"Last time on Total Drama Island…" Chris was now back to doing the recap himself. "Yours truly was off MC'ing a swanky awards show. So Chef took over as host. And man, was he brutal to the campers. Not only did he dump them in the middle of the woods to fend for themselves, but he left them alone with scary dude Sasquatchanakwa! They ran helter, they ran skelter. They ran into a crowded bat cave. Massive mistake, I might add. In a cruel display of tactics by Heather, to throw Lincoln off his game she revealed that she rigged the votes to get Dawn kicked off followed swiftly by a kick to his treasures. And it worked far better then she could have hopped as it was the snowball himself who ended up walking down the dreaded Dock of Shame, but was made a tad bit sweeter by a heartfelt reunion with his hippie sweetheart. It's moments like this that make me almost value the worth of the human spirit. The keyword being almost, as we still have three glutton-for-punishment campers heading into our most exciting challenge yet! Don't believe me? Then I triple dog dare you to watch this episode of Total. Drama. Island!"
To think, this moment was finally here. The show was in the semi-finals now with only three campers left on the island. The devilish, manipulative queen bee Heather, the bad boy and delinquent with a soft spot Duncan, and the artistic pale goth girl Gwen. And how were these three spending their morning? Well…
"Campers! Welcome to the Semi-Finals!" Chris' voice boomed through the loudspeakers to start off this day which the host knew was certainly gonna be an episode to remember. "Today, we reward our challengers with an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. That's right, genuine food bi-products served with fresh ingredients relatively close to their expiration dates."
Sure enough, Chris was telling the truth. At the mess hall, the final three campers were being served as many pancakes as they wanted and they looked…semi-edible. Sure they had some hair and fingernails in them but with a few exceptions, it was easily the best meal they were given so far on the island. Though that didn't stop Heather from cringing as Chef gave her one he scrapped off the ceiling due to flipping it too high.
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"So I actually made it to the final three." Gwen couldn't help but smirk a bit in pride as she wrote something down in her diary. "Just goes to show you how far a bad attitude can get you."
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
Heather was currently doing her make-up to make sure she looked her best. The show was nearly at its end and she needed to look absolutely flawless. "Whatever. I knew I'd make it to the end. Big shocker." Heather knew without a doubt she'd be the one to win this whole thing. She was the only one that had the true drive to win at any cost at all. "I just can't believe weird goth girl made it."
CONFESSIONAL – DUNCAN
"Heh, so it's me vs two chick huh? This should be pretty interesting." Duncan said confidently as he whittled a stick he had with his knife. "I'm set on winning that cash prize so whatever you got planned for today Chris, bring it on."
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"Yeah, the money would be awesome. But you know what would be sweeter? Making sure Heather loses." Gwen honestly wanted nothing more than to see the look on Heather's face when she lost, and the goth would do anything if it meant seeing that and she was sure Duncan would be happy to help out.
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
"Luckily, I'm up against the freak show and the escaped convict." Heather truly didn't see Gwen and Duncan as threats and thought she could easily defeat them in any challenge. "So they may as well just give me the check, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
CONFESSIONAL – DUNCAN
"Ya learn a lot of useful skills in Juvie." Duncan grinned as he spun around the chive he carved using his knife. "How to make a chive, climbing, fixing stuff, breaking stuff, and you gotta learn yourself how to tough it out. One time on one of my first days some of the guys placed a bunch of rabid racoons in my pillow. Aaaah, good times."
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"If I win, I'm gonna buy Camp Wawanakwa so I can burn it down and turn it into a graveyard!" If there was anything Gwen wanted almost as much as Heather's defeat, it was to never see this island again, and destroying it would only help with that.
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
"When I win, I'm thinking of my own spin-off series." Heather gave her piece of how she would spend the money as she applied mascara. "The World According to Heather."
CONFESSIONAL – DUNCAN
"If I win I should probably use some of the money to get myself outta Juvie," Duncan explained what he would use some of the money for and as many fond memories of Juvie as he had he rather get out so he could do more stuff in the outside world. "After that, might get my own garage where I can work on cars and stuff. That could be cool, and I'm sure Courtney will think it's hot~"
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"Personally, I've had enough drama here to last a lifetime," Gwen has just had enough. Frankly, she was surprised she hasn't lost her mind yet with how much she's been humiliated, disgusted, and tortured. "I mean…I can tolerate Duncan a little, but eight weeks of Heather was about as much fun as a mouth full of impacted molars."
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
"Sure, eight weeks with these losers is cause for insanity, but at least the mother ship knows where Gwen is now so they can retrieve her." Heather mocked her fellow final three members after she finished applying her make up. "And the SWAT team can lock Duncan back up in solitary confinement where he belongs!"
CONFESSIONAL – DUNCAN
"It'll be nice to be a free man again, free from both prison and this stupid place." Duncan banged on the wall to the outhouse for emphasis. As he said before, this place was actually worse than Juvie. "Combined with Juvie and this stinking island it's been forever since I've actually been in the outside world."
