It felt like a heavy weight pressing on my tiny heart. I just wanted to be released from the fear of dying... drastically.
I stood at a highway intersection, staring into all four directions. Waiting… to see from where death might arrive.
Suddenly, a truck sped toward me. I froze, the breath was caught in my throat, with the eyes wide.
As it neared, I closed my eyes and was all ready to blink the life away and embrace the death.
(Then I heard a thunderous crash. It felt like something collided with the earth, and it was all destructed. The noise made my ears numb. Before I could make sense of it, everything turned black. A grey shadow stood in front of me.)
Jeena: "Why do I feel dizzy? Why is everything blurred and black? Who are you? Why has everything stopped? Am I... dead?"
Voice (Shadow): "I'm your soul. You are such a foolish woman to jump before your death while you got to live miraculously. It isn't your time yet. You can't control death.
Moreover even we don't decide when to enter or leave the human body. Everything's already destined. If you think you can die as you wish and push me away… you can't.
If you've been given a limited time, maybe it's a chance. A chance to live again... or to die meaningfully."
(It felt like my soul had stepped out of my body. Suddenly the shadow disappeared and the sound of sirens struck my ears to get me to the senses. I turned toward the sound. To my left, two trucks had collided. The truck that was about to hit me… was struck by another one speeding in from the side.)
I was terrified. I ran from the scene.
It was early evening, the air thick with noise and confusion. I couldn't make sense of the chaos. The accident felt like my fault, but I didn't know what I had done. If it wasn't my fault, then why was I filled with this strange regret and guilt? Was it because I tried to end my life? Or because I'd become a part of something bigger?
(Jeena was overwhelmed with anxiety. She kept rubbing her fingers against each other. Her breath was unsteady as she sat down at a nearby bus stop. The images of the accident wouldn't leave her mind. She suddenly wondered, what about the truck drivers? Were they okay? That worry pushed her toward the hospital.)
When I entered the hospital, the staff were rushing everywhere. I saw injured people.., some bandaged, others bleeding. The sirens buzzed in my ears. Everything spun in a dizzying blur.
(Jeena had fear in her eyes. She lost balance and collided with a man. The physical touch brought her back to her senses and only then she did realize she'd been hallucinating.)
I made my way to the ward where the injured drivers were admitted. The one who had hit the truck from the side had survived with just some bruises. The police were questioning him.
He was drunk.
His statement? He said he'd seen a ghost on the road and sped toward it in fear. Then suddenly another truck appeared, and they collided.
What I could think of,..was... he may had considered me as a ghost in his drunken state.
The other driver..,the one which was about to hit me from the front was in the ICU. I had seen him try to steer away, but maybe he didn't have control over the brakes or engine.
His family waited anxiously outside his room.
It was dark now. I had nowhere to go and maybe nowhere I needed to be. My life had paused. I waited outside the ICU, wanting to apologize.
Hours passed.
He finally regained consciousness. His family rejoiced, tears in their eyes, whispering prayers. A nurse asked them to leave so he could rest. As the room emptied, I slowly pushed the door and stepped inside.
In a hushed voice, I said, "I'm sorry."
He opened his eyes and stared at me.
"I didn't mean for this to happen," I continued. "If I'm at fault... I didn't mean for you to end up on that stretcher instead of me."
(He interrupted with words I never expected.)
Old Driver: "I don't know why you were standing in the middle of the road like that. But I need you to know something. I didn't save you today. I was the one who was saved."
(Jeena stared at him, puzzled.)
Old Driver: "My truck...,everything failed. Brakes, steering… nothing worked. I was going straight. And right behind where you stood... was a cliff. If that crash hadn't happened, I would've fallen off and died. That accident… saved my life."
Jeena: "I'm just relieved you're okay. And that... I wasn't the reason."
Old Driver: "The way you stood there...still, quiet...,it gave me chills. I thought you were the Grim Reaper, sent to collect my soul. I saw my whole life flash before my eyes in a second."
"I don't know what made you stand there, but I want to tell you this...,when death stands right in front of you, you realize how precious life truly is."
"Don't do something like that again. One day, the death will knock at your door. When it does, you will have no choice but to put down all your baggages..,heavy and light and hold the hand of death and go peacefully. You don't get to delay it. You don't get to escape it. But you also don't need to invite it early."
Jeena: "You've seen more of life than I ever have. I understand. Thank you… and I hope you recover well. And… thanks for not mentioning me to the cops."
(I left the room silently. As I walked down the corridor, his words replayed in my head. He said he saw a flashback of his life and every memory appearing in an instant. But why hadn't I seen anything? Why did nothing flash before my eyes when I faced the death?)
Why didn't I think of anyone or anything?
Was my memory... void?
TO BE CONTINUED...
PREVIEW TO CHAPTER 3:
Some people just lose their life in a moment but it feels like I have been given a notice period of my death...
My heart could have suddenly stopped breathing and maybe I could have also died in a moment..
But the limited time I was given...,maybe a chance to live once again.
So I'm going to live and die happily and meaningfully.