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I Have a Perverted System!

LegendaryToester
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Chapter 1 - The Young Farmer With A Dream

Year 528, Year of the Unicorn.

The sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky, casting warm rays over the bustling village of Solmere. The streets were alive with activity; children squealed with laughter as they chased each other, armed with colorful water shooters, while housewives negotiated prices at the busy marketplace, their baskets filled with fresh produce and fragrant herbs. 

Andreas Barnes stomped through Solmere's midday chaos with a sun-drenched shirt draped over his tousled black hair like a hood and dried mud boots that left sprinkles of dirt with every stride. His skin, bronzed and tight over corded muscle, glistened with sweat, drawing stares.

A ripe apricot squished between his fingers as he bit into it, juice dribbling down his chin and trailing along his throat, mixing with the salt of his sweat. He let it smear, unconcerned, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand as he passed the tavern, then paused across the square by the old stone well was Mara.

Mara sold rosewater soaps with her mother. She was lounging against the wall with her back arched just enough to be deliberate, her arms crossed beneath her breasts in a way that made the eyes in the market find their way to her eventually.

She was just what he was looking for. He needed some relief. He was tired. He would rise before dawn, the darkness barely lifting as he began to tend to the crops. He toiled tirelessly until the sun peaked, bringing warmth and light to the land. Though the work was exhausting, it was essential for Andreas. 

He knew that every coin he earned brought him one step closer to becoming an adventurer, perhaps even a knight, but at the moment, he just needed a reward for all that hard work.

He tilted his head, spat an apricot pit onto the dusty road, and started walking.

She didn't move as he came close enough to smell the earth on him, the musk of sweat and sun and labor. Her voice was a smirk in itself. "You stink like horses and bad decisions."

He stepped close enough that his shadow fell across her, blocking the sun. His lip curled slightly.

"Last I remember, you liked horses."

"I like bad decisions more."

His hand lifted, thumb brushing a stray curl from her cheek, and she didn't flinch when his callused fingers brushed against her jaw.

"Where's your ma?" he asked, low, his gaze locked on hers.

"Inside. Counting coin. Won't miss me for a while."

"Good."

Mara didn't bother with pleasantries. She grabbed his wrist and turned, pulling him with her, skirts swishing with every quick stride as she led him down a narrow alley behind the spice merchant's stall, past crates of cinnamon bark and hanging ropes of dried chilies. They ducked through the low stone arch into an abandoned storeroom, its single window shuttered and its floor littered with burlap sacks that muffled sound.

The door clunked shut behind them.

Andreas didn't wait. He pressed her up against the wall, mouth crashing against hers, his hand finding her thigh and dragging it up around his waist as he groaned into her lips. She tasted like mint tea and a little smoke. His hands were rough, urgent, pulling at the laces of her bodice while she yanked his belt loose with practiced fingers, her hips grinding into the rugged ridge in his trousers.

"Fuck, you're tense," she whispered into his ear, nipping the lobe as he pulled her dress up around her waist.

"Been working all day," he growled. 

His cock sprang free with a heavy throb, his precum already slicking the head. He didn't tease her. He just pressed in, feeling her slick heat coat him as he drove up into her with a low grunt. She gasped, clutching at his back, nails digging into sunburned skin.

"Mmn—nngh, gods, Andreas—ahh—"

He thrust deeper, one arm hooked under her thigh to keep her open for him, the other braced above her head. Her back thudded gently against the wall with every snap of his hips, her moans echoing softly in the little stone space.

"Unh—uhhh, fuck—you're so tight—ahhh—"

She bit his shoulder, muffling a cry, legs trembling as she clenched around him. "You gonna—mmnn—come inside again, farmboy?"

His breath hitched, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "Ya know me, I've never been one to stop midway!"

Her nails clawed lower, digging into his ass, forcing him in deeper.

