It's been about a week since the ogres arrived at the village. Thanks to their contributions, we been able to advance our construction to now that most of tents have been built and are building some small single room structures.
Also, between then and now, not only I named Napoleon, but I also named Hakuro and Kurobe. I gave Hakuro the name Shifu since while an elderly combat master, he didn't came off as a wise elder but more of rough teacher that is just old, which definitely fits both characters. I renamed Kurobe to Brock. No particular reason as why for, I don't know any memorable Smith characters, and Kurobe also just came off as a guy named Brock, I dunno. In regards to their new designs, unlike with the rest, these two didn't actually take a alternative form from the original besides keeping their fangs. Shifu already looked human due to his family genetics and I actually like Brock's design of looking like someone middle age dude that you would love to hang and have a beer with. Napoleon himself had slimed down like his son but had also gotten a handlebar style goatee from the evolution too. And it's safe to say he enjoys the new style
Currently for me. I'm being carried around by Lavandra in the same suggestive position that she carried rimuru in the anime. I'm already a nervous wreck to begin with, but how am I supposed to be so casual about being right under her chest. How did rimuru became so nonchalant about this?
While trying to keep my composure, we headed over to the tailor building where we met up with Cameilla.
Kaijuno: Good day Cameilla, how's the shop running?
Cameilla: Kaijuno-Sama, I'm so glad to see
Right after saying this, she began to hug me. Does naming a monster really make them more affectionate towards you? It's at least great to know my presence is actually welcomed than ignored
Lavandra: It seems like things doing quite fine. If so we'll be on our-
Cameilla: Oh Lavandra, how has guarding Kaijuno-Sama been
Lavandra: Oh its been going great Cameilla
Lavadra had basically proclaimed herself as my bodyguard, although not my secretary since I haven't been labeled with any leading occupation, not that we had offically established any to begin with.
Cameilla: I was just wondering, if it's getting too much for you. I'd be able to watch over Kaijuno-Sama
Lavandra:No, no, it's the responsibility of a bodyguard, I couldn't possibly lend you Kaijuno-Sama
Cameilla: I insist
Lavandra:hehe
Cameilla:hehe
Kaijuno: DONT START STRETCHING ME! I hate it when you both do that
Cameilla/Lavandra: EH?.. okay
Kaijuno: Cameilla, if you really want to hang out, feel free to come by after you finished
Cameilla:right
Lavandra: Anyhow, I must go feed Kaijuno-Sama
As we headed out, I caught a glimpse on the dwarves giving me smug looks and all I could think is
Kaijuno:(... SHUT UP!)
Rimuru Pov
I went to the dining building, Lavandra told me she'll make me and Kaijuno a meal. I told her, it can't be bulldear skewers since Kaijuno is still banned for a few weeks but I'm looking forward to what she has to bring to the table
Napoleon: Hello Rimuru-Sama, come by to eat?
Rimuru: Yeah Lavandra told me she was gonna make a meal
Leonardo, Shifu, and Benjamin were with him. I felt all four of them flinch at the same time
Rimuru: wanna try some of it?
Napoleon: ah, no thanks, I'm feeling quite fine with my tea
Shifu: same here
Benjamin: I'm not hungry
Leonardo: I just remembered, I have to go on my patrol
It seems like Leonardo had already mastered how to use body double
Lavandra: Hello everyone
Kaijuno: Hey
Lavandra placed Kaijuno on the seat next to me to which they morphed into their demi-human form
Bejamin:*gurgle* *gurgle*
Rimuru:(... "not hungry" my butt. Wait is it one of those tropes where the hot lady's drawback is that they're a terrible cook?)
What happened next, made my fears come true. Lavandra came out the kitchen with two bowls that I thought were a new monster species
Rimuru:(this is supposed to be food!?)
I look over to Kaijuno, they're too shocked to give a reaction as well)
She placed both bowels infront of us
Lavandra: Dig in you two
I very hesitantly scooped up a portion of whatever this is. And I swear this thing moved
I gave a glance towards Kaijuno again, no words nor reaction again but instead, they slighty lifted their mask and somehow forced themselves to eat that disgusting spoonful
Kaijuno:... Lavandra
Lavandra: Hai!
Kaijuno: There's something about this that feels... off
Lavadra: What do you mean?
Kaijuno: I'm not sure, do you mind trying a spoonful and seeing for yourself?
Lavandra: Sure thing
Kaijuno scooped up another portion of the meal and fed it to Lavadra. Only took a second for Lavandra to drop to ground and shook frantically until eventually passing out.