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
"Now Duncan might be a problem, his tough demeanor and diverse set of skills has won him a fair share of challenges." Heather was aware enough to know that Duncan could certainly become a threat. "Thinking about it I don't think there's a challenge he really did bad in other then when he lost to Lindsey in the Extreme Sports challenge. Thankfully, Gwen has no strength. She's just a low-rent gutter punk with dragon breath and ugly hair."
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"Heather's strength is obviously her bottomless pit of mean. I'm banking on her massive ego to be her downfall." Gwen pointed out one of Heather' glaring weakness'. As annoying as the queen bee was, Gwen certainly has gotten to know her strengths and weakness' and they could prove useful to the goth. "Duncan's biggest skill is probably his toughness, takes a lot to knock him down but he's got a few soft spots."
CONFESSIONAL – DUNCAN
"I think Lincoln said it himself, Heather is lazy and her biggest skill is getting others to do work for her, and ain't no way that's happening at this point in the game.
LATER THAT DAY
After there campers had their fill of breakfast and the afternoon rolled by, it was time for the second-to-last challenge of Total Drama Island. Chris, Chef, Heather, Duncan, and Gwen were all gathered up at the amphitheater with the final three contestants behind stands like a traditional game show, Chris walked right up to the campers and started things up. "Campers. Welcome to the semifinals. The producers ran out of insane ways of torturing you, so… they asked the ousted campers for ideas. Turns out they had a lot. They provided us with the sickest, most twisted and insane dares imaginable in TDI's version of… Spin the Bottle!" Chris then gestured to Chef who was next to an object covered in a sheet. Chef then removed the sheet and revealed a large wooden wheel with a giant purple bottle as the spinner. On the wheel were pictures of all the eliminated campers. "Starting with…"
"Izzy!"
"Trent!"
"Cody!"
"Juuuuuuustin~"
"Noah!
"Leshawna!"
"Lindsay!"
"Beth!"
"Tyler!"
"Harold!"
"Lincoln!"
"DJ!"
"Geoff!"
"Bridgette!"
"Owen!"
"Courtney!"
"Eva!"
"Dawn!"
"Katie and Sadie!"
"And the home-schooled, misogynistic country boy, Ezekiel."
"Put 'em all together, and we've got a high stakes game of…I Triple Dog Dare You!" Chris revealed the challenges name as he looked to the camera and pointed both of his fingers at it.
"What is this, grade five?" Heather rolled her eyes over the childish nature of this challenge. "Why don't we just do seven minutes of heaven in a skanky basement closet?"
"Sounds good, I'll guard the key. Don't worry I'll probably remember to let you back out." Duncan joked earning a glare from Heather.
"Each player will take turns spinning the bottle. The camper you land on determines the dare you'll perform." Chris explained the rules as he spun the giant bottle on the wheel. "You can take the dare yourself and win a get-out-of-dare-freebie," Chris showed off a smaller version of the giant bottle on the wheel. "Or inflict the dare on a fellow camper in hopes of booting them out."
"And if we refuse to do the dare?" Heather asked the million-dollar question.
"Oh, not a good option." Chris quickly explained the consequences of not going along with a dare. And it was a big one. "Anyone who chickens out of their dare will be sent directly to the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers. Do not go to bonfire. Do not collect marshmallow. And do not get to win $100,000." All of the remaining campers gasped at this news.
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"Wow, an instantaneous elimination…good one." Gwen had to admit, at this point of the game something like this was a clever twist.
"Okay. Who's ready to humiliate themselves first?" Chris asked, eager to get this challenge started.
At first all the campers were quiet, Heather simply looking back and forth and Duncan whistling innocently. It was like this for a few moments until Gwen sighed and stood up. "Oh, what the heck. Let's get this over with." Deciding to just rip the band-aid off, Gwen went over to the wheel and spun in, Chris pulling out a series of cards out of his pocket as they all watched the giant bottle spin.
CONFESSIONAL – CHRIS
"Okay. So here's the deal. Chef and I have a little side bet going. Like when we betted on who would kiss first between Lincoln and Dawn." Chris revealed to the audience. "Whoever pukes first has to pony up a hundred bucks."
Everyone watched as the wheel kept spinning and spinning until it eventually stopped on everyones favorite snowball, Lincoln. "Okay. Let's get this party started!" Chris grinned as he pulled up the card that had Lincoln's dares on them. "Drink a glass of Platypus milk!" Everyone's eyes widened as Chef walked onto the stage, carrying a glass of funky looking milk with him. "Graciously provided by our friend from down under, Edward!"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on." Duncan spoke up as Gwen cringed while looking at the milk. "Last I checked Edward was a dude."