He buried his face in her neck, the heat of his breath a furnace against her pulse, his body going taut as he slammed into her one last time and came with a shuddering groan, thick and warm inside her. She arched, toes curling, her climax chasing his as her cunt fluttered around him, slick and wet and full.

They remained in that intimate embrace for a solid minute, panting as their slick skin pressed together in the dim alleyway. The world outside buzzed with the evening hustle. Finally, Mara broke the silence, her voice low and serious.

She broke the silence first. "If I end up pregnant, you better not vanish like some drunk's mistake."

He chuckled softly, leaning his forehead against hers, their breath mingling in the cool night air. "You know I ain't like that. Not after what happened to my folks.." 

Her face softened. "Sorry. Just… don't want to raise no child alone." she replied, a hint of regret in her eyes. "I'm sorry for ruining the mood, but I must return to work. If Ma finds out I disappeared with you again, she's going to kill me. And remember, you owe me peaches—the good kind from the market." 

"Next time I see you, I'll bring the sweetest peaches they have," he promised, a smile spreading across his face.

With that, she slipped away into the alley's shadows, leaving Andreas standing there, her words echoing in his mind and transporting him back to his childhood.

He could vividly recall the day when his parents were taken from him during The Orc invasion Of Solmere in the Year of the Fairy, 522. He was just twelve years old at the time. His father, a diligent farmer nurturing the land, and his mother, pregnant and filled with dreams for their growing family, had been caught in the chaos. The loss of them left him utterly alone—the event solidified his resolve to escape the life of a commoner and become an adventurer. Still, six long years had passed, and nothing of significance had changed.

He was a farmer doing handyman work just like his dad, and sure, he trained with the Beginner Mana Manual that the old adventurer Mark gifted him all those years ago when he lost his family, but he still couldn't form a mana core.

It was almost laughable that he was making no progress in the grand scheme. In reality, the only thing he was good at was being a hornball who had many women he slept with.

While deep in his thought, he suddenly heard a voice.

"System initialization..."

"Initialization complete..."

"System is now Activated."

Andreas looked around, wondering if anyone else was in the alley with him. He couldn't see anyone. His first thought was that he'd gone crazy from grief, but then he heard the voice again.

"The System May be opened with thoughts. Please think 'open system.' "

Letting himself be guided by the voice, he thought.

Open System.

Light bloomed before him. A scroll of glowing script unfurled in the air, suspended in golden radiance. He gawked at the words written there: 

[System

Name: Andreas: Barnes

Mana Core rank: None

Race: Human 

Physique: Mortal 

Skills: Farming Level 7, Handyman level 5, cooking level 4, Pleasuring women level 2

System Points:0

Store

Time chamber

Quest]

The voice spoke to him again.

Before he could speak, the voice returned.

"You may rename the system at any time. You may speak to me through your thoughts."

'Alright then,' Andreas thought. 'What in the nine hells are you?'

"I am your System. A guide, a tool—born from your experience and connected to the Universe's own truths. My purpose is to help you grow. Whatever your goals, I will help you reach them."

'How do you do that?'

"Through Universal Experience—earned from your actions, growth, and quests. This experience lets me draw skills from the universe's archive, granting you mastery beyond normal learning. These are not mere lessons. They are divine levels of ability—effortless, efficient, eternal."

Andreas's eyes narrowed at the glowing scroll. 'So you're tellin' me I've been blessed with... knowledge? That I can get stronger... better... just by livin' and workin'?'

"Correct. Repetition breeds growth. Growth breeds experience. Experience becomes mastery."

'And the missions?'

"Tailored to your spirit. Your first tasks:

Enjoy the Fruit of Mara's Mother – Reward: 5 UXP

Become an Adventurer – Reward: 5 UXP

Impregnate Someone – Reward: 100 UXP"

Andreas barked a laugh. "You're a damn pervert."

"I reflect the soul of my wielder."

Andreas wiped his face, shaking his head in disbelief. "Fine. You wanna play it that way? Then I'll name you what you are."

He grinned.

"The Perverted System."