So it was that bad that kijin gets knocked out by only a spoonful. The others simply avoided to look in our direction. All I could do in this is simply pray for our fallen friend. At least no one has to be forced to eat this anymore.
Gobta: Hey what is coo- ACK!
A Gobta met the same fate after taking a few steps inside
Rimuru: Kaijuno! What did you feed Gobta too!?
Kaijuno: I wanted to see if they get poison resistance from this
Kaijuno Pov
I survived the very first instance of what is I consider to be the absolute worst gag in the series. And it doesn't even make sense, how can someone know what food looks like and not see how unappealing this gunk is. If I had a stomach, I would've thrown up by either the sight of this meal or by eating. Thankfully, Wise Sage suggested I use predation instead of eating it regularly to ensure my survival. Even with Poison Resistances and Pain Nullification at maximum and yet I still had to endure a disgusting slob going into my body even through predation.
It occurred to me of an opportunity that can hopefully stop this nonsense from going on for years. Lavandra's immaturity makes it difficult for her to even accept criticism. The best way to get her to be aware of her crappy cooking is to have her actually taste how God awful it is. Heck even shion in the Tenchura manga did this. With now the undeniable truth of Lavandra's cooking finally being known to everybody, hopefully this can set up a more toxic food free environment.
Gobta eventually walked in, should risk not getting him poison resistance, especially when he's gonna be roughly trained by ultima, or was it gabiru? Speaking of him, doesn't this incident take place in the same day as his arrival?
After a mild scolding from rimuru to not experiment on our friends, I took Lavandra to the resting quarters since we didn't really set up an infirmary yet, so this was the next best place to leave her beside the floor that passed out on.
I waited for her to finally recover from her cuisine knockout.
Lavandra:mmmm what happened? Why does my entire body hurts
Kaijuno:You ate your own food, that's what happened.
Lavandra: What do you mean?
Kaijuno:Lavandra, do you not actually eat or even try your own cooking?
Lavandra: No, I just give them to everyone else
Kaijuno: Well take this as lesson that you actually need to taste what food you're giving to someone else.
Lavandra: Is my food really that bad?
I can see her starting to whimper at the thought of having a personal flaw in something she's proud of. How do I respond to this soon to be outburst? By of course with a
Kaijuno:...YES, I don't even know what the meal was even by looking straight at it but I know I didn't want to eat it.
Lavandra: WHAT!?
Kaijuno: Yup, look I'm sorry but your cooking is not that good.
Lavandra: But Benjamin and the others never complained about my cooking
Kaijuno: For some ungodly reason, literally everybody is just too cowardice to just say otherwise.
I can see that Lavandra is close to unleash a hurricane of a tantrum. Better recover from this while I still can
Kaijuno: BUT this not something to start fussing over. "Steel yourself and get stronger"
Lavandra:S-steel myself?
Kaijuno:"Being weak is nothing to be ashamed of. However, staying weak is!"
Don't let this make you feel like a failure. Let this be a lesson that you still have the luxury to still harness your skills, that you haven't plateaued.
Lavandra: Hai! Kaijuno-Sama
Kaijuno: Alright then-
Leonardo: Kaijuno-Sama
Kaijuno:Ah! Couldn't you just walk through the front door instead of suddenly appearing through shadow movement?
Leonardo: Apologies but there is an envoy at the front of the village
Kaijuno: An envoy? OK I'll go check them out
It seems that Gabiru is finally apart of the picture now. Probably who I would describe as a theater kid although for now he is an arrogant prick. I head over to the village front while being carried by Lavandra and followed by Leonardo. We met up with the kijins and Rimuru who was on Rigurd's shoulder and was met with quite the presentation. A group of lizardmen who along with some reptilian horse like creature were stomping to show off the named future head of the lizardmen tribe.
Gabiru: I am Gabiru of the lizardmen tribe, you will work under me! Consider it a tremendous honor!
Lizardmen 1: Yeah! Gabiru!
Lizardmen 2: You're on fire!
Lizardmen 3: You're so cool Gabiru!
Kaijuno & Co: Huh?
Lizardmen 1: remember him well for he is the next chieftain of the lizardmen tribe
Kaijuno & Co: Huh?
Gabiru: That's right and from this day forth you all shall serve me!
Safe to say, I was starting grow a vein or two. Apparently I'm not the only one since Lavandra is starting to tighten her grip on me severely.
Kaijuno: LAVANDRA! I DON'T LIKE BEING CRUSHED EITHER! I AIN'T A STRESSBALL!
Lavandra: Eh!? SORRY, SORRY SORRY!
The first to respond was Rigurd who seemed to try to find some reasoning and middle ground from this situation.