"Yeah, but as we know Platypi are little freaks of nature." Chris pointed out an obvious fact about the mighty platypus. "And while the females have the…parts to make milk the old-fashioned way, the male platypus' can sweatmilk!"
"So wait…" Gwen's eyes widened as she looked at the glass, her disgust growing after hearing the news. "You mean this glass of milk is really-"
"A big ol glass of platypus sweat!" Chris revealed making the contestants cringe even more in pure disgust. "We put the little guy in a sauna and here is the results! So Gwen, what'll it be? Will you take the dare yourself, or dare one of your fellow competitors? Either way, someones drinking some platypus sweat!"
Gwen's disgusted cringe then turned into a smirk as she knew exactly what she wanted to do. "I triple dog dare Heather!" Heather's eyes widened in horror as Duncan started to laugh.
Chef then held the glass up to Heather with queen bee very reluctantly taking it and nearly gag as she looked at it. "Hahahaha!" Duncan continued to laugh his butt off at the situation. "Want an umbrella with your drink?"
"Shut…up…" Heather growled through her teeth before frowning and looking at the milk. She had no choice but to do this, if she didn't then she could kiss that 100-grand goodbye. Biting the bullet, Heather put the glass to her lips and chugged it down as fast as she could. She finished in only two seconds, looking absolutely miserable when she was gone with a big platypus milk mustache on her face. Heather then started to violently gag as her drink started to come back up, but the queen bee managed to keep it down. Duncan and Gwen enjoying every second of it.
"I'll make sure to tell Edward you liked it." Chris winked at Heather, the queen bee doing her best to growl back at the host but feeling like crap right now. "But you better stop flailing around back there Heather because it's your turn to come up and spin."
Sighing as she wiped her mustache away, Heather walked up to the wheel as she tried to shake off the immense feeling of disgust so she can focus on the challenge. Spinning the wheel, the giant bottle eventually stopped on a picture of Ezekiel. "Ezekiel's dare is…" Chris began as he held the card with Ezekial's dare. "Chew your own toenail. Slowly."
"Gwen!" Heather didn't hesitate to push this dare onto the girl who just made her drink Platypus milk. "I dare Gwen!" Sighing, Gwen got up from her seat and sat down on a stool provided to her by Chef. The goth girl then took off her boots and socks and held her foot out, allowing Chef to clip off her big toenail and provide it to her on a platter. "Don't choke on it honey." Giving Heather a quick glare, Gwen then inserted her toenail into her mouth and started crunching on it. "Uh uh uh. He said chew it slowly." Heather pointed out much to Gwen's frustration.
Gwen then slowed down her chewing until she was eventually able to easily swallow it. "There. Satisfied?" The goth asked the queen bee with crossed arms, at least able to keep her toenail down better then Heather's platypus milk.
"Very." Heather grinned in amusement at the little show she just watched. "I'm just picturing Trent watching this. And something tells me he won't be eager to lock lips with you anytime soon."
"You should take sweat breath." Gwen instantly retaliated making Heather glare fiercely at the goth.
"You two have such a beautiful friendship." Duncan laughed as he got up, figuring this would be his turn. "Alright, let's see what kind other kinds of torture these guys have planned." Duncan then spun the wheel with the bottle eventually landing on Tyler.
"Tyler's dare is…jumping onto a pile of legos in your bathing suit!" Chris revealed what dare Tyler had instore, Gwen and Heather's eyes widening in horror as Duncan grinned. "Dang, this one is just mean! Hahaha!"
"Didn't know Tyler was out for blood." Duncan couldn't help but be impressed with Tyler's dare. Even Duncan will admit that there is no greater pain then stepping on a lego. And diving into a pile of legos with nothing but a swimsuit? That has got to be some form of torture in some country. "Well Heather, better get ready to dive."
"What?! Why me?!" Heather yelled in a desperate attempt to get Duncan to make Gwen do the dare. "What about Gwen?!"
"…" Duncan was silent as he gave Heather a blank stare.
"…I hate both of you," Heather grumbled as Duncan and Gwen grinned, the latter two sharing a fist bump once Duncan returned to his seat. After a few minutes, Heather was now standing on top of her stand as Chef dumped a wheelbarrow's worth of lego's in front of her. "Grrr…I hate this show!" Heather yelled as she jumped right into the pile and, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Everyone winced a bit at Heather's scream but soon smirked as they saw Heather right on top of the pile, her entire body twitching. "Hurts…everything…hurt….."
"Yeah, you're gonna be feeling that tomorrow." Chris laughed as Heather glared up at him. After getting her normal clothes back on, Heather returned to her seat with her whole body in constant pain from that dare. Once again it was Gwen's turn to the spin the bottle with her landing on the picture of Cody. "Drop a tray of ice into your undies and let 'em melt."
"That it?" Gwen rose a brow at what was easily the tamest and least torturous dare yet. Smirking a bit, Gwen decided it would be a good one to take advantage of. "I can handle that."
