One day she finally asked me--
"Why don't you ever come, Daisy?"
"I want to show you my house... my garden, the terrace. Even my mother wants to meet you. I've told her about you-- she finds you fascinating. but you never came."
She said it so gently. not accusing, just curious, hopeful.
"Are you ever gonna come to my house?"
and then almost whispering, "Please don't say no", " will you?"
and personally, I also wanted to go, I really did.
but I never dared to.
My mother never let me go anywhere-- not beyond the terrace, not down the streets, not to Kathy's house.
still...
without thinking, without giving myself time to explain or hesitate, I made her a promise,
maybe I just wanted to see her smile, even if I'm not sure I could keep it.
The next day somehow, I gathered the courage to ask my mother if I could go to Kathy's,
My hands were sweaty, feet too-- so sweaty, in fact, I could see my footprints trialing behind me-- clear as day on the marble floor.
My heart was pounding like I had just come to face-to-face with a lion.
That kind of fear- where you know the answer might be no,, and you already feel the sting of it before even its spoken... I hated hearing NO; I was terrified she'd refuse, that I'd have to go back to Kathy and break a promise I barely had the right to make.
but still... I asked her, she didn't respond, she just stare at me.
literally for two full minutes, No expressions, no words... just that blank unreadable face. like she was trying to figure out if I'd lost my mind... or if I was just pretending to be brave.
No one could've guessed what she was thinking in that moment. Her face gave away nothing-- completely blank,
and then finally she spoke,
"At whom?"
I blinked, "What?"
" The same girl who visits us in the evenings?... What's her name again?", she tilted her head, squinting slightly, confused.
"I remember you told me once... I forgot."
"K-Kathy..."
I shuttered, panicking.
She raised an eyebrow, " sorry, I didn't catch that, can you speak clearly and why is your voice shivering?"
I paused, took a breadth, and tried to sound like I knew what I was doing.
Released a sigh, pulled my shoulder back.
"Her name is Kathy."
I said it calmly, trying to hold my voice steady.
She just went, "Hmmm". and gave a slow nod.
then suddenly, she leaned back against the wall and let out a long sigh, her whole-body relaxing.
that part? that sigh? that was typical.
cut for some reason, this time... something felt off.
something about her unsettled me. like-- something wasn't normal inside her.
she went silent. for way too long. didn't answer. didn't say no. didn't say yes. just... stood there
and I stood too, wasting minutes like a fool, waiting for permission she clearly didn't want to give.
I started wondering, why all this drama?
If she didn't want me to go, why couldn't she just say no?
honestly... I've thought about it so many times.
maybe there's something wrong with her. like, mentally.
her mood swings are unreal. sometimes she's angry, then sad, then suddenly overexcited-- all within the same hour.
She's in her late thirties, but sometimes she acts like she's eighteen, or even younger.
After a while, she said something-- but the words weren't clear, I couldn't make out what she was trying to say.
Eventually I pieced them together and figured she was asking,
"Where is her home, how much time will it take to reach there? and when will you be back?"
I answered, holding onto a little hope--
"I don't know her exact address... but it's somewhere between the second street and my school."
She looked at me sharply.
"So then-- have you thought about how you'll go there without knowing the exact location?"
I didn't flinch this time.
"Kathy will come here to pick me up", I said with confidence.
"We already talked about it."
And then-- she agrees. just like that.
that was the first time, I think, she ever let me go anywhere beyond the terrace. but her agreement felt... strange. Too quiet.
and for some reason... that unsettled me more than a "NO" ever would.