Rigurd: Wait, hold on. This proposal is quite sudden
Gabiru:Geez, haven't you heard about what's been going on around the forest
Rigurd: You mean the orcs?
Gabiru: Exactly, there's an army of armored orcs roaming around the forest of jura. Hence why I came to recruit you all. So fear not for I came to protect you weaklings, weaklings, weak... eh?
Gabiru actually analyzed the people right in front of him, noticing that we aren't a bunch of small goblins. He checked everyone out, even at me... or I think at me... who am I kidding, he was giving Lavandra a pervy stare.
He immediately huddled up with his folks quickly going over how nobody came off as weak. Seriously, do I have to get used to this type of nonsense if this world is full of arrogant hot shots?
Gabiru: Ehem! We also have reports that this village has tamed direwolves. Bring them to me
Bejamin: May I kill him?
Kaijuno: hehe no
Kaijuno:(Seriously why didn't rimuru not take this question seriously?)
Rimuru: Tamed? It's more like we made them our allies
Kaijuno:( Nah, I'd say we definitely tamed them)
Gabiru: Well either way, I wished to see them
Kaijuno:( should we?)
Rimuru:(... yeah)
Kaijuno: Willfla!
Rimuru: Ranga!
In sync once again, the father and son duo jumped out of shadows to approach the lizardmen
Ranga: Well we're here now
Willfla: So speak
Gabiru: You both have grand and majestic forms, with me, I'm sure we can defeat those vile orcs. Shall you follow me?
Ranga/Willfla: Grrrrrrrrr!
As expected, they're both pissed
Ranga: You dare think we'll betray our masters!
Willfla: Especially to insolent pest like you, it seem you don't know your place!
Gabiru: master's? Who might they be?
They both gestured towards me and rimuru
Gabiru: Slimes! That can't be right. No mere slimes can hope to tame such might beasts
This comment somehow pissed off the two Tempest Wolves even more. They look like they were about to bite his head off
Gobta: la la la la, Hey what's going on here?
Rimuru: gobta you actually survived?
Gobta: of course I did, it's gonna take more than that too take me down
Kaijuno: did you get poison resistance?
Gobta: yep I got it by whatever you gave me
Kaijuno: cool
Ranga: perfect timing
And now the unassuming hobgoblin was now being used to settle this despite with spear in hand.
Gobta: wait wait hold! I'm not sure about this!
Rimuru: Well you do win, I'll get Brock to make you a cool weapon.
Gobta: Well that's a bit encouraging
Kaijuno: but if you fail like a screw up, I'm gonna feed you more of that gunk until you're chubby and then have shifu give you even harsher training to get you back into shape!
Gobta: ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!
Rimuru: a bit much?
Kaijuno: it'll work either way
With that commences the fight between the simple looking hobgoblin and the theatre kid lizardman. Two of the series gag characters face off against eachother. Will this fight be as ironically serious like the both of them later on?... NOPE, it plays out the same. Just a couple moments of a spear fight until Gabira gets drop kicked to the back of his head. I swear it felt like it was slowed down in real time instead of a comedic timing effect.
Kaijuno: And with that, your leader is down for the count
Rimuru: We don't mind becoming allies with you, but we won't be serving you. Come back when you understand this
Lizardmen 1:How dare you!
Lizardmen 2: Don't think you can get away with this!
Lizardmen 3:W-we won't forget about this!
With all their tails between their legs, the lizardmen fled from the area while we celebrated Gobta's victory. First trying to start Lavandra's redemption arc and now this, what a freaking day this turned out to be.
Kaijuno: Wait Lizardmen? Wasn't that the guy who was named by Gelmund?
Everyone else:Eh!
Benjamin: I guess that little stunt he did made us forget.
*Later that Night*
We gathered in the meeting hall to discuss the situation in regards to the orc army and making allies with the lizardmen. To start off we had Leonardo report on the status of the orc army.
Leonardo: From my findings, there is approximately 200,000 armored orcs within the army
Rimuru:200,000!?
Kaijino:200 grand of orcs!?
Leonardo: Indeed, it's not just tens of thousands but even reaching the hundreds of thousands
With this confirmation of the numbers we'll be facing, everyone began to grow uneasy.
Cameilla: Leonardo have you also investigated our village?
Leonardo:...yeah
Cameilla: Guessing by that reaction, it was what we expected
Rimuru: expected what?
Leonardo: Our village was in complete ruins
Rimuru: Eh!?
Napoleon: So it seems those bastard orcs really were after us
Kaijuno: But 200,000 is a heavy number to take out, maybe siding with the lizardmen might be the best course for action
Rimuru: Yeah but we should take this matter to someone else amongst the lizardmen, maybe even the chief. I just rather not deal with that Gabiru guy again
Kaijuno: Too true
Leonardo: Ah!?