"She's taking the dare for herself folks!" Chris announced as Chef walked up to Gwen carrying a bucket of ice. Taking a deep breath to prep herself for this, Gwen grabbed as much ice as she good and stuffed them into her panties and immediately started to shiver. "Now that's one cool chick with a frosty tude. Chillin' by the–"
"J-J-Just g-give m-m-me the f-f-freakin freebie!" Gwen snapped at Chris who simply chuckled before holding out a freebie for Gwen.
"Congrats on winning the first freebie Gwen." Chris congratulated the goth who continue to shiver as she took her freebie back to her seat. Heather glared at Gwen as she went to go spin the wheel, upset that the first freebie went to the weird goth girl. Spinning the wheel, the bottle landed on the picture of Harold. "Preform the traditional dance of That's My Horse with Chef from the village of…uh…um…how the heck you supposed to pronounce this?" Deciding it wasn't worth figuring out, Chris just tossed the card aside. People can always just google the village's name. "Basically dance to the song That's My Horse with Chef."
Chef grinned eagerly as Heather looked to Duncan. "A folk dance huh?" Heather asked as Duncan frowned, quickly knowing why Heather was looking to him. "I bet you'll just love doing that won't you?"
"Great…" Rolling his eyes, Duncan decided to just get this over with.
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
"As easy as this sounds, no way Chris would let something like this be an option if there wasn't some sick twist." Heather had a feeling that this was more then just some folk dance.
CONFESSIONAL – DUNCAN
"Pfft, it's just a folk dance," Duncan wasn't worried about this in the slightest. It was just a stupid little gig. "So I look a little stupid, big deal compared to everything else. Surprised Heather didn't take this one for the freebie."
CONFESSIONAL – CHEF
"Hehehe, I was hoping this one would come up." Chef grinned as he rubbed his hands together.
"Alright so how do we do this?" Duncan asked as he stood in front of a grinning Chef. Chef then started to do a little dance which involved hopping on one leg and quickly switching to the other, jumping around a bit. "Uuuuuuh…"
"Don't worry Duncan, it's simple," Chris explained as he pulled out a Jug Band. "Do what Chef's doing while holding out both of your hands for a low five while I play the song, don't worry I'm sure you'll figure out the rest on your own." Chris then started to play the song on the Jug Band, helping set up the dance.
Sighing, Duncan began to dance exactly like Chef was and held both of his hands out for a low-five still thinking that this dare wasn't that big of a deal…until, "That's my horse!" Chef slapped both of Duncan hands with his own as hard as he could, creating an audible slapping sound.
"OOOWW!" Duncan yelled in pain as his hands immediately went red and started to throb. Duncan quickly growled and glared at Chef, but saw the buff cook now having both of his hands down for a low five just like Duncan was just doing. Quickly catching onto what was up, Duncan mimicked what Chef just said. "That's my horse!" The delinquent then proceeded to slap Chef's hands as hard as he could, but due to the state Duncan's hands were now in as well as Chef's toughness Duncan ended up receiving more pain than Chef. "OW!"
Chef simply chuckled as he brought up his fist, Duncan quickly flinching at what was to come. "That's my horse!" Chef then slammed his fist right into Duncan's face, giving the delinquent a strong punch while keeping up his dance.
"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAHHH!" Duncan was sent back by the punch but had to get back on his feet and continued dancing. Meanwhile, the girls watching did wince at every blow Duncan took, but they both simply laughed and enjoyed the show. Duncan, in a desperate attempt to outdo Chef and return the pain, danced back over to him and punched the buff cook in the gut. "That's my horse!"
"Oof!" This punch did managed to hurt Chef a bit…but it was far from enough to take him down as the camp cook simply cracked his neck and grinned. "That's my horse!" Chef then delivered a killer uppercut to Duncan.
"(BLEEP!)" Duncan's curse in reaction to the blow was censored as he was sent on his back to the floor. Groaning, Duncan struggled to get back and struggled even more to keep dancing as he managed to make his way to Chef and slap the buff cook in the face, but due to Duncan's injured hands and the damage he'd taken it wasn't very strong. "That's my horse…"
Chef didn't even flinch at the pathetic slap and simply grinned as he suddenly reached back behind the certain…and pulled out a canoe. "That's my horse!" Duncan didn't even have a chance to react as Chef slammed the canoe right over Duncan's head, the canoe breaking over the delinquent's head and leaving him dazed with a large lump forming on top of his head.
"Uuuuugh…" Duncan groaned as he tried not to lose consciousness, not helping was that he was starting to see stars. "That's…my…horse…" Duncan barely managed to give a pathetic fist tap to Chef's shoulder.
Just then Chef grabbed Duncan's arm tightly and lifted the delinquent off the ground and started spinning him around. "It's my horse boy!" After spinning around Duncan for a few moments, Chef threw him right back over to his seat.
