The next morning, Wang Li woke up with his arms tied.
Not metaphorically.
Literally.
His wrists were bound by pink spirit silk, and somehow, someone had written "Property of Jade Moon Pavilion" across his chest with glowing ink.
"Who…" he groaned, only to see Little Fox's fluffy tail disappearing out the window with a giggle.
"Consider it branding!" she shouted.
BANG!
The door burst open—again.
This time it wasn't a panicked junior disciple.
It was the Sect Master's personal messenger, a beautiful woman in a black silk robe, her expression colder than an immortal glacier.
Her spiritual pressure was… terrifying.
She handed him a scroll.
> "By the decree of the Sect Master, Disciple Wang Li is to receive a personal maid from the Heavenly Administration Pavilion, effective immediately. This is to monitor, restrain, and document his actions and ensure his future romantic transgressions are… managed."
Wang Li blinked. "Wait. A maid?!"
The woman stepped aside.
Behind her was a new girl.
And she was stunning.
Lan Xue'er – The Ice-Blooded Recorder of Chastity
She had silver-blue hair that cascaded like winter moonlight, pale skin that shimmered like frost, and icy sapphire eyes that didn't blink.
Her robes were tight, elegant, and bore the sigil of the Heavenly Record Pavilion, a division known for emotionless, cold, rule-obsessed cultivators.
"I am Lan Xue'er," she said flatly. "From today onward, I will be your personal attendant."
"I-I don't need a maid," Wang Li said, holding the blanket up to his chin. "I need a barrier formation, a full-body detox, and maybe a monk."
She ignored him and walked into the room like she owned it.
"You will rise at dawn. Eat a balanced meal. Train with discipline. And abstain from all carnal temptations."
Wang Li looked like he'd just been sentenced to life in purgatory.
"You're joking."
"I do not joke. Nor do I permit distractions. You will cultivate, not fornicate."
At that moment, the door creaked again.
Lin Ruoyan entered, yawning and stretching, wearing robes that were… suspiciously loose.
"Good morning, Husband~" she sang.
Lan Xue'er immediately raised her jade token. "Stay six feet away."
"What?"
"Violation of Chastity Code 37A. Refrain from addressing him as 'husband.'"
"Bite me."
"No. But I may freeze you."
Wang Li stared as a cold wind filled the room.
This was bad.
This was very, very bad.
Elsewhere in the sect, chaos bloomed like weeds after a rainstorm.
The Heaven Sword Peak accused the Jade Moon Pavilion of hoarding Wang Li for themselves.
The Phoenix Flame Palace demanded a "rotation schedule."
The Outer Sect Girls' Union protested for "equal husband rights."
The Elders?
They had given up.
One Elder was found meditating inside a wine jar.
Another fled to the mountains and claimed a bear attacked him when it was just a disciple delivering another Wang Li scandal scroll.
Later That Day – Training Field
Lan Xue'er forced Wang Li into a brutal spiritual combat exercise.
"Dodge," she said.
Wang Li didn't.
A glacier-sized ice fist slammed him into the dirt.
"Your left chakra is blocked. You haven't dual cultivated properly."
"I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STOP!"
"Unfortunate."
Another ice spell launched.
This time he barely dodged.
Lin Ruoyan, Bai Mei, and even Little Fox watched from the sidelines with popcorn.
"Should we help him?"
"...Nah. He deserves this."
Suddenly—
BOOM!
A golden arrow shot through the sky and landed between them, exploding in a shower of phoenix fire.
Everyone turned.
Descending from the skies, standing atop a flaming golden crane, was a new woman.
She had long legs, long lashes, and long grudges.
Huang Yanyan, Peak Princess of the Phoenix Flame Palace, a peerless beauty known for her temper and her massive… cultivation.
"You!" she pointed at Wang Li. "You dared touch Feng Yuling but ignored my divine decree?!"
Wang Li blinked. "Wait, what decree?"
"You were supposed to marry me last year after saving my spirit beast!"
"Wait, that was your beast? I thought it was a flying chicken!"
"YOU DARE!"
She raised her hand.
Flames surged.
Lan Xue'er activated her ice barrier instantly. "Engaging in battle due to romantic miscommunication is against Code 51C."
"You and your codes!"
"And your flaming crane!"
Wang Li screamed. "Why does every woman I meet want to fight me, marry me, or kill me?! Sometimes all three!"
Little Fox pouted. "Because you're cute."
Lin Ruoyan smirked. "Because you're dangerous."
Lan Xue'er wrote in her scroll: Subject has shown signs of irresistible yin affinity and is terminally flirtatious.
Wang Li's Inner Thoughts
> I just wanted to cultivate.
I just wanted to be low-key.
Now I have five lovers, a personal chastity maid, a fire princess out for blood, and a sect betting pool named "Who Will Marry Wang Li?"
What have I become?!