Kaijuno: What's up?
Leonardo: One of my body doubles have encountered a spirit, they wish to speak with you
Rimuru: You sure we should? I don't want another outsider to come in and be weird
Kaijuno: or straight up annoying
Leonardo: They don't seem to be either, infact they're a dryad who are the forests caretakers. It would be advised to let them in
Rimuru: Dryads!?
Kaijuno: Thinking of something "weird" again rimuru?
Rimuru: What!? No, not at all. What gave you that idea
Kaijuno: I can tell. Anyways let them in Leonardo
Leonardo: Hai
The room glowed in a light emerald green to reveal women who gives off a divine presence, aka Treyni. In response, everyone tensed up and even some the nearest folks went into positions to guard me and rimuru. Kinda flattering that me of all people is being prioritized
Treyni: Hello rulers of monster, my name is Treyni, a dryad and caretaker of the Great Forest of Jura
Rimuru: Well hey there Treyni, what brought you here to our village?
Treyni: I came here as the forests caretaker to request for your assistance
Rimuru: What's your request?
Treyni: For both you and Kaijuno, I ask that you slay the orc lord
Everyone: ORC LORD!?
Treyni: Yes amongst their ranks, me and the other dryads have discovered the presence of an orc lord
Kaijn: As if this whole situation isn't already looking pretty grim, but at least this explains a whole lot of what's going on
Rimuru: Wait, hold in! What's an Orc Lord?
Benjamin: An orc lord is a unique monster that appears every couple hundred years. With their superior power, they hold the authority to command a large number of orcs, which can explain why there is such a large army to begin with
Kaijuno: Is it just an orc lord though? We've been hearing about a mysterious Majin roaming around the forest, giving names at random, is there no relations to that?
Treyni: You might be on the mark on that Kaijuno. During our investigation, we had a few spotting of a Majin overlooking the orc army. Quite safe to assume that they're associated in some way
Napoleon: But to think, first a mysterious Majin, then an orc army, and now we have to worry about an orc lord. This is getting worst and worst by the day.
Benjamin: That said, it is quite a selfish request to make, surely there are other races that can also be of great use in combat
Treyni: while technically true, out of all the separate tribes and clans, the one that holds ogres and even kijins would easily be the ones who can take on the orcs. And either way, I can't ignore the existence of two extraordinary beings.
Kaijino: Speaking of investigations, is it approximately 200,000 orcs from what you've seen as well
Treyni: Yes, me and my fellow dryads have estimated around 200,000 orcs as well
Kaijuno: It's still hard to believe such a huge number. How do they even keep their soldiers fed?
Treyni: It is due to the Unique Skill Starved
Rimuru: Starved?
Treyni: Yes, it is a unique skill that not only influences the orc lord but his followers as well, making them all feel a constant feeling of starvation
Rimuru: Wouldn't that make their food situation even worst?
Treyni: Indeed, so much worse that the only way to sustain themselves is by eating any comrade that has fallen to malnourishment
When Treyni mentioned this crucial detail, the entire atmosphere of the room went cold
Benjamin: Was that why the orcs decided to attack our village?
Napoleon: To think we could've met such a horrific fate
Treyni:... honored Rimuru Tempest and Kaijuno Tempest, as I request again, may you two slay the orc lord?
Rimuru:(should we take this?)
Kaijuno:(Not that she can technically force us, but we don't really have any reason to not do what she's asking of us. We were already making preparations to fight against them to begin with)
Rimuru:(so this request is basically pointless then since it was already our intentions to fight)
Kaijuno:(pretty much but I'd say let's just flow with it for the sake of the convo, oh! Hold up, I'll need a moment)
Rimuru:?
Kaijuno: We're both available to make a decision, there's no need to make one for us
Lavandra:Hai!
Rimuru:( Did you knew that was gonna happen?)
Kaijuno:( With magic sense, how can I not be aware of my surroundings?)
Rimuru:( right, anyways, I'll announce the decision)
Rimuru: After some thought, we'll agree to your request Treyni
Treyni: It is my utmost gratitude that you accepted my selfish request
Kaijuno: Right then in that case, Leonardo!
Leonardo: Hai!
Kaijuno: Go over to the Lizardmen tribe and speak with the chieftain in regards to making an alliance to combat the orcs, hopefully he'll be more mature unlike his wayward son.
Leonardo: Understood *disappear using shadow movement*
Rimuru: and for the rest of us, we'll start our wat preparation immediately!
Everyone: Hai!