"And it's over!" Chris finished his playing and quickly started clapping as soon as he put the jug down. "Duncan, an excellent performance. I'm sure the people of whatever the heck the village's name is would be proud."
"Uuuuuuugh…." Duncan could merely groan in response as Heather and Gwen looked down at him.
After taking a quick five-minute break so Duncan would walk off his injuries, it was now time for the delinquent himself to spin the wheel. "Ow, ow, ow…" Duncan let out with every step until he reached the wheel and could finally spin it. After a few moments, the giant bottle finally landed on Dawn. "Have a porcupine give you an acupuncture massage." Chris listed out Dawn's dare.
"…Ah screw it." Despite all the pain he just went through with the dare Heather pushed onto him, Duncan decided to earn himself a get out of dare free card in case something like that happened again. "I'll take it myself."
"Dang dude, you a glutton for punishment or something?" Chris laughed as Gwen and Heather looked at Duncan like he was completely crazy. After everything Chef did to him he was gonna let a porcupine essentially impale his back. "Well it's your funeral dude! Chef, bring em out!"
Everyone watched as Chef brought out a table that's typically used for massages as well as cage that everyone could see had a porcupine inside. Taking off his shirt, Duncan laid down on the table and braced for nature's little pin cushion to be attached to him. "Shouldn't be too bad…" Duncan tried to convince himself. "I got tons of piercings how bad can a freaking porcupine be."
"About 30,000 quills bad," Chris laughed as Duncan's eye's widened, the delinquent realizing he might have made a mistake. "Alright Chef, let's let the little guy do his job!" Nodding with a grin on his face, Chef put on a special pair of thick gloved that the porcupine couldn't penetrate with its quills. Opening the cage, Chef picked up the porcupine and turned it upside down, the poor little guy flailing his limbs around in response, and hovered it over Duncan's back.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Causing Duncan to let out a scream of pain, Chef dropped the quilled creature right onto Duncan's back. "AAAAAHH! Aaaaaah…oh gosh…oh…ok…" Everyone winced as they saw the porcupine struggle a bit as he was stuck to Duncan's back, thus moving his quills around. But to all of their surprise, Duncan eventually stopped yelling in pain and seemed to get used to it. "Ok…this actually isn't so bad…"
"Wait, what?" Everyone said in unison.
"Yeah…yeah feels nice actually." Duncan was eventually able to relax as the quills seemed to hit the right spots that helped with his pain from the last dare. "My Dawn was onto something with this."
"Huh…" Chris couldn't help but be a little disappointed. These dares were supposed to be disgusting and/or painful. Leave it to hippie nature-loving Dawn to think of something that wasn't either. Snapping his fingers, Chris signaled Chef to removed the porcupine to which the buff cook did, putting the little guy back in his cage and allowing Duncan to get up and collect his freebie. "Congrats my dude, Gwen you're back up."
CONFESSIONAL – GWEN
"I could tell this was going to be a long day…" Gwen could tell this day was gonna drag on and make them all feel completely miserable.
Gwen watched as the giant bottle spun around until it eventually landed on a picture of Owen. "Owen's dare is…eat a raw Carolina Reaper!" Everyone watched as Chef came onto the stage with a pair of tongs to hold a small, wrinkled red pepper by its stem. "The Carolina Reaper is the hottest pepper in the world with a spice level of 2,200,000 Scoville units, aka, really freakin hot! So Gwen, what'll be?"
Gwen put on a wicked grin as she looked and pointed at Heather. "Hope you like spicy food Heather." It was no surprise that Gwen pushed the dare onto the queen be.
Heather flinched as Chef held the pepper up to her, the queen bee having to eat it. "Um, aren't these things extremely dangerous to eat raw?" Duncan asked with a smirk on his face, further worrying Heather.
"Like you wouldn't believe, hahaha." Chris laughed in pure amusement.
"Awesome." Duncan was gonna enjoy this.
"Great…" Heather didn't even want to imagine what was going to happen when that thing entered her mouth. But with how small it was, she could probably swallow it whole. So maybe she could outright avoid the spiciness. With her plan in her mind, Heather opened her mouth up wide allowing Chef to put the pepper inside. As soon as she felt Chef drop the pepper inside, she quickly did her best to swallow the pepper whole and while she did struggle a bit the queen bee managed to get it done. "Mmmmm, deli-" Heather was quickly cut off as she felt a tingly feeling within her. Before everyone knew it, Heather entire body started to turn red before, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Flames spewed out of Heather's mouth like a flamethrower as a result of the pepper in her stomach. Everyone watching laughed extremely hard as they saw Heather running around the stage screaming and shooting flames out of her mouth. "Hahahaha! I guess she really is a dragon lady!" Duncan joked as he pointed and laughed at Heather.
