Mistakes happen, that's life, but I was stuck in a loop, repeating the same stuff over and over-that's when you start to lose yourself and I lost me a long time ago
I was on call with Girish Jha listening to him talk about how him "a guy in his early twenties" wanted to do unthinkable things to a girl in her teen.
Girish was telling me, how he just wanted to hold me in his arms , his words, the lust behind the words weren't new to me as pratik did worse,
Pratik did so much worse.
The unspeakable.
I ...I didn't go to his house after the things he did to me last time, but then time had passed i remember it had already been more than a month before I even went back to his house, and i thought he'll just let me be , I was wrong, i made a Mistake.
The day I went back to Pratik's house, not for him, not for my friend, just for a school project.
Pratik was sitting alone and i was looking for my friend, then i asked him if my friend was home or not the way he looked at me was not a good news he had things in mind, i could see them, and that's when i realised it was a Mistake comming back to his house, pratik checked me out for a while then he told me my friend wasn't home.
so I turned to leave but Pratik held me by my waist i gasped and pushed him away, there were a lot of things in my mind i wasn't happy i was so scared from what he did last time so i pushed him as hard as i could but his grasp tightened around my waist
"Pratik stop it, I am not going to entertain you anymore"
as soon i said it i could see Pratik's fingers digging deep in my skin.
"Pratik leave me!" I screamed as hard as i could
"Isn't this what you wanted, you agreed to it the first time, didn't you?" Pratik said while stepping closer and closer to me
" No Pratik, i didn't want all that" I said while holding back my tears, what was i suppose to do I was just a Stupid Teenager who got herself in situations she shouldn't have been.
" Aneya don't resist i know you and how you are, be a good girl and please me" Pratik said that and striped me Naked!
I was just a Stupid Teenager who once said yes to something she shouldn't have i felt what i felt and I was ashamed but i was just a Stupid Teenager.
"Hello, Aneya?" Girish was still on call
" Yeah, sorry! I was just.....lost in my thoughts" i was still in the flashbacks but Girish wouldn't have understood i know.
" Oh Aneya baby! Lost in thoughts of how I'll do what i promised,huh?" Girish said with a hint of smirk
Smirk that I could feel through the phone
"Creepy" i murmured on the phone
" Huh, you said something?" Girish asked with a hint of annoyance
"Yeah I called you Creepy"
I don't know how the teenage me got the guts to confront him but I did ...huh I did! Remembering Pratik and the mistake I made in past finally i got some courage. I wish I had it in present too...
"Aneya? Baby? You ? " Girish sounded confused
" Shut up! Girish, enough... I told you I am too young, why don't you understand" I said with frustration
"Aneya, what happened, baby it's not like you, Aneya you love me!" Girish screamed with desperation
"Stopppppp! Girish stop calling me baby , you know i am not your girlfriend, you know that you begged me to stay in contact with you, you are no one Girish Jah, No one to me , so stop texting and calling and leave me alone, also delete my nudes, cause you have done enough!" I put all my anger in those words intentionally wanting to hurt Girish , I had enough of him already, he was too old and mature to understand that he was wrong, but hey let's just blame a STUPID TEENAGER.
"Oh, Aneya? You made a huge Mistake, you'll regret it , I will make sure, mark my words." Girish words held a promise.
I ended the call and i was shivering, "that's it Aneya, that's your first step to change your life and have it back in your hands,Not Vishal, Not Pratik,Not Girish, it's your life Aneya and now you'll decide what's going to happen next" I reassured myself and blocked Girish, even thou I was scared of his warnings but what's the worse he can do , i already have faced it all " Girish is not the worst thing that'll happen to you Aneya" I told myself and i wasn't wrong the 19 year old Aneya would agree.
After a week of not having Girish disturb me and beg me for suggestive pictures, I was happier and almost had my life together I made a few friends online, a few girls were getting too close and it was time when I was suppose to reveal my face to this girl Julie I was talking to , she was sweet, she understood me as if she has known me for months, coincidentally we shared all the intrests , she was so friendly, and i desperately needed a friend.
This time better and different than the last, so I sent her a message saying I'll be revealing my face and will send her my picture, and she was excited more than my other friends were , Julie was something different, or so I thought...
As soon as I sent her the picture of my face, i realised i again made a mistake, that past will always haunt you no matter what you'll do.
"Julie! How could you " I had this question In mind,
And she answered it herself without even me raising a question.
"Aneya , I am sorry , i was just asked to" those words made me feel like there's no one in this world, whom I will be able to trust, everyone is ....so fake.
Like Julie.