Chapter 13: "Peace, Pancakes, and a Questionable Blessing"
For once, things stayed quiet.
We woke to birdsong and the scent of something vaguely edible. Grubnuk stood proudly by a flat rock, flipping what he called pancakes. They looked like crispy hats. We ate them anyway.
> "This might be the best breakfast I've had since dying," I said.
> "Aw, thanks," Grubnuk beamed. "I used river water and optimism."
Petunia braided flowers into everyone's hair. Even Arcanos. He grumbled but didn't remove them.
> "This is... suspiciously peaceful," Arcanos muttered.
> "Let it happen," I whispered back. "Just... let the soft win for once."
We spent the morning by a crystal-clear stream. Petunia sang to frogs. Grubnuk tried to fish using cheese. I skipped rocks until one skipped upstream, then quietly pretended I hadn't.
The world felt kind. Gentle. Almost like it was apologizing.
That should have been the warning.
Because then— the ground beneath our feet pulsed. A soft thrum, like a heartbeat. The sky shimmered. The flowers blinked.
And the land rose.
A chunk of earth lifted, trees and all, forming a colossal head made of moss and bark and humming soil.
> "HELLO," boomed the earth.
> "NOPE," Arcanos said, already backing away.
> "I BRING A QUESTION AND A GIFT," said the Land-Spirit.
We stared. Even the frogs were stunned.
> "WHAT DO YOU SEEK?" the spirit asked.
> "...Breakfast seconds?" Grubnuk offered.
> "ADVENTURE. CHAOS. SOFTNESS. A SPOON-WIFE. ALL ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS," the land rumbled. "YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH A BIT OF EACH."
The earth pulsed again. Flowers exploded into glitter. Our gear got reorganized. Kevin dive-bombed from the sky carrying a single egg.
Then the land... collapsed back down.
Like nothing happened.
We stood in silence, flower crowns askew. A single tree burped.
> "...I hate it here," Arcanos muttered.
> "This is my favorite day so far," Petunia said.
> "I think I leveled up spiritually," Grubnuk added, eyes wide.
I just sat down. Next to the glitter flowers. Next to my chaos-married crew.
And waited for whatever came next.
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End of Chapter 13 (When peace talks, sometimes it shouts in all caps.)
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