Eventually Heather fell onto her knees while clenching her throat, her mouth continuing to spew flames until she was suddenly sprayed with extinguisher foam. "Man, whoever created this pepper has my utmost respect." Chris laughed as Chef continued to spray down Heather with extinguisher foam. Eventually, that did the trick as Heather's mouth finally stopped spitting out fire and left the queen bee with a fire red tongue. "Alright Heather, get your head back in the game time to spin."
"Grrr…fine!" Heather growled out as she got up and stomped over to the wheel and spun the giant bottle. After a few moments, the bottle eventually stopped on a picture of Noah. "And you know what…" Looking back, Heather eyed the freebies Gwen and Duncan had and knew what she had to do. "I'm taking it! No matter what!"
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
"There is no way I was letting those nerdlings get ahead of me." Heather yelled as both Duncan and Gwen had advantages over her with their freebies. And she wasn't gonna let that happen. "I mean, how hard can the dare be? I already drank Edwards sweat and had my stomach turn into an atomic bomb."
"Fight my interns, for a check." Chris read Noah's dare before pulling out a small blue check and handing it to Heather. "Oh this should be a fun one, and tell ya what, if you can keep it from them you can keep the check."
Heather simply scoffed and took the check from Chris, not bothering to see how much it was worth. "Seriously? Is that it?" Heather smirked a bit, think this would be an easy freebie. "I've seen your interns and they don't look that tough, I'm pretty sure you forget to feed them as well."
"Hey, interns are like reptiles. You feed em once and they're good for a while…I think." Everyone, including Chef, simply deadpanned at Chris. "But hey, if you think it's so easy Heather then let's get things started! Ooooooooh, interns!" Responding to Chris' call, a bunch of interns suddenly popped out of rather unorthodox places like from under rocks, from bushes, and even the floorboards of the stage. "Look what Heather's got!"
All of Chris' interns immediately looked to Heather…and saw the check in her hand. Heather was quickly filled with dread and worry as the interns started to look at her like lions look at a defenseless gazelle. She swore their eyes started to glow as they closed in on her with predatory looks. "Nice interns…nice interns…" Heather backed away slowly while gripping the check tightly.
"Now go get her!" Chris ordered like an owner talking to their dog.
"GROOOOOOWL!" Roaring and growling like wild animals, the interns all pounced on Heather in order to take that check from her. Heather screamed as a giant dust storm was created due to the fight as the interns punched, kicked, bite, and scratched at Heather.
"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Heather screamed as she was attacked from every single angle. "Fine! You freaks wanna piece of me!? Then come and get it!" Not letting these under-fed and over-worked interns get the better of her, Heather fought back and tossed the interns around. Everyone watching winced as the massive brawl took place. The bruises, the breaking bones, bloody noses…they were really starting to feel bad for the interns.
"Ok, ok, that's enough. Bad interns." Chris then decided to call the fight off as he pulled out a spray bottle and started spraying the interns with it. This caused them all to quickly stop fighting as they flinched and backed away as Chris continued to spray them. "Down interns, back to your hiding places!" The interns then all took off on all fours back to their hiding places. "Well that's over and congrats Heather! You get to keep the check you bravely defended."
Heather, who was covered in bruises, scratches, and bite marks, looked to the check she now had…and wasn't exactly pleased. "Ten…dollars?!" Heather yelled as Duncan and Gwen laughed. "I just got into a brawl for ten dollars?!"
"Hey, we're on a budget. What you think I'm made of money?" Chris innocently shrugged…only for a 100 dollar bill to peek out of his sleeve. "…Tap, tap." Chris quickly tapped the dollar back under his sleeve as Heather growled and glared at Chris. "Hey, least you also get a freebie." Chris then handed Heather a freebie and sending the beat-up girl back to her seat with it and a check for ten bucks.
"Least ya got something out of it, hehe." Duncan mocked Heather, only increasing her anger, as the delinquent headed over to the wheel and spun the giant bottle. Eventually the bottle stopped on a picture of DJ's.
"DJ's dare is…give Chef a foot massage." Everyone gasped as Chef took off his shoe and revealed his foot. Everyone cringed in disgust as they saw Chef's foot that had a visible odor to it that quickly attracted flies, large and uneven toenails, bunions, and thick toe jam. Duncan gagged a bit at seeing it, but then grinned evilly and looked to Heather. The queen bee instantly catching on and eyed the freebie she just got. "Quite the predicament Heather. Do you use the freebie, or save it for a more brutal, disgusting dare down the road?"
Heather was seriously considering her options. On one hand, Chef's foot easily reached the top 5 of the grossest things she's ever seen. But on the other hand…she might find something that topped even this. But Heather soon decided on what to do as Chef wiggled his toes around and causing a squishing sound. "Nope! No! Not gonna do it!" There was no way Heather could get anywhere near that foot and threw her freebie towards Chris. "Take it, I'm skipping this one!"
"Good call!" Chris agreed with Heather's decision as he caught the freebie and turned to Chef. "Sorry Chef, maybe next time."
