"Nanny, Nanny! how are babies made..?" I asked while stacking blocks in the middle of the living room.
I still remember those words I suddenly blurted out to my nanny when I was still a kid who didn't know anything about the world.
She was caught off guard and choked on her tea. She tried to change the topic right away but in the end, she sat beside me and explained.
"I guess it's time for Lucas to know, since he's already a big boy," she said as she picked me up and sat me on her lap. "You see, Lucas, babies are made when two grown-ups love each other. And their love grows into something strong that makes them want to have a baby together." She added while gently caressing my head with a soft smile.
My nanny was the sweetest. She was already quite old in her mid 60s, but despite that, she always took care of me like I was her own child. She had lost her husband to an illness, and not long after, she lost their baby too—because of the stress and sadness from losing her husband.
"Then does that mean I was also made out of the love between my Mom and Dad..?" I asked, looking up at her.
She paused for a second, then smiled again. "Of course, Lucas. Every baby in the world is made from their parents' love for each other."
"Then nanny, why don't my Mom and Dad live together like how my friends' parents do..?" I looked down, playing on the blocks I had on my hand. She looked quite surprised at my words.
"That is… I'll tell you when you're old enough, okay, Lucas?" She said with a slight hesitation in her voice.
"Okay nanny..."
Four weeks later, my nanny passed away. She had gone back to her hometown to visit her husband's grave, and not long after, her body could no longer take it and the illness took her away too. At the time, I didn't really understand what passing away meant. I just knew she wouldn't be coming back, just like how my parents were never really around.
After she died, my parents adjusted their schedules a bit to take care of me. I'd live with Dad for a month, then with Mom the next month. It went on like that like a cycle until I was old enough to take care of myself. And when I got older, I finally understood why my parents didn't live together or why they weren't like other parents out there.
Nanny lied to me. If all babies were made from love, then why was I born when Mom and Dad didn't even love each other in the first place?
I found out from my mom's brother also my uncle that they were once best friends in school who got forced into an arranged marriage by their families. They already had people they loved, but in the end they couldn't say no and gave up the love of their life. After they got married, I was born. A son, a heir. That was all they needed to free themselves from eachother. After I reacher my first birthday, they both dove back into their work.
My mom traveled constantly for her acting overseas, while, my dad stayed behind running his restaurant and managing his company. They barely had time for themselves, let alone for me. But still, in their own ways, they showed they cared.
Sometimes, Mom would bring me to her shoots and let me act in small roles as my mom thought I had some potential in acting and ever since then I started acting into a child actor when I was young and even got an award for it. Dad, on the other hand, would teach me how to cook everytime whenever he had time. Even when he was tired, he never said no if I asked to teach me how to cook in the kitchen. That's how I grew to love cooking and sometimes helped out at his restaurant.
They showed their love differently, but I never felt it was enough. What I really wanted was for all of us to sit down at one table, eat dinner together like a normal family. I knew it was childish, but that was my only wish growing up.
I got hooked on watching movies with happy families. Families who laughed, fought, cried, but stayed together. That's when I first saw them, The Lee family.
It was just a random interview on TV. Nothing too special, but for some reason, I couldn't stop watching. Emris Lee, the son of the headmaster of Lucian and also the CEO of his company, and his wife, Vivianne Lee. The way they spoke, smiled, and supported each other during the interview was the kind of family I always wished for. They even have a children too who were the same age as me.
There was something about watching them that made me feel strange. I didn't know what It was. Envy? Longing?
I looked up everything I could about them online. There weren't many appearances of their son Gabriel. Just a few modeling runways and interviews. He was known to be intelligent, polite, good-looking, he was basically the perfect son a dad could ever wanted. I started to think maybe that's the kind of son Dad wanted me to be.
I started working harder in school. I stayed up late studying, trying to live up to that perfect image. When I got my first academic award in middle school, I felt like I finally did something right. But I still wanted more.
Eventually, I became the second top student in my grade. First place always went to my childhood best friend, Sevastyan Svyatolaz Nikolayev or Seb, for short. No matter how hard I tried, I could never beat him in academics. But second place was still good. It felt like I was doing something that mattered.
I even started dressing and acting like Gabriel. Calm. Collected. Neat. He wasn't active on social media, but every time he appeared in public, I paid close attention. Then, I finally got to see him in real life.
Lucian Etoille Academy. Dad told me that he and Mom both went there when they were still in high school. Then I decided I wanted to go too since I thought It would make my parent proud of me in their alma mater. When I got in, my friends also transferred with me and their parents had no trouble with it after all, Lucian was the most prestigious school in the world.
At the entrance ceremony, I saw him. Gabriel. He was sitting at a table a bit far from mine, but I could still see him clearly. He looked even better in person. His face, his posture—everything about him screamed perfection. I couldn't look away.
"What are you staring so hard for, Lucas?" Zack asked, raising a brow.
I flinched and turned to him. "What do you mean?"
He looked in the direction I had been staring at. "Hmm." He chewed his food slowly and paused looking like he saw something interesting. "Isn't that the headmaster's grandson over there?" Seb glanced over at his comment. "Yeah, looks like it."
"Wow, I've only ever seen him on the runway with Aviel." Eli added, also looking at him.
"I've only seen him in TV either" I replied. Seb and Zack nodded in agreement with me.
The Vice-Headmaster's speech dragged on, and I kept glancing over at Gabriel's table. That's when something happened.
A staff member accidentally spilled water on a girl sitting beside Gabriel. Unfortunately for the staff it was the famous girl Aviel, who was known for being spoiled. The staff froze, terrified. He got on his knees, probably expecting to get yelled at or worse.
Gabriel looked like he said something to Aviel and took off his blazer and puts it on her lap. He then glared at the staff on the ground and threw a box tissue of tissue at him. The staff got even more scared at his expression and cleaned his mess and left.
I've heard about certain rumors about his reputation in Lucian staff and his servants, but I didn't expect them to be actually true.