Ye Wudi: A duel? No... This is what it means to be a man!
"Cough, cough... A few of you, take Sasuke to the infirmary. The rest, stay where you are. Class continues."
After Ye Wudi's duel with Sasuke came to an explosive end, Iruka finally stepped back in to restore order on the training field, ready to continue his lesson.
"I'll do it!"
"You? Sit your ass down Ye Wudi, don't you start again! Stop stirring things up and behave yourself!"
Ding!
Congratulations, Host! You have received 66 points of negative emotion from Iruka!
Misunderstood yet again, Ye Wudi could only shrug helplessly.
"All I want is to be a good person... Why does nobody believe me? Seriously."
Would he really kick Sasuke when he's down?
How could he? At most, he'd just let the guy lie there for another year or two.
And what's wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing.
Ding!
Congratulations, Host! You have received 66 points of negative emotion from Iruka!
Ding! Congratulations, Host! You have received…
As the tide of negative emotions surged once more around him, Ye Wudi wisely shut up and turned his full attention to clinging onto Hinata.
Whenever tempers began to cool, he'd make his move again.
A sneak kiss on her cheek here, a gentle squeeze of her hand there each time stoking the simmering fury of his classmates all over again.
"Hinata, do you know what your zodiac is? A cat? Nope. You belong... to me."
"Your lips are dangerously pretty. They taste sweet too perfect for whispering I love you."
"Why are you all staring at us like that? It's not like I'm force-feeding you romance every minute. But every second, my heart is thinking about my lovely little Hinata."
Ding! Congratulations, Host! You have received…
And so the entire afternoon passed with no end to the stream of negative emotions directed at Ye Wudi from all around him.
Thanks to the live-action "example" that was his duel with Sasuke, Iruka's theory lecture actually proceeded surprisingly smoothly afterward.
Time ticked on. Eventually, school was over.
"Later, boss! Catch you next time, sister-in-law!"
"Boss, I got to go train my Reverse Harem Jutsu. I'll leave you and sis-in-law to it!"
"Sister-in-law...? Ah… s-sister-in-law..."
Hearing the Four Ditch-Class Kings call her that, Hinata nearly fainted on the spot.
The other girls from the ninja academy, however, lit up like fireworks.
One after another, they began adjusting their collars and fluttering their lashes in Ye Wudi's direction.
"Wudi-kun, Hinata's health is way too fragile she's either fainting or halfway there all the time. But look at me I've got stamina for days. Come home with me instead."
"Come home? Don't be ridiculous. What Wudi needs is someone with real presence. Not some barren plain like you."
"This 'plain' is destined to unify the world! You overstuffed cow!"
As for Ino and Sakura Ino ran off to tell her dad everything that happened today, while Sakura kept trailing Sasuke with obsessive persistence.
Ding! Congratulations, Host! You have received 999 points of negative emotion from Sasuke!
Ding! Congratulations, Host! You have received 999 points of negative emotion from Sakura!
Faced with the rising tide of girl group drama, Ye Wudi just shrugged casually, scooped Hinata into his arms, and made to leave.
"Burn, baby, burn! Youth!!"
But just as he turned, a flash of green hurtled toward him at insane speed.
No correction. The green blur was aimed at the man behind him: Kakashi, who was simultaneously reading Make-Out Paradise and keeping a wary eye on the situation.
BOOM!
Sand flew, stones scattered, and a booming laugh filled the air.
"Hahaha! Kakashi, I finally found you!"
"Let's gooo! The Blue Beast of Konoha Might Guy has arrived!"
Oh no...
Seeing the flaming whirlwind that was Might Guy barreling toward him, Kakashi sighed, snapped shut his book, and dropped from the rooftop.
Since he'd been caught, there was no avoiding it now.
A duel was inevitable.
As for Ye Wudi? With Hinata in his arms and Hyūga clan guards stationed nearby, he should be fine.
Probably.
It was getting dark anyway. They wouldn't go wandering off, right?
Resigned, Kakashi stretched out his right arm and struck his usual fighting pose.
Might Guy skidded to a halt with a wide grin, his heel blasting the stone beneath him into powder.
BOOM!
"Hahaha! Kakashi! Let's have ourselves a good old-fashioned throwdown!"
"Very well then "
"No Sharingan!"
"Fine."
As soon as Kakashi agreed, the next scene left everyone around them completely dumbfounded.
The ever-stoic Kakashi… was now wiggling his hips in rhythm with Guy, arms swinging like pom-poms.
He looked frankly like a complete dork.
"Rock, paper, scissors! Rock, paper, scissors! Times two!"
Just when it looked like they were settling things with a harmless game of janken, Guy suddenly threw his arms out in an X.
"Nope! Rock-paper-scissors is absolutely! Not! Allowed!"
"This is a real duel!"
With that, he picked up a rock and hurled it into the distance.
Kakashi's face suddenly grew serious.
As Guy's best rival, he knew exactly what that gesture meant.
Running.
BOOM!
As soon as the stone hit the ground, both men vanished in a burst of dust and debris.
In Ye Wudi's arms, Hinata blinked up at the commotion and murmured softly,
"So… this is how teachers duel?"
"A duel...? Hmm. Maybe. But honestly "
He looked out at the two men charging like lunatics,
"It's more like... single guys just having the time of their lives."
At this point, Guy and Kakashi had gone full-on beast mode.
Eyes wide, teeth clenched, lips flapping in the wind they were running like characters out of a cartoon.
They had literally adopted the running form of Xiong Er from Boonie Bears.
When they reached the top of a sloping hill and leapt into the air at the same time
"You truly are my greatest rival, Kakashi!"
WHAM!
Before Guy could even finish his line, a ladle smacked him square in the face.
"Damn! That hurt... Kakashi! When did you get a ladle?!"
"I brought a few spares. Hid 'em in the rubble before we started."
"Cheater! Taste this!"
With a loud yell, Guy caught the ladle Kakashi had thrown and whipped it back.
"Ow! Guy, fine then try this!"
WHAP WHAP WHAP!
Suddenly, random objects began flying back and forth like shuriken between the two.
"Crap! I just tossed my Make-Out Paradise! Guy, don't throw that book!"
"Make-out what? Hahaha! I get it now! You really are my eternal rival! Burn, my youth! Burn!"
Ora ora ora!
Muda muda muda!
Thud thud thud…
And while Kakashi and Guy frolicked in the dying light, a few masked shadows were quietly approaching Ye Wudi and Hinata.
"Kakashi and Might Guy are at it again. The Hyūga guards are totally distracted."
"Once it's dark, and those two start wandering off like usual, we make our move. Grab Ye Wudi and deliver him to the master."
"Yes, Captain."
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