Her hands are on my face again. Gentle. Practiced.
Too practiced.
She looks at me like I'm the answer to a question no one ever let her ask.
"Please," she purrs, but it's not desperation. It's a tease. A weapon. She knows what she's doing—and that's the part that scares me.
I should stop her.
I should say something.
But all I do is blink. And that's enough for her to take it as permission.
She moves with confidence that doesn't belong to her. Not really. It belongs to whoever taught her that this was her greatest value. She unbuttons the top of her dress with the same elegance a soldier uses to polish a rifle. Not with love. Not with thrill.
Just duty. Just muscle memory.
"You don't have to—" I start.
"I want to," she interrupts. But even that line feels like it's been said before. Maybe not to me. Maybe not even aloud. But it's in her bones.
She does want this. Maybe for the wrong reasons. Perhaps because it's the only power she knows how to wield. But she's wielding it all the same.
Her body presses into mine. Warm. Willing. Inviting.
It started off slow, the sense of it all. That deep feeling within my chest, within my stomach. I refrained from touching her at all, but she would still go on and grab my hand.
And there.
I felt that pang in my head.
It was enough, a jumpstart to give me strength.
I pushed her off of me, and since the bed was large enough already she had just rolled over to the other side.
Jex looked at me, not shocked, but disappointed. I was there, on the edge of the bed, panting. Out of breath. Tired. I just want to sleep, but I can't do that in here. Not while she's still a Oni with a mission.
My eyes were heavy, almost forcing me to shut them closed. Only for a second to gain some energy.
The pang in my head, felt like a headache. A migraine. The same disgust I get when I'm near Flugel. It's weird, intoxicating.
I know Flugel had already raised her. But this never answered my question on what made Jex so different from the other Oni. Was it—?
My hand twitches, and I look on. I stare at Jex, she's timid now, scared. Not afraid to move, but slowly clawing her way back to me. I feel the level of disgust more and more.
Why did she mention Flugel, why did she drop cryptic messages, why is she doing this?
I can't grant her the "freedom" she was looking for.
So why did she think that I could—
The dots connected in my head lightspeed.
My hands shook slightly at the realization, and then came the next wave of disgust, and nausea.
I could feel it uprising within me. My body turned around quickly and bolted for the bathroom. When my head was over the sink, the contents released itself.
My body leaned against it, just anything for support. My own vomit was in the sink.
And my face, I tried, I really did, but I couldn't hide the disgust that was there.
This girl isn't just trying to give herself to me.
She's trying to hand over what Flugel made her think she was worth.
And I almost took it. I almost confirmed the design.
I almost let this system win.
I almost slept with Flugel's legacy.
I almost became the next Flugel.
My legs gave out, barely any strength lift to stand. I slumped against the wall, sliding down slowly.
Breathing rigid, I wanted to back up. My legs kicking something that isn't there. Like running from an unimaginable force.
Only that it was never there.
I tried to blink, and just close my eyes. Sleep, anything. But the disgust. The nausea. It wouldn't let me, not now.
I don't know how long it was, but I heard footsteps enter the bathroom, fading in and out. Can't remember if sound always echo'd in here.
But there she was, Jex. Bent over to my level. I couldn't read her face, my eyes wouldn't let me do so for long before I pulled away.
She didn't say much, and when she did, I barely heard it. Any voice sounded distorted, and to me, never sounded real.
As close as she got, I wanted to back up further, but my back was already to the wall. Like an insect scurrying away.
However, she didn't look at me with the same intent as she did before. I couldn't tell, but if she wanted to do anything to me, she could.
I'm helpless, powerless, and nowhere left to go.
But Jex didn't.
Instead, her eyes.
She was pitying me.
What could I have done to be pitied?
And why would it come from Flugel's spawn of all people?
Her hand reaches out for me, but she pulls back. Too scared perhaps. Probably realizing the extent of the damage she's done.
I don't think much about forgiveness, but that I just want this over.
And she continues to stare. She says a couple words at most, none of them sincerely ringing in my head entirely, but this one sticks out.
"Why…why do you look more broken than me?"
She's questioning me. And in a way, questioning my sense.
As if she's staring into a mirror.
I'm not broken.
Just tired.
I don't know what happened, but when I regained the little strength I had.
I found myself smiling.
Oddly, and weirdly.
It didn't feel genuine, or anything. Just…there.