Luis Mendoza was having the kind of day that made him question if the universe had a personal vendetta against him.
First, his alarm didn't go off, making him late for his Financial Accounting midterm—again. Then, in his frantic sprint to campus, he'd tripped over nothing, face-planting into a puddle that somehow smelled like expired tuna. And now, as if the cosmos had one final middle finger to offer, his bike had been stolen—for the third time this month.
"Unbelievable," he muttered, shivering under the relentless drizzle. "At this point, I should just accept that life hates me."
That's when the voice boomed in his skull.
"OH COME ON, NOT AGAIN!"
Luis froze. That… wasn't his internal monologue.
The air in front of him shimmered like a heatwave before twisting into the shape of a man—a lanky, disheveled figure in a robe that looked like it had been chewed up by fate itself. His expression was a mix of exasperation and resignation, like a gambler watching his last coin roll away.
"You've gotta be kidding me,"the being groaned, rubbing his temples. "Another one? Really?"
Luis blinked. "Uh… who are you?"
The figure sighed, long and suffering. "Name's Zyx. God of Misfortune. And you, my unlucky friend, are my one thousand three hundred and twenty-fifth host."
Luis stared. "Your… what?"
"Yeah, yeah, let's skip the shock. I've done this speech way too many times."Zyx waved a hand, and a glowing counter appeared in the air:
HOSTS ASSIGNED: 1,324
HOSTS DECEASED: 1,324
CURRENT STREAK: 0 WINS
Luis' stomach dropped. "Wait. All of them died?"
"Yep." Zyx popped the 'p.' "Fastest was twelve seconds. Longest lasted one month. Honestly, I stopped keeping track after the first hundred."
Luis opened his mouth—then shut it. Then opened it again. "So you're telling me I'm basically already dead?"
"Oh, absolutely." Zyx nodded cheerfully. "But hey, look on the bright side! You're part of a legacy now! A very, very short-lived one!"
Before Luis could process that, the ground shook.
A monstrous, six-eyed wolf with bone spurs jutting from its back lunged from the alley, saliva dripping from its fangs.
"Ooooh, Voidfang!" Zyx clapped. "Classic starter monster. Man, these things never get old."
Luis scrambled back. "WHAT DO I DO?!"
"Eh, don't bother. You're gonna die anyway."
"HELP ME!"
"Ugh, fine." Zyx sighed. "Just stand there."
The Voidfang pounced—
And the fire hydrant next to Luis exploded, blasting the monster into a dumpster with enough force to crumple metal. The beast twitched once before dissolving into black smoke.
Luis gasped as a strange energy surged through him. "Did… did I just win?"
"Nah, that was just the tutorial level." Zyx yawned. "The real game starts now."
Sirens wailed in the distance. A mighty voice blared from the sky:
"Warning: Monster incursion start's now. All civilians seek shelter. Hosts, do your best to stay alive ."
Luis' blood ran cold. "Hosts… like me?"
Zyx grinned. "Oh, Luis. You're not just a Host. You're my Host. And that means you're already the underdog."
Somewhere in the distance, a building collapsed.
Luis swallowed hard. "How bad is this gonna get?"
"Ever seen a dumpster fire inside a tornado?" Zyx patted his shoulder. "Worse."
And with that, Luis Mendoza—college dropout, chronic unlucky charm, and now the 1,325th host of the worst god in existence—realized one thing:
This year was going to be hell.