Tami kissed back. No hesitation, just soft and quick, like it wasn't the first time they'd done it... even though it was.
"Come on, let's dance" James said, grabbing her hand before he could overthink it. The alcohol had kicked in just enough to silence the awkward thoughts.
The dance floor wasn't really a floor. It was just the open middle of the room, surrounded by half-tipsy students vibing like life wasn't real tomorrow. They stepped into the crowd and got swallowed up in the movement.
It wasn't wild, no one was grinding on tables or anything. But there was a buzz. That soft, drunken electricity where everyone's just a little too close, a little too warm, and everything feels like it matters more than it probably does.
Tami danced like she didn't care who was watching. James wasn't really sure what he was doing, but she didn't seem to mind. They moved in sync, sometimes laughing at nothing, sometimes saying things they wouldn't remember.
And then... another kiss. This one was slower, longer. She pulled away and smiled with that dazed look people get when they're too tipsy to act cool.
"You good?" she asked, almost teasing.
James nodded. "Yeah… yeah, I'm—wait, I'm not even sure where I live."
She laughed. "That drunk?"
He leaned in, his forehead gently bumping hers. "Not drunk enough to forget this. But drunk enough to wanna leave."
"Back to your place?" she asked, head tilted.
He shrugged. "Unless you know somewhere better."
She smiled, grabbed his hand, and they slipped out the side door like it was all part of the masterplan.
The night had blurred into a warm, head-spinning buzz by the time James and Tami stumbled out of the club room, laughing way too loud for how quiet the campus was. They were tipsy. Okay—no. They were drunk. That golden, floaty kind where everything feels softer and the world spins just a little slower.
Tami's arm was looped around James's neck like it belonged there. His hand was wrapped around her waist like he'd done it a thousand times.
They weren't even talking much.. just drunk giggles, stolen glances, the kind of chaotic energy you only get when the night's too good to end.
They got to James's apartment. He fumbled the keys. Dropped them. She laughed and leaned into the wall for balance.
"Don't judge me" he said, finally unlocking the door.
"No promises" she smirked.
The place was dark. A pair of sneakers by the door. A hoodie thrown over a chair. Classic broke-student energy. They didn't care.
They didn't even make it to the bed at first.
Just lips crashing, awkward shoes kicking off, jackets half-on, half-off. That kind of messy, dizzy kissing where you forget where your face ends and theirs begins.
They stumbled into the bedroom like they were being dragged by gravity itself. Collapsed onto the bed, breathless and laughing between kisses.
He looked at her. She looked at him.
"This... not the beer talking?" he asked, half-dazed, fully gone.
She grinned. "If it is... it's making some solid points."
***
Barry walked in, still in last night's clothes, shades on even though the sun wasn't that bright. His hair was a mess, his hoodie smelled like smoke and cheap tequila. The dude was cooked.
He had a takeaway coffee cup in one hand, half-empty already, the only thing keeping his brain from collapsing. He wasn't even planning to stop by—just swung through to crash for a bit.
Then he opened James's door.
And froze.
There they were. James and Tami. On the bed. Wrapped up. Still asleep. Still very much post-situation.
Barry blinked. Took a slow sip of his coffee.
"So this… this is what victory looks like, huh?"
Another sip.
"And on this day… a legend was born."
He stared a second longer, then raised the cup in a lazy toast.
"Congratulations, world. He got laid."
A pillow came flying outta nowhere and hit him square in the face.
"Shut the hell up," Tami groaned, barely lifting her head.
"I'm not judging!" Barry said, laughing. "I'm happy for him. My boy out here evolving."
"Sure.... so where were you last night?" Tami mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "And why are you even here?"
James, face buried in the pillow, grunted, "He lives here now."
Tami froze. "Wait—what?"
Barry shrugged like it was no big deal. "Yeah. Got kicked outta my dorm. Moved in. Rent's free if I bring coffee and shut up during hook-ups. I'm one for two so far."
"I swear to God…" Tami muttered, flopping back down. "I thought this was just your place."
"Same," James groaned. "But now I wake up and he's just... there. Like a cursed side quest."
Barry took another sip. "Side quest with good drip tho."
"You bring trauma" Tami said, eyes closed.
"I bring vibes" Barry replied, dead serious.
James pulled the blanket higher. "Y'all mind leaving so I can die in peace?"
"In your dreams. You gon' leave me alone in this shitty realm?" Tami snapped from under the covers, voice raspy as hell. Then she sat up, groaning. "Now can both of you excuse me, I need to change and get going. I've got an assignment to present and that AfAm professor is vicious."
Barry blinked. "Yo, isn't it weird how all the professors here are built like final bosses?"
"Fr," James nodded. "I mean, I get engineering professors being unhinged, but AfAm?? Why the trauma?"
"Will both y'all fuck off or not?" Tami groaned, dragging herself out of bed.
"Sure, sure" Barry said, grabbing his coffee again. He motioned for James to follow him out to the tiny kitchen, still chuckling. "Heyo, bruh, didn't know you had it in you."
James rolled his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah… I just hope this is a one-time thing."
Barry stopped mid-sip. "Damn. For real?"
James leaned on the counter, looking dead serious for the first time in a while. "She's cool… she's so cool. And I like her. But I just don't think I'm cut out for relationships, man. I might just break her."
Barry didn't say anything right away. He just leaned back, studying him like a therapist with ADHD. "Or maybe she's the one person who won't break."
James shrugged. "Or maybe I'm the villain in her story and I just haven't realized it yet."
Barry smirked, finally sipping. "Bro... that's poetic. You good?"
"Nope." James replied.
Barry grinned. "Cool. Let's go get pancakes."
***
God must really be done with me now, huh?
Not like… smiting me with lightning done. More like that cold silence. The type that says "I saw what you did, again… and I'm not surprised."
I was five when I first felt it... that feeling after. The silence. Back then I thought it was my fault. I said yes. I didn't cry. I let it happen. And afterwards, I thought, "Did I mess up?" But everyone smiled like it was normal, so I just… never brought it up.
And now....
Now I'm older, and it's happening all over. Except no one's forcing me. No one's pushing me. Last night with Tami… it wasn't wrong. She wanted it. I wanted it.
But that's the part that messes me up. I wanted it.
And yet I still feel sick. Still feel like I just spit in God's face. Like I'm playing pretend with my body while my soul's out back throwing up.
They always say God is love. But love ain't supposed to feel like this. Not like last night. That wasn't love. That was skin and impulse and this weird ache to feel something. And for a few minutes I thought I had it.
Then it vanished. And now it's just me, and this guilt, and this silence again. Same as before.