"Aw man," Chef grumbled as he put his shoe back on.
"Pfft, wimp." Duncan rolled his eyes as he went back to his seat, Gwen walking up to the wheel in turn
Spinning the giant bottle, the goth watched as the bottle stopped on a picture of Izzy. "Get your cheek pinched by a Coconut Crab." Chris read out the dare of the psycho hose beast. "For those who don't know, the Coconut Crab has the hardest pinching force of all the crab species, its pinch equivalent to the bite of a full-grown lion!"
"Seriously? A little crab can do that?" Gwen asked in disbelief over something like a small little crab able to bring the pain like one of the most feared predators. Chris simply chuckled as he did his usual signal to Chef and snapped his fingers. Everyone watched as Chef brought out a box that looked like it was big enough to hold a small dog…only for Chef to put on the same gloves he used earlier for the porcupine and pulled out a giant crab that was bigger then even the mighty Owen's head. "…Ok, that is not a crab!" The Coconut Crab didn't look too happy about that comment and made a very audible snapping sound. "Welp, time to get the ultimate grandma pinch Heather!"
Heather flinched and put her hands to her face for protection as Chef brought the crab over to Heather. The buff cook removed Heather's left hand from her left cheek, brought the crab closer and-
SNAP!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
CONFESSIONAL – HEATHER
Currently Heather's left cheek was now bright red and incredibly puffed up, the queen bee wincing as she rubbed it. "Crabs might start to beat platypus' as my least favorite animal…" Heather growled out only to wince in pain again.
Heather watched as the giant bottle spun around until it eventually landed on Geoff. "Be spanked by angry beavers for five minutes…we're getting a lot of animal ones." Chris couldn't help but laugh at how many times they've gotten animal-based dares so far. First the platypus milk, the crab, his interns, and now the beavers. "So Heather, what're you gonna do?"
"Well Gwen, I think it's your turn to deal with angry animals this time!" Heather snapped at the goth as she walked over and slammed her fist down in front of Gwen. The goth did flinch a bit, but it was more so about what she was going to be facing. "Can't wait to see your little goth butt spanked raw."
"Gee Heather didn't know you swung that way." Duncan joked earning a gasp and fierce glare from Heather. As much as she liked to insult Heather, the images that came with that joke greatly disturbed the goth.
"Ok, now that, that image is in my head let's just get this over with." Gwen sighed as she walked out to the middle of the stage as Chef pushed out a large metal crate. With Chef ordering her to lie down in front of the box. Grinning, Chef took out a plastic baggie that looked like it had something similar to catnip inside. Dumping the stuff in the crate, soon the beavers inside started to growl and move around wildly inside, the substance Chef gave them riling them up. The buff book then opened up the crate and released the beavers that immediately went after Gwen and started to smack the goth's butt hard with their tails. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"
"This might take a while," Chris said as he checked his watch. Still four-minute and fifty seconds to go.
FIVE MINUTES LATER
"Ow…ow…ow…" Gwen's butt eventually went numb before the five minutes were over, yet it still hurt like heck.
"Ok, ok, that's enough." Using the spray bottle he used for the interns, Chris sprayed the beavers with water until they backed away into the crate with Chef quickly locking them back in. "So Gwen, how was it?"
"Screw…you…" Gwen growled through her teeth, her butt feeling like it was on fire as she limped her way back to her seat, but not actually sitting down.
"Not gonna sit down?" Heather mocked Gwen as Duncan got up from his seat. "Thought your butt would love the rest."
"Sorry, couldn't understand you with that inflated cheek of yours." Gwen retaliated as she poked Heather's swollen cheek, making Heather wince and glare at Gwen.
And so the dares continued and continued. Each one either painful or utterly disgusting.
Heather stuffing eggs into her mouth.
Gwen walking over a tight rope with meat over a pool of sharks.
Duncan having to dress like a baby.
Gwen kissing a rotting dead fish…and barfing right afterward. Followed soon by Chris barfing and having to give that 100 dollar bill to Chef.
Heather wearing angry bees as a beard.
Duncan wrestling a crocodile.
And the dares just went on, and on, and on…
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Duncan yelled in pain with each step he took as he landed on another one of Dawn's dares which was to walk through hot coals slowly. Duncan was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief as he made it to the end. "Ugh…I swear those Zen people are total masochist…"
"Quite possibly my friend," Chris laughed as he handed Duncan a freebie, the delinquent having two freebies and both Gwen and Heather having none with Gwen having used hers for a dare she really didn't wanna do earlier. "Alright Gwen, you're up again."
Gwen narrowed her eyes at the wheel as she walked up to it. She had to admit, Heather was certainly tough this round. She was able to endure everything sent her way and didn't seem to be backing down. Gwen just needed that one dare that Heather wouldn't do no matter what. Gwen spun the wheel and looked at all the pictures and realized they've landed on every camper…except for one.
