The concert was nearing its end.
The idols and fans were enjoying their final moments together, walking left and right across the stage, trying to see every fan in every corner. It was a meaningful time — a chance for fans to connect, even for a second, with their favorite idols.
"Miraeee! You're so cute!" a fan shouted.
"You're even cuter!" Mirae responded with a bright smile.
Fans scrambled from left to right, yelling anything they could to catch a member's attention. Some held signboards with inside jokes known only to the idols and their loyal fanbase, the Lunars.
One sign on the far right stood out.
"Twerk if I should dye my hair." Yuna read aloud, laughing.
Without missing a beat, Yuna gave a playful, shy twerk, clearly embarrassed but leaning into the fun. The fans exploded in cheers.
"Even while twerking, she still has that soft vibe!" someone screamed.
The interactions continued — a flurry of fanservice, waves, and inside jokes. After all, it had been a long, unforgettable night.
But not every member was fully present.
One idol, though smiling and reading signboards like the rest, was clearly searching for something — or someone. She squinted her eyes, shading them with her hand as she scanned the crowd.
"I can't see him..." she muttered to herself.
"I gave him a VIP ticket... he should be here."
Minji.
She had spotted her younger sister in the crowd, who waved excitedly at her. Minji smiled back warmly, mouthing the words: "Take care going home." But Aiden — he was nowhere to be seen.
As the final moments came, the members lined up, holding hands.
"Thank you, Lunars!!!" they all shouted, bowing together.
The fans grew emotional. The concert was officially over. One by one, they would soon exit the stadium. This night would remain a core memory for many — a beautiful page in their journey as Lunars.
But just as the group began heading backstage, something unexpected happened.
The members looked exhausted — all except one.
Minji.
She was lost in thought again, visibly distant. Her face, which always wore a perfected idol smile, now showed something else — doubt. Worry.
"Don't tell me... he sold it?" she thought with a soft chuckle. The idea was ridiculous enough to make her laugh.
But what Minji didn't realize... was that her mic was still on.
Her laugh echoed through the entire stadium — pure, gentle, unguarded. The kind of laugh you'd hear from someone who hadn't laughed like that in years. The kind of laugh that stayed with you.
The fans burst out laughing in return.
Backstage, the staff and members laughed too. Minji's hand shot up to cover her mouth in embarrassment.
Yuna, however, didn't laugh.
She stared at Minji with wide eyes, frozen.
That laugh... That smile...
It was the first time Yuna had ever heard Minji laugh like that. Not since they were trainees. Even back then, her laugh had sounded forced. Controlled. But this?
This was different.
This was Minji.
"Minji..." Yuna thought. "I didn't know... I didn't know you were struggling this much."
Minji bowed quickly, still flustered.
"I'm sorry, everyone!" she said, her voice cracking slightly.
I slipped up.
But when was the last time I even laughed like that?
Outside that stadium?
Ah... I remember now.
When I was five.
__________________________________________
My mother would spoil me every single thing. If I want food she would give it to me, If I want dress she would give it to me, If I want the toy she would give it to me.
"Mom I want that" I would point at the things I want.
"Is that so?" She would ask and will buy it for me.
Despite the financial struggles we have she would be a great mother for me. Father is working his hardest to the point that he would come late night home go straight to the bed. Mother would read me stories before bed like a typical princess daughter.
"Did the turtle even stop after it crossed the line?" I'd ask, giggling.
"Who knows, Minji,"
She turn page after page until I fall asleep. Looking back at then it's a great moment for me and I do wish it's the same for her. Until one day my mother would get pregnant. Things would get heated late night home as they don't know if they can handle to raise yet another children.
"Why can't we catch a break? It's always problem after problem!" My father shouted.
"I'm the one who's doing all the chores at home, I'm also tired!"
"Stop spoiling Minji!, we already don't have enough for ourselves, save some money please!"
I would hear the endless bickering and fight every single night, I don't know what to feel because I was just a child back then. I was conflicted. As if the peaceful world I was living suddenly turned against me.
Night after night, the house became a battleground. I didn't understand. I was just a child. Confused. Hurt.
Sometimes, my mother would come into my room while I was asleep and whisper:
"Don't be like your mother when you grow up."
And I'd cry quietly under the covers.
One day I was scavenging in the basement, I would find an object that is covered with black cloth and beneath it is a unused piano covered dust and web. Mesmerized I hurriedly go upstairs and dragged my mother on to the basement.
"Can you put this in my room?" I asked.
"I don't think it works anymore," she said. "But sure, why not."
After cleaning the piano, she put it to my bedroom and plugged in the power and we sat each other. I would press random keys from left to right and random sounds would be make by the electric piano.
"I bought this when I was pregnant with you," she told me. "But I never learned to play it."
