Lana's POV
When we got to the restroom, he dropped me and set the shower ready, turned to me and looked at me with inquisitive eyes.. "Would you like me to…bath you?" That was the last thing I expected to hear but something about it felt really nice and I genuinely wanted to say yes, to let myself go, be taken care of, stay without worrying for once and just disappear into the feeling of being cared for even if it's only temporary but I couldn't say yes, because it would be a stretch.
For all I know, I could be his perfect new pawn just like the lady I caught him with in the restroom and somehow that thought brought me sadness.
"You don't have to, I'll be fine, I…can take care of myself from hereon." He didn't say anything and disappeared into the room.
Finally, I had the quietness I so badly needed to process everything that occurred tonight. It was a clash of emotions, everything felt so new and scary at the same time it felt like I had lost sight of my true pursuit, I knew that with everything that happened tonight, it would take me a while to get over it, matter of fact, it could take me forever to get over it.
A part of me felt grateful for the fact that he didn't go through with actual penetration, despite the that I yearned for his touch, I just wasn't ready for it and especially not with him.
As the warm water ran down my body, I couldn't help but be grateful for the feeling of comfort that being alone in this shower gave me. I could still feel my body tingle with excitement, memories from what happened between us came flashing and I could feel my body grow warm again.
I shouldn't be doing this, I shouldn't have let myself go like that, everything happened so fast but what made me feel more confused was the way he handled my body; his touch, his feel, the way his mouth explored every inch, the feeling of ecstasy when he plummeted deeper and deeper into me.
These feelings, what were they? Is this the peak of pleasure? So many questions I would have loved to ask but I had no one to ask about it.
I finish up with the last wash and stepped out of the shower mentally preparing myself for what was to come.
I open the door and stepped into the room but he wasn't there and part of me was glad that he wasn't in the room. I looked at my clothes on my bed and it didn't feel right to wear them, the door opened and Lucien walked in with new clothes.
"You're done, I see, I brought these for you so you do not have to wear those," he said looking at my other clothes and I could tell why the expression on his face lingered.
"Thank you." That was all I could mutter because I knew he was right too, I hardly had enough time for myself much less the time to get new clothes and by the time I pay my mom's hospital bills, I barely have any left to get new clothes. I took the clothes from him and put them on.
"I've ordered your meal so you do not have to go seeking what to eat, matter of fact, we both should have had something before we….," I knew what he meant and though I wished that I could say something, I was too shy to think about what to say.
"I don't want you feeling uncomfortable…."he said but stopped in between and looked at me with the same eyes I remember was the reason we had our episode In the first place.
But I wasn't going to let this carry on further, "I should have you know that I do not intend to continue whatever this ruse is and I must apologize for not stopping it sooner."
The initial warm look on his face went cold just like the cold businessman the world knew him as and instead of saying anything to me, he turned and left for the other room.
Something about his reaction made me want to reach out and beg him to say something but it felt funny to ask, we weren't together and as far as I was concerned, he was my boss now and I should be more concerned about my job.
What if he decides to fire me? Or forces me to quit? What would I do then? Who would I run too? How would I be able to afford my mother's hospital bills now? I had so many thoughts in my mind that before I could process all that has happened so far, I became so hungry.
There was a knock on the door and it was the food lady, I guessed he ordered it. From all angles, I knew Lucien wasn't going to come back into the room and so I tried to sleep. The food was really good and I physically restrained myself from eating the plate. It's been so long since I had something this delicious.
He didn't come back into the room and I was left alone which was fine to be honest because I had so many questions about him and I just couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that he had that much control over my body, It felt so unfair that even at this very moment, my body still tingled from the sensations he made me feel.
The feel of this tongue against my wetness and the way he kissed me as though it was the only thing he wanted to do, how he owned every moment and how he didn't force me into having sex before I was ready for it.
Everything happened so fast I barely had time to pull back and process what was happening at that moment, staring at the clock. I couldn't wait for morning to come so I could get back to my routine and pretend like whatever happened last night was simply a dream and nothing more. My mom was still in the hospital and I couldn't afford to be engaging in games that could potentially cost me my job knowing how much I need money to make sure that she stays safe and here with me.
She was all I had and I wasn't going to let every single effort I've put so far go to ruin because I simply couldn't put my thoughts together. Plus there was absolutely no way that Lucien Crane would want to continue anything with me, I probably was a little distraction for the night and when morning comes he would pursue other finer interests just like he did with the woman in the rest room.
That thought somehow made my heart feel heavy, was I truly a simple distraction or… Twenty two years on this earth and I had never seen a man yearn for me In the same manner he did, never been touched so carefully and gently, never felt the tingling sensations I felt with him. I lay there confused, wishing that my life was much easier than it was now.