits beside a headstone that read ' Here lies lady Auriel de Salum, who fought valiantly till her last breath'.
"Mother, i always wondered why you had to suffer, for years I blamed myself for it all. Had I not been born.... had you just abandoned me.... had I not been so weak.... then you wouldn't have had to suffer so much" he stroked the head stone weakly as he fought back tears.
"Count dumont finally died, I heard he passed away peacefully. He passed away peacefully...yet you had to spend the last years of your life In pain and agony because of him...yet...yet....yet..... he passed peacefully. " he had tried to hold it in but he couldn't stop crying.
Estella walked slowly towards him sitting beside him.
"Hello lady Auriel, I'm here to see you again. I've been keeping my promise to you and I'm taking good care of your son, so you can continue to rest peacefully."
Callus rested his head on hers shoulder as she wiped his tears away.
"Why is the goddess so unfair? Why do bad people get away with their crimes? What wrong did mother commit the live in so much pain in her last years?"
She had wanted to comfort him with words but even she didn't understand the will of the goddess.
"I was 15 when mother begged me to take her life, i watched her for years slowly wither away from the long term effect of the poison that monster fed to her, at first it was her ability to eat, then she could no longer walk, then breathing became a struggle. Everyday I would pray for her to get better while she prayed to be put out of her misery. When she asked to be saved, I just couldn't do it. I loved her so much.....I loved her so much.... so how could I.....how could I kill my own mother.....I hated seeing her suffering but I didn't want her to die.....I didn't want my mother to die"
Estella just sat beside him not saying a word, she knew what he needed wasn't comforting words but a shoulder to cry on and ears to listen.
"So i hated them, I hated the dumonts. I wanted them to suffer just as much as I did.....just as much as mother had to suffer... I didn't care if it was the count or his wife or his children, I just wanted one of them or all of them to feel as miserable as I did." He covered his face with his hands as he cried.
"How was i supposed to know she was suffering too? I put her through so much pain, i thought I was taking out my anger on the right person, I just wanted them to know that.....I wanted them to suffer. But.... just the way mother was suffering, so was lady clarisa. I took my anger out on someone who needed salvation... just like mother" estella had wrapped him into a hug as he cried in her arms.
"I made her suffer..... just the same way that monster made my mother suffer...so what makes me any different from him? He enjoyed torturing the weak, and i did the same thing to her. I knew she couldn't fight back so I made sure to hit where it hurt the most... I feel so sorry, but I know sorry will not undo the pain of the past 12 years..... estella what should I do? How do I fix my guilty heart?"
"You did what you thought was right with your limited information callus. To you the dumonts were the enemy so I understand your resentment. Now that you know the truth it's only fair to her that you try to fix things and if she doesn't want to, then you have no right to demand for more. I know it may sound like mere words and sorry may not fix things but it's a word to start with, she doesn't need to forgive you but she deserves to hear you apologize and make amends for hurting her all those years." Estella hoped that her words would bring a little comfort to him, in the end they all were victims of count dumonts tyranny. Each person just reacted in different ways, good or bad.
****************
Clarisa sat in the silence not knowing how to explain to father and mother all about her life.
"Its fine dear, I'll explain to my parents, so you can go back to the bedroom first to rest" she turned to theo in shock, as shock turned into anger.
"Why? Do you think they would doubt my story like you too?" She had screamed at him before realizing it.
"No dear that's not what I....."
"Fine, do as you wish" she had cut him off, standing up.
"I'm sorry mother and father, but can I return first?" Father and mother looked worried and wanted to ask questions but I was so grateful they didn't
"Yes dear let's talk tomorrow "
"Have a good night clarisa"
"Clarisa....." he tried to grab her hand but she slapped him off, storming out of the room and closing the door
How could he do that? Does he not trust me? So all that about having my back was it a lie? I'm not even sad, I'm so angry at him. If he was right here I'd shake him by his neck.
I dismissed Sarah and stella for the night after my bath. I had planned to have a good talk with theo but why did he do that with mother and father? I just can't understand his thought, why ask Cavill to investigate me? Why act like father and mother will not believe me if I told them the truth? I'm so angry at him for lying to me.
"My dear" I heard the door open and click shut. He sighed softly as he leaned against the door.
"I'm sorry..." i turned to look at him from the couch.....his face....his face was.... I sprang up from the couch and walked to him. What am I doing? Why am I hurting him? All we needed was a simple conversation and I know theo would have told me the truth, so why did I try to hurt him for what he did?
He had his head facing down as he bit his lips, his hair was disheveled like he had run his hands through them repeatedly, his eyes were red and puffy like he had cried and his hands were pale from being clenched too hard.
"I'm sorry... clarisa...." his voice cracked as he tried not to cry, I hugged him tight but he didn't move, he just kept muttering 'I'm sorry'. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to bed. I cuddled him tight on bed.
"Why are you sorry Theo?" He wrapped his hand around me pulling me tighter.
"I should have been the one to tell you the truth and not cavill." I stroked his back as he was starting to finally relax.
"And?"
"And you hated talking about count dumont, so I didn't want you to go through the pain again, that was why I wanted to be the one to tell the story to my parents.....I'm sorry..... I never meant to hurt you."
This loving fool, how could I even think of hurting this man, I must be the fool here.
"I'm sorry theo.... I should have let you explain yourself, I thought you didn't trust me, which was why you wanted to investigate and find out the truth" he nuzzled into my neck kissing me softly.
"If you told me to jump into a dark pit, I would do it without a second thoughts. That how much I trust you my dear, I have never once doubted a word you said to me."
I know it sounds crazy, but I feel so good hearing him say that. If he could see my face I'm sure he would be repulsed by my huge smile, I didn't want to admit it but, I might be the obsessive lover in our relationship.
I want to make this man mine, i want to make every part of him beg for me, crave me and want only me. I want to close his eyes so he sees no one else but me.
"Then if I asked you to take me all night" I held his face, staring into his eyes.
"I'll make sure you feel so much pleasure you never forget my touch against your skin" he kissed my lips and it could feel my whole body melt with his touch.