"Lindsay's dare!" Chris announced as he pulled out the card of dares he's yet to read anything from today.
Heather let out a sigh of relief as she looked at the picture of the dumb blond she manipulated for over half of camp. "Finally a break, there's no was Linsiot could think of anything bad. But Heather was wrong. So, so wrong. She excepted something light and mildly annoying at worst…but…
"Ooh, you're not gonna like this one." Chris was looking forward to reading Heather this one. No doubt this would be the one that the queen bee would hate the most. "Have your head shaved by Chef."
Horror soon filled Heather's being. Her entire head…all of her hair…shaven off. And this was from freaking Lindsay?! "WHAT?"! Heather screamed as she held her hair protectively.
Duncan and Gwen both grinned as they couldn't help but share a high five at this moment. "Lindsay rules!" Gwen cheered as it looked like her wishes were answer.
"Man, I wish I had some popcorn for this!" Duncan laughed as this was probably gonna be the funniest thing he's ever watched. Karma really was a huge bitch wasn't it.
And so Heather was forced onto a barbershop chair and in Chef's hand was a buzzing razor ready to cut her hair. And Chef decided to make things worse by putting on a hockey mask to look like a killer like he did during the horror movie challenge. "What's it going to be, Heather?" Chris asked with a grin as Chef got closer and closer to Heather. "Are you going to do the dare? Or the Walk of Shame?"
Heather looked around rapidly. At the razor, at the dock and boat, and at Gwen and Duncan who were just all eating this up. She really wanted that 100 grand…but out of instinct Heather brought her leg up and kicked the razor right out of Chef's hand. Unfortunately for Heather, the razor ended up landing right onto her head. "AAAAHHH! NO!" Heather screamed as the razor still went to her head. Before she knew it, a bunch of her head had been shaven off leaving her head ugly, patchy, and with uneven strands and clumps all around.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Duncan was soon reduced to a laughing mess as he held his sides and laughed to the point of tears coming from his eyes. "IT HURTS! IT HURTS TO LAUGH! AHAHAHAHAH!"
"Wow. Well, that was an unfortunate accident…looks like Heather's out." Chris revealed making Heather gasp and for Gwen and Duncan to smile even more.
"What are you talking about?!" Heather demanded to know. There was no way she was out! Her head had been shaven just like the dare said! "He shaved my head!"
"True, but you didn't actually accept the dare." Chris pointed out the technicality of the situation. Was Heather's head shaven? Yes. Did Chef actually shave her head? No, gravity did. "If you had, you'd still be bald, but at least you'd be in the game."
"Ya know, sometimes I just love how life works out." Duncan, after getting over his laughing fit, let out as he shook his head as he felt much satisfaction from this whole experience.
Heather then let out a loud scream towards the heavens.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
MEANWHILE AT PLAYA DES LOSERS
Currently, all the eliminated campers were gathered around the main pool and relaxing as they listened to Trent play his guitar when-
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
At hearing the scream, Lincoln looked up with a smirk on his face. "Looks like karma finally did its job." Lincoln chuckled as he figured he'd be seeing a certain demon woman come to the resort soon.
"About time," Dawn let out as she snuggled close to the Loud boy.
Back on the island Heather was fuming with rage. This can't be how it ended! She worked too hard to get here! She couldn't just leave now! Especially after she was now bald. "Hey look on the bright side," Chris decided to rub salt into the wound. "Ya still got the check for 10 bucks. Should buy ya a decent wig."
"Oh, I'll be getting more than 10 bucks alright!" Heather snapped as she got out of the chair and glared down at Chris. "You'll be hearing from my lawyers! And I swear we'll sue you for everything you own!"
"Yeah, that's great Heather. I'll make sure our lawyers get to you as well." Chris fired back with an evil grin, Heather's eyes widening in response. "See, although the producers allowed you to stay on the show, that little sabotage thing you did with Dawn was still a major violation of the rules and with some help from Courtney we're actually able to make a pretty strong case against you." Heather's demeanor then dropped as Chris dropped this all on her. "However, if you decide to take your loss here like a man and let it be that, I'm sure we can just sweep everything under the rug. Sound good?"
Heather wasn't exactly given much of a choice. With her body once again red, but with rage this time, Heather headed off to the Boat of Losers with Chef. All the while Gwen and Duncan watched with grins on their faces. "Guess that makes us the final two," Gwen said as she and Duncan looked at each other. "May the best one win."
"Oh, I intend to sweetheart," Duncan stated as he and Gwen looked each other in the eyes with competitive looks.
"And then there were two," Chris announced as he looked right into the camera. The challenge now at an end and the final two campers on the island decided. "Next time, it'll be goth vs punk in an epic battle to win the check for $100,000. Make sure you all tune in to see the dramatic conclusion of…"
"Total! Drama! Island!"