"Minji, I would dry the laundry first I'll be right back" She hurriedly left.
She didn't think much but just saw a child being a child but this moment will forever changed everything. Every keys I press, My body would instantly remember where that key is and the sound would be also my memorization in a short amount of time. I was talented.
"Minji, are you enjoying it?"
"Yes mom" I replied
"Mom watch this"
I focus my attention to the keyboard and took a deep breathe. The song that my mom would play in her speakers every single day. I played it. In just 8 years old I would discover my talents. I can play the piano by ear, I have a high vocal range and have a natural flexible body.
My mother looked at me and laugh hysterically as if she's relieved of a problem. The mother vibe that I am used to her was anguished in a single moment. She's looking at me like I'm an opportunity not as her daughter anymore. Sometimes, I would think of this moment and would have the feeling of regret. Maybe I shouldn't have touch the basement.
At that moment I was scared, She didn't looked at me the same way that she used to do. That night was different, There was no bickering and fight but a peaceful resolution. I didn't get to hear what they said but they were in a good mood in a low voice.
The next day my mother would wake me up early in the morning and we would go to the capital of the country. Bringing the keyboard on her left arm and me on her left arm.
"Mom, I have school today" I would say to her while we were travelling and she would just ignore me. She's determine of something that I wasn't sure of but seeing the keyboard on her left arm, I figured that she would use my talent.
We would go to different tv stations to audition on different kind of variety shows to showcase my talent. Until finally we got accepted to one variety show. It's about a celebrity interacting with a random child. Many cameras, many flashes of light they were alien to me and I don't know if this is right. At 8 years old, I debuted. My parents got a taste of my talent fee and they have changed since then. It's true when someone got hold of the money the true colors is shown.
This would continue until my mother give birth to Harin. The financial struggles were lessened because of me. The industry love me so they kept inviting me. They have taken care of the bills for my mother. My father also resigned from his job.
Soon kpop industry would rise and would take over the entertainment industry in a short span of time. My parents knowing this hired a coach for dancing ang singing. I would be training with her every single day. I stopped going to the school which I should be doing as a children. Singing, dancing, I would be exhausted and after going home no one even would bat an eye to me. It was sad.
My mother would drag me to different companies in order for me to debut as an Idol. With the visual, talent and experience to the industry they were all sure that I would be accepted and they would be right.
"Honey, Minji got accepted as a trainee" and they would celebrate not because of me but because of the wealth they would get if I ever got to debut.
Nothing is new as a trainee. Everyone around me are like my parents. Managers, Scout, CEOS, everyone. I have to put a smile but inside my it's already rotting. My colleagues are the same with me struggling but the difference is that their dream is to be an idol but me, I don't want any part of this. I would get jealous when they talked about their school.
I hate it.
I would practice, practice, practice.
To the point that I didn't even notice my sister have grown this much. My body would be cover of bruises. My voice would be hoarse. Sometimes I can't even walk straight because my legs would be strain so much.
I would sometimes looked at the mirror sometimes and would realized.
"I didn't even notice myself growing"
I would cry every night. It hurts so much.
My body is hurting,
My mental aptitude is deteriorating,
My soul is breaking,
I can't take it anymore and decided to escape the reality. Late night at a random tuesday, I was packing my stuff in my bedroom and get ready to disappear without a trace but someone stopped me.
"Unnie, are you going to leave me?"
Upon hearing that I couldn't bring my self to leave anymore. I hugged her.
"No, no, no, I would never do that"
I put her to sleep and cried. I was just a child with a wrong adult.
I was scared of the thought that if I ever leave. They might do to Harin what they did to me so I have no choice but to sacrifice myself for her.
Is it against my will? yes.
Do I love her? yes.
But what can I do even at this point, I really have no choice do I?
I am walking in a dark tight labyrinth.
There is even no light at the end of this.
I'm just walking blindly in the path, full of darkness. Until I can't feel anything anymore.
As if I'm walking in a linear path. There are no other ways to choose from.
This is my life. It is pre determined from the start. This is my destiny.
It's suffocating really.
I can't even fathom how much I cried back then but yet here I am.
sigh
_______________________
At the back stage when everything ended. Parents of members came to celebrate them for the success of the event.
"They aren't even in here"
"tsk"
I should go first I'm just going to get jealous here anyway.
I walked up to Yuna and asked her to handle things.
"Unnie, I would be going first now"
"Already?"
At this moment Yuna sighs.
Sigh
She looked at me and hugged me.
"Congrats Minji"
"Thankyou, Yuna unnie"
After the hug I dashed off outside the stadium in a teary eye.
Walking towards my favorite comfort spot.
sigh
This hurts so much.
When would be the point where I get to choose what I want.
This world is too cruel for me.
When can I be free?