[ALARICS POV]
Like lightning, I rushed away from his room, racing to mine. I could feel my heart thrumming loudly. I could feel it. It was like it was going to burst out of my chest very soon.
Fuck!!! Impossible!! This cannot be happening! No this cannot be happening to me!!
I got to my room and pushed it. Then I raced in and jammed it, bolting like I was being chased by a ghost. The bangs in my chest had attained a higher intensity now.
With my hand on my chest, I made for my bed and I fell on it, rolling on the mattress and groaning in pains. The guilt… It was too much. It was very heavy. It felt like a boulder was on top of me.
"Why him, Selene? Why him? Why pair me with him?" I muttered.
"What have I done? What have I fucking done to deserve this, moon goddess? Why this? I never asked for a second mate." I continued muttering, holding my chest as I writhed painfully on the bed.
Sheila… Ever since she died, I had not looked upon another woman. I had consecrated myself, living a continuous life of chastity for three good years! Three fucking years in that fucking dungeon. I could have joined the other inmates in the dungeon to satiate their sexual urges and fuck whoever I wanted to. But I didn't. I didn't because I love her. I love Sheila.
I remembered her death and I released a loud groan.
If only… if only it didn't happen. if only she heeded to my advice and did not attend that party. If only he didn't touch her.
Everything would have still been rosy. I wouldn't have been imprisoned, I wouldn't have lost all my properties, I wouldn't have come here. To Melissa. To him.
Thinking about it now, I wished I did not only stab his heart. I wish I had cut off his fucking hands so he won't have any hands to molest any other girl in his next life!
Damn!!!
Instantly, tears began to rush out of my eyes. The pain. It was too heavy to bear. Sometimes I thought of killing myself in the dungeon. And I acted on it. I tried to take my life countless times. I wanted to end everything and go join her in heaven where she was.
But no matter how I tried, I couldn't do it. Sheila… her spirit kept appearing to me, telling me not to do it.
Days after days, months after months, I kept mourning her, sticking to my unquenchable resolve to stay chaste for life.
But now, I have broken it! I have broken a vow I have been keeping for years in the prison. I just kissed someone! Not just anyone but my omega nephew! My fucking blood! Mel's son!
"Forgive me, Sheila. Forgive me." I cried as the burning guilt consumed my heart.
I blame myself! I blame myself for agreeing to Melissa's request to come stay with them. If I hadn't come here, maybe I wouldn't have seen him and this incident wouldn't have happened.
But where would I have gone to if I refused to come here? I had lost everything. Fuck!!
Theo... He looked so much like her. He looked so much like Sheila. He was an omega just like her. His arched brows, his pouting lips and his blue eyes. It was those very eyes that always elicited the stupid little flame of attraction in me. And his scent… Fuck me!! That sweet vanilla scent of his almost made me crazy back then at the door. The same one that abused my senses and made me lose control in his room.
"I kissed him! I fucking kissed him!" I shouted, crying softly as anguish flogged me.
I can't still believe that he is my mate. How? The fucking how?
"No! This is a mix-up, Selene. Please tell me this is a mix-up. Please. I can't-"
The anger burst out and I shouted.
"I'M NOT GAY!!"
"I'm not gay. I'm not gay." I dropped to the ground with my knees and cried, repeating the words over and over again, forcing it to register in my brain so that whatever feeling I am having for that boy would quench.
All my life, I have never looked at a man lustfully before. Not the way I looked at that boy few minutes ago in his room. It frightened me.
He looked everything like Sheila. Fragile and insanely cute. Why am I even thinking of him now? Why?
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I shouted, scattering all the pillows on the bed and rumpling the sheets.
With my hands on my head, I pushed myself off the bed and let out a resounding shout.
"FUCK!!"
I swear I never wanted to. I never intend to kiss him. I just wanted to pacify him and understand why he was crying.
But I ended up doing what I wasn't supposed to do. I fucking kissed him! My nephew!
I felt it back there, the strange urge to do more than kissing him. I wanted to take him on his bed there and then. I wanted to fuck him.
But why? Why am I suddenly having these unnatural feelings for this omega nephew of mine I just met? Why, Selene? Why?
He must be a witch! Yes, he must be possessed! Cos I don't understand why I would fall for a boy. A boy for crying out loud!!
What would Melissa do? How would she react when she finds out what I've done? She would say I took advantage of her son's vulnerability. The trust she have for me would die.
More still, what would Gary say?
Fuck!!! I hate this!!
My heart squeezed bitterly and I grinded my teeth in rage.
"And I swore. I swore never to have anything to do with anybody." I muttered as grief kept punching my heart.
Suddenly, hate streamed inside me, blending with my anger.
I need to go back to his fucking room! I will give him a stern warning to avoid me by all means as long as I'm still here!
I jumped off the bed and sprinted to the door in rage. I swear to goddess when I'm done telling him what I want to tell him, he'll never come close to me again. Never!!
With force, I opened the door and when my eyes descended on the little person trembling at the door, my eyes flamed.
"YOU!!"
It was him! The person I wanted to go lash out at! Theodore!
I held his arm and drew him inside. Then I gazed at him, breathing very hard.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE??" I quickly rehearsed in my head, wanting to pour it out immediately.
But when I opened my mouth, the words hanged inside, suddenly turning me to a mute.
I couldn't! I just fucking couldn't! There was this part of me that felt like I would be shouting at Sheila if I shouted at him.
Fuck!! His scent, it was killing me.
Goddess why does he have to smell so nice like this? Aaargh!!!
His voice came out softly.
"I'm sorry, uncle. I'm really sorry."
The moment his soft voice flew into my ears, my fury disappeared.
I stared at his trembling frail figure in front of me and my heart softened, my initial plans withering in my brain.
When my eyes fell on his lush pink lips, my brain deactivated.
He is fucking beautiful!
"I never meant for that to happen. I'm very sorry." His lips shook as he apologized softly.
Compelled by my desires, I held his neck. And slowly, I started lowering my face to his, my eyes trained on that succulent lips of his, wanting to kiss him again.
But before I could do it, I pulled back, quickly recollecting myself.
Instantly, my face turned angry again and I stared into his eyes that was suddenly tinted with fear.
"Go to your room, Theodore! Go and don't ever come here or show yourself near me again! JUST GO!"